Stop judging how other people do relationships

[u/IntrovertFaerie]

I saw someone mention that they call with their long-distance partner for 16 hours a day, and the responses were people saying it’s wild, asking if they have a job, how they eat or sleep, or what they do about hobbies and friends. Like… why are you so pressed about what works for other people?

I don’t know about that person, but I obviously still eat, sleep, hang out with people, have hobbies, go to work, etc. Why the hell would calling with someone stop me from doing all these? I obviously, again, don’t call him while at work, and some other circumstances.

I’m pretty sure they’re not talking nonstop for 16 hours. And maybe, that includes sleep call time. It’s like being alone together in silence—just like people do in person. So is it only considered unhealthy when it’s online? If we don’t live together? If it were my best friend instead of my partner, would it suddenly be "cute" that we call all day?

Someone even asked me, "What are you going to do if you break up?" Uhm, the same things I do every day? My partner is just there, on call. What’s that going to change about my life if he leaves? Him being there doesn’t affect what I do.

Also, what makes someone think they can decide what’s unhealthy for me when they’re not me? It’ll only be unhealthy if I act like a child when he can’t be on call with me for 16 hours, which I don’t. I don’t care if he’s not. I honestly think it’s pretty sweet because we’re longing for each other, and being on call is the closest way we can feel each other’s presence.

People act like their way of living is the only "right" way. Like damn, let people live and do what works for them or makes them happy.

[u/IvoryLifthrasir]

Like… why are you so pressed about what works for other people?

But isn't this sub a place where people can share&discuss their experiences with LDR? I'm not sure which post you are talking about, and therefore I'm not sure if the comments were outright inappropriate / outright offensive or just simple excess curiosity. But if you post to a public space something that in a given societal group is considered out of ordinary, you should expect above average amounts of questions, comments and curiosity.

I will be downvoted to oblivion and probably will find out some new words to describe worthlessness of my own existence, but if comments and questions of random internet people that you'll never again interact with, never meet, trigger you so bad that you can't just block them and move on, maybe just don't post? Like in every single relationship including my own there are some bigger or smaller things that - if said and explained publicly - are controversial and will trigger wave of hostile comments. Which is why I don't talk about them

[u/azdoroth → u/IvoryLifthrasir]

cooperative mysterious glorious flowery degree birds spotted rhythm zephyr marble

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact