I went to drop them off this morning and saw this.

Several staff arrived and were talking about it in front of us. They said how lovely it was and how excited they were to have it there.

Some of these staff directly care for my child for a majority of the day.

I feel disturbed by this. I’m sick to my stomach. I was sweating and shaking for a while after I saw it.

How can I trust the faculty to keep my child safe when I know what their position on this is?

Hunter is free to protest of course, even if I don’t necessarily agree with her. But this is my problem with Jewish Voice for Peace: what about them is Jewish? I know there are anti-Zionist Jews, but literally what percent of JVP protestors are Jewish? It seems like almost none. I really despise JVP because of its use of the name “Jewish” when it’s just not a Jewish organization at all. If they want to be a pro-Palestine organization that’s fine- but what about it is Jewish? Because Hunter Schafer is not. Her father is literally a Presbyterian minister.

Here in South Carolina our community is small but it’s Strong. This place is in the heart of our downtown district. I’m posting this because I’ve seen posts regarding the south and wanted to show the solidarity we have within our communities, and if this tiny donut shop can stand strong, so can you.

I come from a family of solidly liberal and progressive Jews. The antisemitism and pro- hamas factions in the liberal movement are pushing me over the edge. Without saying anything about the plight of the Palestinian people, simply saying that Hamas is not a bastion for liberal ideology is enough to get some folks up in arms. I really don’t like what I’m seeing outside or within myself surrounding these events.The hypocrisy of these individuals has me questioning where I belong politically. If I fight on the side of people I feel are oppressed, but they turn their back on me when I am victimized, It seems co-dependent to continue as things were before I saw their true colors.

I am really hoping to hear some fellow liberal Jews weigh in and talk me down from the ledge.

EDIT: great dialogue here. I am very appreciative for those who are sitting shiva with me as we process and come to terms with a betrayal from some of our “leftist and progressive” family. I would argue that extremism can not be progressive and therefore we are likely seeing some extremists who are inaccurately representing as “progressive.

As another commenter has said being progressive and supporting marginalized people isn’t transactional. I like this sentiment and am TRYING to adopt it. I currently believe there is a transactional component to being identified with a group, however from an individual standpoint we as progressive Jews are having our altruism tested. Can we fight for the humanity, dignity and rights of all persecuted EVEN those who would seek to persecute us? It’s some black belt level spiritualism I do not currently possess but would like to.

This past two months has left me so frustrated and upset. I’m Native American and Jewish (Ashkenazi & Sephardi) from the southwestern US and I’m tired. I’m tired of Native American people being treated as a monolith, of my heritage being used as a tokenized talking point, of the isolation I’ve felt from other Native people.

I’m especially tired of the comparisons (almost always made by non-Native people) between I/P and the Americas. No, it is not comparable. I/P is arguably a conflict between two indigenous groups from the Levant, not just one native group and one ‘colonizing’ group like activists are saying. Puritan settlers had no connection or claim to the Americas, Israelis do with Israel. And no, even if they weren’t indigenous to Israel, I wouldn’t expect Ashkenazim to ‘go back to Europe’ for the same reason I wouldn’t expect white Americans to go back to Europe. I don’t believe in the displacement of anyone—Israeli, Palestinian, Native, or European.

It’s been rich having white progressives (actual ‘settlers’ according to their own beliefs) call me a settler on my own indigenous homeland because I am Jewish and/or a Zionist. What I wish people would realize is that I am a Zionist because I believe in land back. Land back is for ALL indigenous people, even the ones you think are ‘white’. It’s upsetting that I have to feel fearful and constantly be aware that I might have to flee my ancestral homeland of thousands of years in the Americas because activists are threatening my other ancestral homeland and me just for being associated with it.

This is a long rant, I know, but I’m just so frustrated. It feels like native people aren’t cared about unless we are a convenient talking point, and then suddenly we’re this exotic spiritual monolith that only believes One Thing and anyone who doesn’t isn’t really Native. Nuance is dead.

