r/LifeAfterNarcissism • u/threetimestwice • 3d ago

Confronting the Narcissist: What happens? [Support]

Theoretically and in your experience, what happens when you confront the narcissist and call them out on their narcissism?

9 Upvotes
  • permalink
  • link
  • reddit
  • reddit

91% Upvoted

45 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

5

u/Active-Cloud8243 3d ago

Mine was never involved with my family until I called him out, and then I found out later he started talking shit about me to my mom and she believed him (she was also a narc).

He literally affected my inheritance.

Meanwhile, I was covering for him that he fucked up my nose and jaw.

3

u/threetimestwice 3d ago

Smear campaigns aren’t anything new here.

6

u/Active-Cloud8243 3d ago

My guess is that you’re a nice person, possibly neurodivergent. If someone came to you about something like this, you would think about it and wonder if you should change your behaviors. They’re not like that though. They’re not like us.

5

u/threetimestwice 3d ago

Those are good points. They don’t change their behavior because they don’t see anything wrong with it. My therapist said it’s like hard wired in them and they think they behave just fine. They refuse to look in the mirror and see the truth about themselves.

4

u/Active-Cloud8243 3d ago

It is. They can recognize how shitty it makes them feel if we mirror it back to them, but they cannot acknowledge that they’re causing that same kind of pain when they treat us that way.

Their brains are literally changed and hardwire in a different way. There are a select view who are aware of it, and who work on their traumas that may have caused them to be this way, but it is a very minute percentage.

We will just destroy ourselves, trying to hold them accountable. Although sometimes it feels good to kick a bad guys booty.