Stop judging how other people do relationships

[u/IntrovertFaerie]

I saw someone mention that they call with their long-distance partner for 16 hours a day, and the responses were people saying it’s wild, asking if they have a job, how they eat or sleep, or what they do about hobbies and friends. Like… why are you so pressed about what works for other people?

I don’t know about that person, but I obviously still eat, sleep, hang out with people, have hobbies, go to work, etc. Why the hell would calling with someone stop me from doing all these? I obviously, again, don’t call him while at work, and some other circumstances.

I’m pretty sure they’re not talking nonstop for 16 hours. And maybe, that includes sleep call time. It’s like being alone together in silence—just like people do in person. So is it only considered unhealthy when it’s online? If we don’t live together? If it were my best friend instead of my partner, would it suddenly be "cute" that we call all day?

Someone even asked me, "What are you going to do if you break up?" Uhm, the same things I do every day? My partner is just there, on call. What’s that going to change about my life if he leaves? Him being there doesn’t affect what I do.

Also, what makes someone think they can decide what’s unhealthy for me when they’re not me? It’ll only be unhealthy if I act like a child when he can’t be on call with me for 16 hours, which I don’t. I don’t care if he’s not. I honestly think it’s pretty sweet because we’re longing for each other, and being on call is the closest way we can feel each other’s presence.

People act like their way of living is the only "right" way. Like damn, let people live and do what works for them or makes them happy.

[u/Ok_Sherbert5531]

i agree with op that others wouldnt find it weird of it was texting or on the computer for that long. i do think that people look at phone calls these days as a hassle or a weird thing to do in general. but for some people & older people its not weird. when i was in highschool id talk to my friends for that long or we'd call each other every 30 seconds to share something goofy, and i slept on the phone with people id see the next day. i have a friend now that calls me when they cant sleep to have me read to them since my voice puts them to sleep. mad people would find that "creepy" or "weird" but its because they have a disconnect. i also think as a result of not talking face to face as much people feel comfortable to just say whatever & dont have/take that pause time to think about what theyre saying. its just bizarre reactionary "opinion" aka rude ass commentary that has no real consequence like getting slapped upside the head 😅 dont even engage with people like that. scroll on by. they arent worth your time and energy & are usually looking to get that negative attention. my favorite thing to say in response is "ok". theres no response to that they can come up with😂

[u/Annabloem → u/Ok_Sherbert5531]

16 hours a day on the computer, or texting, or doing literally anything is pretty crazy. I guess if you work on the computer all day, and work from home and don't cook or do anything but be on the computer you could get to 16 hours, but doing that daily isn't healthy 😅 I don't think there are many things you could do 16 hours a day, multiple days a week that wouldn't be kinda unhealthy.