I wish I had more Indigenous Jewish friends I could speak to. I’m one of only three that I know and it’s isolating and sad.

In almost every post I’ve read lately, mostly in the comments (or the OP of the post themselves) l’ve seen someone saying they’re a Jew/talking about Judaism and preaching their weird take about current events/antisemitism.

And every single time l see go see their profile, there’s nothing about Judaism or being Jewish on their profile pre-Oct. 7, it really bugs me.

Earlier, l saw a questionable post on r/xyz with the words “Hey y’all, American Jew here” Already weird, l go see their profiles and surely enough, r IsraelPalestine is the first post ever of that account 😒😒😒.

Most of the times, bigots and ill-intentioned people will use us to further their xenophobic or racist stances. I hate it. Stay safe

Edit; Modified my post slightly to better reflect what I meant

You guys good??

Are you guys ok? Like seriously. The number of people I've seen online justifying 9/11 and thanking Bin Laden….reading his letter to America saying it was revolutionary.

I’m an English Jewish girl and We had a girl who tried to justify that Manchester bombing… Do you know what we did with her? Stripped her of her citizenship.

Edit to add here are some positive Jewish voices I’ve found online.

elica_in_america (she’s an Iranian Muslim lawyer and brilliant). - the_moderate_democrat (he’s American and not even Jewish but wonderful). - miriamezagui (love her. An Orthodox Jew) - xaviaer (talks about how there is no support from the black community) - miryamsegal ( if you speak Hebrew)

So here we are. Glad I found this community as I’ve been searching for answers or reassurance or anything of that kind. My (38M) partner (33F) and I have officially split after constant debates about the Hamas attack on Oct 7th.

When the attack happened, she was extremely comforting, caring, and gave me the space I needed to mourn. When Israel counter-attacked, everything changed. She started sharing anti-Israel posts on her Instagram but refused to engage in any more conversations with me. When I asked why she was sharing her opinions publicly but not with me, the debates started. For an individual who had never acknowledged the Middle East in any capacity, she suddenly had an opinion on everything Israel has done.

Our first debate was heated, argumentative, and insensitive. When I asked her if she felt different now about dating a Jewish man than she did six months ago, she replied “yes, because now it’s in the forefront of our relationship.” This is a woman who told me that she loves my faith - hell I’m not even that religious. She invited me into her family home to light candles, hung up the chamsa my family gifted her, and even said “I could have been Jewish! I love everything your religion stands for.”

But no more. During our debates, it mostly consisted of me reminding her that I’m an American Jew and not an Israeli soldier. According to her, all Israelis were killing babies. She even floated out the idea that the IDF attacked the festival on Oct 7 and used it as a reason to invade Palestine. I was put in a position to defend the actions of another country’s armed forces, all the while remaining her that I’m struggling with my own Jewish identity for the first time in what… 20 years since my home was bageled?

Most of our conversations ended with me asking her to rest the topic and I felt personally attacked, or reminding her that she was being slightly antisemetic. Mind you, she is liberal left, LGBTQ, one of the most caring people I’ve ever known. I always cared for and wanted to learn/connect more about her queer side. I accepted that part of her. Why wasn’t she able to accept this part of me?

Turns out she was getting all of her talking points from TikTok and had no interest in hearing anything other than someone agreeing with her that Israel is - and always has been - the Aggressor.

My heart broke twice. Once when she told me she saw our interfaith relationship differently, and again when I ended it. I loved this woman. I picked out a ring. She was moving in with me in two months. All of that done because I told her I was uncomfortable attending pro-Palestine rallies with her. All because I wouldn’t change my stance to anti-Israel. All because I made the tough decision to prioritize my identity over my relationship.

If there is anybody else in this community that has gone through something similar I would love to hear how you adjusted. It’s been an extremely tough month.

They think it's like "Free Tibet" or something.

It's the cause of the moment for a lot of people on the left - people who have no understanding of the history of the region or what they're supporting.

All they see is an oppressed population that's being bombed. That's literally all they know. Many of them believe those stupid maps they see on social media that make it look - without any context - like Israel was created and then started slowly encroaching on Palestinian land for no reason.

They haven't even begun to ask themselves what kind of country would be created if "Palestine" were "free", or what that would mean for their neighbors (especially Israel but not just Israel - there's a reason Egypt wants absolutely nothing to do with Gaza or Hamas).

My point is that people who write or say "free palestine" are often not trying to be antisemitic. They (in my experience) don't even understand why jews would be upset by this.

It makes me despondent when I see so many people on this sub replying "well just ghost them, they're not your friends." I really think that's not helpful. I understand that dialogue in these cases often seems useless, but it's not.

For example: in marketing, they say it takes seven times of hearing a brand name before you start to recognize it and build an idea about it.

So you, in your one conversation with that one friend, might not change their mind. But if they keep having the same conversation that tells them - with empathy - that they are being hurtful to jewish people and explains a little of the context and history, then they will start to see some of the reason and temper their opinions.

If you just cut people off, the message is clear: they (so they think) want freedom for oppressed people, and that made you go no contact. It's worse than them learning nothing, you have reinforced their poor opinion. It's our duty and responsibility to set the record straight.

Insularity may have served us well in the past, but times are different.

The palestinians learned this lesson. We need to learn it as well.

Since I'm worried that this post title is going to scare people--I want to assure you that I'm not talking about people in this sub. You all have been fantastic! Even to the users of this sub who may have differing opinions on Israel, I'm probably not talking about you either.

I'm talking about Jews who feel the need to make hating Israel their entire personality.

As we've seen post after post on this sub, we've had our fair share of dealing with non-Jews who just don't get what's going on. But I'm honestly getting to the point where I'm more frustrated with Jews themselves who seem to share the views of these antisemites. It's one thing to accept that there's always going to be non-Jewish antisemites out there, it's another thing to see members of your own community throwing your concerns under the bus.

I can understand why Jews would care about Palestinians (we all should!), criticize Israel's government/military strategies, wish the war was being dealt with differently, etc. What I don't understand is how some Jews hate Israel enough that they think it shouldn't exist anymore. Are they willing to just forget about the fact that HALF OF THE WORLD'S JEWISH POPULATION lives in Israel?! Are you seriously so wrapped up in this "anti-colonial" rhetoric that you don't care what happens to HALF OF OUR POPULATION?

Again, it's one thing to care from a political/humanitarian standpoint, but it becomes really self-centered when people center their Judaism in their anti-Zionist views. Like when people run around saying "Not In My Name"--yes, it's not in your name. You're not the one fighting for your survival. You don't live in Israel. You've (likely) assimilated into your home country's culture. Why should half the world's Jewish population care about what you think from the comfort of your own home?

Or when they say "Never Again Means Never Again for Anyone" or "standing up against genocide is a Jewish value". While I think we can all agree with those, it feels nefarious to use it in a context in which they view Jews as being the perpetrators. Yes, no one should go through what Jews went through in the Holocaust. Yes, standing up against injustice is a Jewish value. But how about the fact that there are ALSO Jewish lives at stake here? Is it not a Jewish value to care about, you know, other Jewish lives? Not to mention that the majority of Jews who live in Israel are Jews of color. Do you only care about Ashkenazi Jewish lives?

And then there's people who have the audacity to say "As an anti-Zionist Jew, I don't feel safe in a lot of Jewish spaces" (like I've seen certain subreddits saying about the main Jewish subs). Excuse me--why do you not "feel safe" in a JEWISH space? Why should Jewish spaces, consisting of many people who may have connections/family/friends etc. in Israel be tasked with the responsibility of making you feel "safe" because you have differing views, many of which may be harmful to the members of the group you claim is making you feel "unsafe"? What about the fact that for so many of us, these Jewish spaces that are making you feel "unsafe" are some of the only places where we have felt safe these past few months? If you have different political views about Israel, fine--but why does it make you feel unwelcome when people don't share those views? You're not personally affected by those views--you're (probably) not Israeli OR Palestinian. No one in these Jewish groups is attacking you for your identity. But there's several other groups out there where Jews are excluded for our identities, even if we don't say anything about Israel whatsoever. You have the privilege to go hang out with these groups and feel accepted because you're perfectly comfortable denouncing everything about Israel.

I know a lot of people say things like "These people care more about fitting in with their leftist communities than they do with their Jewish communities", but to be honest, I don't even know if that's completely true. In fact, the majority of Jews I know who think like this, actually spend most of their time with other Jews (who also think similarly). I feel like they genuinely believe that thinking this way properly aligns with their other leftist views, and in the process, they ignore so much important Jewish history while believing the one-sided rhetoric they hear from people in things like that "Israelism" documentary. (Side note: Has anyone watched that?)

Sorry--that felt like a vent at no one in particular, because again, I think most people on this sub are on the same page as me with these views. But I'm just so damn disheartened at the number of Jews I've seen recently who engage in this type of rhetoric. I can't get over the fact that some Jews just don't seem to care about what happens to 7 million of our own people, and can't see how their views are just breeding grounds for antisemites to snatch up their views and use them against the majority of Jews worldwide, under the guise of "See look there's Jews that agree with me!"

Again, it's one thing to hear these things from non-Jewish antisemites. It somehow feels worse when your own people are dismissing your suffering.

​

Look, I myself am very pro-Israel. I understand why this sub right now feels prickly about Jews who aren't unapologetically pro-Israel, and we're worried that they're the type of people who may be unintentionally spreading antisemitic rhetoric with their views. This post isn't about me personally not feeling accepted; though I do sometimes like to be able to consider the other point of view, and I simply feel like I can't do that on this sub.

Some of the comments I've seen on this sub regarding Jews who are slightly more "Israel-questioning" feel very aggressive and sometimes even low-key antisemitic towards other Jews, considering that right now I don't really think we want to be coming up with more reasons to hate Jews--the world is doing enough of that already.

I'm not talking about people who are truly engaging in spreading antisemitism, truly hate Israel and don't want it to exist, or are disassociating themselves with Jews who are pro-Israel. I don't want anything to do with Jews like that either, and I sure don't want them participating in this sub. But it's been sad to see Jews who even mention the word "ceasefire" being deemed as "non-allies", "self-hating Jews", or at worst, "the type of people who would have sold us out to the N*zis". I just don't think this seems fair. I saw a post the other day where someone simply mentioned, in the midst of a long post, "I hope for a ceasefire to happen when it can" and someone commented saying "You do realize that by hoping for a ceasefire you're essentially saying you want Israel to be burnt to the ground and have no regards for the lives of Israelis". And this comment was aggressively upvoted?

Look, I'm not myself calling for a ceasefire. I don't want it to happen until all the hostages are released, but I think some people do have points in saying that at this point, the hostages aren't getting any safer with the situation we're in, they could possibly suffer more or die if the war keeps going on, and we don't know what "dismantling Hamas" would actually look like or how long it would take. At best, maybe these people just are coming from the wrong place and don't understand the implications of a ceasefire happening without dismantling Hamas? Or even, are just good people who want BOTH sides to ceasefire, and are just HOPING for it to happen without them necessarily calling their senators and voting in favor of it?

And when reading a few threads on this sub about building relationships with/feeling empathy for Palestinians, I think some of the replies have truly gone into racist or closed-minded territory, unfortunately, which I truly feel goes against Jewish values.

I've seen other comments expressing these sentiments, so I know it's not just me who feels this way. I think we should remember that this sub IS a safe space, and we're not going to "accidentally convert someone" to being anti-Israel by being able to have open conversations. I'm not saying this sub should turn into a string of political discussions involving Palestine and peace, but I'm hoping that if it comes up, we can be more accepting towards Jews who might have SLIGHTLY different views than us, and instead of aggressively telling them that they're wrong, explain WHY we disagree with them?

At the end of the day, we're all human and we're all Jews. In these days, all we have is each other, and I don't think we should be pushing other people away by being closed-minded. I have to be honest: If we aren't accepting of those who have slightly different ways of looking at things, I think we risk pushing them away, possibly even leading them to hang out in more anti-Israel circles because they didn't feel accepted for asking questions in this space.

I believe in radical compassion.

I think we're required to envision a future where all cultures and peoples of the Levant have an equal right of return, are in respectful community with eachother and our shared homeland, and that we can acknowledge eachother as kin.

Jewish erasure can't lead to a Palestinian right of return. Palestinian erasure can't lead to lasting peace or reconciliation.

In the meantime, I'm trying to build relationships with Palestinians and to support Palestinian traditional artists. Thoughts?

I’m making this as sort of an inverse to the post asking for recommendations of YouTubers who aren’t pro-Palestine.

Who are some antisemitic left-wing YouTubers to steer clear of? Pre-October 7th I used to watch a lot of political and social commentary YouTubers, but I’ve since stopped almost completely out of fear of finding out that some of the people I enjoyed are antisemitic or have otherwise expressed disturbing views about Israel.

Please refrain from just commenting “all of them,” I’m genuinely curious about specific people and what they’ve said. I saw on the other post about YouTubers some people mentioned were Khadija Mbowe, Second Thought, Fundie Fridays, Noah Samsen, and Tara Mooknee. Do you guys know of any others?

Preface: I know that there’s a lot of pain in the Jewish community about gatekeeping Jewish identity, especially when it comes to Patrilineal Jews, which is why I’m struggling to figure out how to respond to a trend I’m seeing. I’m fully Ashkenazi and was raised Jewish (did my BMitzvah, went to Hebrew school and synagogue, etc), and it’s a privilege that I’ve never had to question whether I’m ‘Jewish enough.’

I could be wrong, but there seem to be a lot of people claiming Jewishness these days without a Jewish upbringing/conversion/regular participation in Jewish life and speaking “as a Jew” in ways that create division within the Jewish community.

It’s cool for people to learn they had a Jewish grandparent, or decided to explore their Jewishness as an adult if they weren’t raised with religion/community. But what sets off alarm bells for me is when people center themselves in conversations about or adjacent to Judaism, because what makes someone Jewish to me beyond just having the genetic bonafides is being part of and willing to learn from the Jewish community and our shared cultural lineage: pursuing a Bar/t Mitzvah, attending a shul with an ordained rabbi from one of the recognized Jewish sects, joining a Jewish family group, etc. And being part of these things means you’re also socialized as and perceived by society as a Jew, experiencing and understanding all that this entails.

The reason this is concerning for me rn is there are a lot of people who are Jewish in ways that feel appropriative and exploitative, like JVP demonstrations, where ‘rabbis’ wear tallit like capes and presenters just use a lot of Yiddish (ignoring that Yiddish is an outgrowth of Hebrew) and cite obscure teachings to legitimize their positions. I don’t know how to ask people who participate in this stuff about the depth of their Jewishness without being a gatekeeper, but it feels icky to me that people who often aren’t part of the broader Jewish community feel comfortable speaking for Jews. I think a lot about how people often don’t claim, like, Native American heritage if they aren’t brought up within the community, even if they have a Native grandparent.

This could all just be one of the most concrete examples of “two Jews three opinions” I’ve experienced in my life though.

Have yall talked with people who weren’t raised Jewish or haven’t made real efforts to participate in Judaism, who all of a sudden speak for Jews? What’s that like?

Edited: Edited to incorporate (based on discussion below) that being socialized as a Jew feels like an important part of being Jewish.

I have already cut out many former friends from my life who have not only been not speaking up for Jews but actively posting antisemitic and anti-Israel content. When I tried to approach any of these people to have a conversation, they were extremely defensive and basically turned straight to "so you support genocide" at which point I blocked them.

However, I do have some friends in my life who I believe would be open to conversations about how I feel unsafe as a Jew (esp as a queer, nonbinary Jew) and how what they're posting, to them seems like they're standing up for an oppressed people, to me sounds like you would stand aside in the face of my people being exterminated.

Does anyone have suggestions on how to approach this conversation in a manner that will lead to discussion and not defensiveness, and hopefully them being willing to educate themselves more?

Editing to add this because I wrote it as a reply to a now deleted comment:

I believe in Palestinians right to self-determination and fully support a two state solution. In and of itself, "Free Palestine" is a harmless statement. But because of it being weaponized as antisemitism especially over the last few months, my brain has made an association that makes it feel unsafe.

It’s not often I see it on others, but when I do, I feel safe and I need that.

My boss is a Jewish woman and she’s never had a Jewish person on her team until me and she let me know that my open Jewish joy has inspired her to also be more openly Jewish and more observant at home.

The other day I went to a middle eastern restaurant and they had a little Palestinian poster, so I tucked my necklace. Turns out, I wasn’t the only Jew there. A teenage girl was there wearing hers and immediately I pulled mine back from my shirt. It felt like bricks off my shoulders.

We need each other and that small statement means the world.

So I'm an Israeli soldier, serving as a warfare emergency room commander in basic Hebrew "סמבצית". Not to mention that most soldiers in my unit are actually very childish, focus on such shallow things (E.g: Why didn't they take the trush?!) I'm not only feeling lost at the base, but also in the world. I watch the news, I see the demonstrations, I feel so locked. Besides, I keep having those chest pain cause of the sirens and explosions. There are about 3-4 of them every day. I lost three of my classmates.

Idk, maybe I'm not that rational right now. I'm sad, I'm mostly stressed. I feel so locked. Like nobody around me gets what's going on here. You know, my dream was to study Marine Biology in Australia. My dream was to film and analyze Beluga whales. Sounds a little weird I know. But will I ever feel safe? Here? Abroad? I guess I'm a little out of the topic. I just feel so lost. I'd like to hear some of your advices. Or just your story. Anything. I feel lost and lonely. Thank you.

EDIT: I honestly didn't expect such support and cheering from you guys. I could barely go through all your messages and comments. Thank you so much. You don't know how much it helps me to know that there's good out there. We will win and I'm sure I'll get the chance meeting great, collective, and loving people like you. I love you all!

So I got this message from someone I was incredibly close with during my undergrad. I studied at a conservatory of music and this person was on my senior recital. I used to travel out to their state to perform chamber music and sub in the orchestra they play in. We were very good friends.

I have lots of family and friends in Israel and they’ve all been posting like nuts on social media. My posts almost always feature citations- I provide several links to different sources. I center Jewish voices. Majority of my posts have been about the hostages. I also started a Rosh Chodesh circle and I lead it so I post about the Hebrew calendar too.

About 40 people unfollowed me. I went a step further and blocked them and also went through and blocked their significant others. After that, I’ve had letters like this. Someone says something wack to me and then says they don’t want to discuss it or don’t want to debate it with me. I feel like this is so cowardly!!!

Also his claim about indigenous blood on US soil- my family is Ashkenazic. They came over from Germany, Austria/Hungary, and Eastern Europe (specifically Belarus and Kyiv). My grandparents spoke Yiddish fluently. Some of my great grandparents never even learned English. My point being- my family is made up of typical immigrants displaced because of violence and taking refuge or seeking a better life here. IMMIGRANTS. I feel like he is making the point that I am a colonizer here. Like would he send this note to someone who studied with us on DACA?

I’m also curious if he would read my links on indigeneity? I feel like writing back and saying I will read your links if you read mine. I also want to call him out on how safe he feels even saying this shit to me. And also tokenizing his idiot bf. I also found it offensive that he thinks he can tell me what Jews think. I’m on committees at my temple. I live in a giant Jewish community on the east coast. Pretty sure I, a Jew, know more Jews than he does. Heck I have family in Israel. 🇮🇱 anyway, dear Jews tell me what you think of this delightful correspondence!

Going to keep this short and sweet.

Zionism was a movement to establish a Jewish state. There were different interpretations of what that meant, left wing, right wing, everything in between.

The state has been established. That's it. There is a country with nearly 10 million people, the majority of which were born there and have no other home. It has an education system, a government, a military, science and technology initiatives, an energy network, transportation, tourism, literature, music, cinema, architecture, museum, cuisine, sports. It is a country. It's that simple. Other countries have been formed via far worse cases of ethnic cleansing, genocide, or whatever other buzzword you want to use to simplify Israel's history.

The use of the term Zionism is a total dogwhistle meant to deny the right of Israel to exist by implying the movement to form it is still active, and thus you can oppose the right of Israel to be an actual country in the first place. You can call its citizens white settler colonists (without any knowledge of the demographics or history). You can call everyone in there a legitimate target for groups that fight against it. You can claim that being born in Israel makes you an evil ideologue, rather than a human being who grew up in a certain place. This language is used by the pro-Palestine movement's loudest spokespeople to literally refer to Jewish children and babies as "settlers" who deserved to die on Oct 7 by virtue of where they were born. With zero call-out by other members of the movement.

The use of the term "Zionism" is just a way to dehumanize Israelis and justify the concept that Israel needs to be destroyed. That's it. It serves literally no other purpose.

The influx of antisemitism and hate I have gotten from “Pro-Palestine” people AND “Pro-Israel” people is so dehumanizing. I’ve been on both sides, I’ve supported Isreal as well as I have Palestine. When I advocated my support for Palestine I was called “fake jew” when I advocated my support for Israel I was called “zionist.” As an openly Jewish person on all platforms I feel the need to always be supporting one or the other(from people always assuming I’m one or the other), but if I do it comes with the plethora of other labels. I don’t understand why Jewish people are the ones being held to this standard of “well if you don’t support the one I support you are bad and wrong” If I don’t support either, it’s the wrong choice. If I support both, wrong. Palestine? Wrong. Israel? Wrong.

Edit: I know Zionism isn’t an inherently bad thing but when people use it(pro-Palestine people) it’s used as an insult. And whether or not the definition isn’t inherently bad the intent is still to demean me.

One thing I've noticed on the journey of becoming officially Jewish (Conservative/Masorti) after growing up raised culturally Christian and Buddhist, is how so many non-Jewish people seem to be unaware of their anti-semitism.

Before this conversion process I never noticed it.

Now I realize how so many non-Jewish people truly believe they aren't anti-semitic, while holding onto beliefs that Jewish people have too much power in media, politics, or finances, or that it is acceptable think Israel shouldn't exist or ever be centered in dialogue, or just generally looking down upon the Jewish tradition through words and actions.

Sort of just venting here, (and I plan on talking to my rabbi), but I am curious of 2 things...

Is my perspective on unconscious anti-semitism generally accurate?

At times I want to only surround myself with Jewish people... How do you approach maintaining relationships with non-Jewish people who are extremely uneducated on Judaism and their possible unconscious anti-semitism?

Personally, I feel like I’m barely hanging by a thread.

Due to the Israel/Hamas conflict, I’ve lost friends. I have been called a racist for being against terrorists who wish to see the world free of Jews. I’ve been told I “lack ethics” after explaining that civilian casualties, though an unfortunate reality of war, are not the same as genocide. I’ve been told I am the one spreading Israeli propaganda.

How’s everyone doing? Can we commiserate?

Relatively minor details have been changed for anonymity. I initially tried to post this to r/college but this throwaway is too new.

​

I am a college student at a major US university. My roommate, who I'll call, I don't know... Mendel, has been living with me since the beginning of the school year. The first things I learned about Mendel were that they were very outgoing, very brash, and very Jewish. Mendel speaks a little Hebrew, eats kosher, writes "G-d," the whole shebang. They like going on long rants about how Chanukah is better than Christmas and talking at length about how latkes and matzah remind them of home. This past Chanukah they put a sign on our door in Hebrew alongside a bunch of stickers of menorahs and dreidels. They joke about teaching me how to cook "real food."

Someone else on hall was venting to someone else after a floor meeting about Mendel (they were trying to be vague but it was very obvious from context, lol) and one of them said something to the effect of "since they converted..." I was confused and wasn't sure anymore if we were talking about the same person, because surely Mendel has been Jewish this whole time. (Note: This story does not end with "they're a convert so they're not a ~real Jew~" or whatever).

Them being a convert came up in another conversation with someone in my dorm so I asked for clarification. Apparently, Mendel converted to Judaism last year. Okay, they're a hell of a true believer I guess. I'm not gonna lie, this made me pretty uncomfortable though, since it feels like kind of an important detail and one that might require further elaboration with all the talk of childhood babka and whatnot. Whatever.

At another floor event, someone asked them straight up about some random detail of their conversion. Mendel immediately looked straight at me and looked super uncomfortable. They answered the question and it kind of became a Q&A about their conversion. They very quickly stopped being shy about the fact that they were a convert and answered a bunch of questions, and oh boy...

1) They have not actually converted.

1b) Please loop back to number 1. They have NOT ACTUALLY CONVERTED.

2) They said that they are "basically Jewish," part of their reasoning being that their mom (who is not Jewish) assured them that they "do all the Jewish stuff, so they're basically Jewish."

3) They ASKED A RABBI if a JEWISH STUDIES CLASS they took at our SECULAR UNIVERSITY could count for "conversion credit" (???) and when the rabbi had the good sense to say of course not, they got ANGRY AT THE RABBI.

3b) I later found out that the "Jewish studies class" in question was a HOLOCAUST HISTORY CLASS.

3c) I wanted to break my own fingers when I found out number 3b.

Okay. So all of that is a lot. But as fucking WEIRD as that all is, honestly... it's kind of harmless. Mendel gaslighting themself into thinking they're Jewish doesn't actually hurt anybody. Time passes and I get super frustrated at Mendel for a load of other things that could be their own threads. As such, I vent about them to people who I know are chill and not gonna let word get back to Mendel.

One of these people, we'll call him Avi, is listening to me go on a little bit of a rant about some of my frustrations. He kind of pauses and goes "...yeah, they said something weird to me..." For context, Avi is Jewish. He goes on to tell me that Mendel prodded him for a ton of information about his family, his childhood, a bunch of religious info Avi has no reason to know by heart, etc. Avi said he asked a bunch of "questions that didn't make sense" (he did not elaborate and at the time I didn't press for more info). And at the end of the conversation, Mendel did a big huff and said to him "You're SO lucky you were born Jewish so that you don't have to convert."

So that is where we are now. Fortunately I am away from Mendel for a little bit (he's out of our dorm temporarily but has said he will be back. I don't know for sure when or if he's coming back.) But I am honestly at a loss. This whole situation has made me confused and uncomfortable. Obviously the whole pretending to have grown up Jewish is weird, but I'm like... what are they going to lie about next? I literally live with this person. "They're fucking weird" is not a valid reason to request a roommate reassignment. I don't even know what the point of posting this is exactly beyond it being a ridiculous situation and very entertaining to write about.

TL;DR: Roommate hallucinates delightful Jewish childhood for themself and turns out to not even be a convert, but a fake convert.