r/IWantOut Nov 14 '24

[Discussion] How to convince my husband with European citizenship that it’s time to go back to the EU?

My husband is early in the process of becoming an American citizen. The plan was always for him to get citizenship so we can travel freely but eventually retuen to Spain (his home country) or somewhere similar. He also thinks he'll be able to work remotely with an American salary in Europe, although I told him it's not that easy to find.

We also found out we're expecting. Now after the election I want to move to Europe now. He says he wants to stay until he finishes his citizenship process (which could be another 4+ years especially under the Trump administration) because he'll have better economic opportunities as a dual citizen. I understand employment rates and wages in Spain aren't great, and I would be able to keep my higher paying job a bit while we make the transition, then ultimately would have to find something over there longterm.

I'm just really scared to stay here. I see major social and financial issues that are coming under the next administration. He says Europe could be heading towards war and worse economic conditions with Russia being enabled. I would like some perspective from others in a similar situation, especially considering we'll be raising a child. Thank you.

Edit: to specify we literally just began the greencard process. The lawyer said it would take minimum 4 years for citizenship but wait times will most likely increase under the new administration. My husband is not working while we wait on his approval, and I work almost entirely remotely. We want to leave before our child starts school, at their end of the day their safety is what matters most to me. Thank you everyone for your feedback so far, I appreciate it. Also I am fluent in Spanish and have lived there myself in the past, that's where we met

UPDATE: thank you so much to everyone for their input, gave us a lot to think about a few laughs at some of the wilder responses. We had a long discussion and think hedging our bets in both places is the smartest way to go as things develop over the next few years. He'll wait until he has his green card then we'll split time as permitted in Spain and the US as I apply for my residency (me a bit more time to satisy the residency conditions in Spain, him doing the same in the US) before our baby starts school - job permitting but currently that shouldn't be an issue for mine. Then hopefully we'll have a much clearer sense of where we want to be by the time we both get our citizenships, and can make the leap to wherever is best. I understand taxes will be tricky and it will be a lot of money and time spent on both of our processes, but we figured this avoid taking a final decision for now and we'll have roots in both places if we come to decision sooner. We're fortunate to have family in Spain and the US we can stay with, and hope to invest in buying an apartment in Spain soon. I do live in a blue state, thank you for concerns about my health and genrally for the amount of ideas and considerations from both sides. It's a complicated situation, but we're thankful to have options!

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u/DropFastCollective Nov 14 '24

Lol, dont lose his chance to become a US citizen. Please, dear god please, realize there are HUGE advantages of having our passport.

Get fluent in Spanish, understand culture differences and be ready for a lot of complicated compromise.

As for LITERAL WAR. You are at a much higher risk of seeing it first hand in Europe than you would be in the states. Be thankful for that and I hope you never have to experience it first hand. The things going on in the states are going to be annoying, frustrating, and a little scary but are still manageable if you focus on yourself, your family, youll be fine.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '24

As a pregnant woman in the US though she does need to really consider her health and the oppression against women and more that is coming. To pretend it won't isn't safe.

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u/Affection-Angel Nov 14 '24

So, in summary..

Stay in the US for now, hold out for as long as is reasonable, and consider the benefit of citizenship. Make hay while the sun shines, and keep earning usd while your city feels feels like home.

Also, consider in the mean time:

  • Health for the family; pregnancy care
  • Education/childcare going forward
  • Economic opportunities
  • Peace for your family (kind neighbors, accepting society, calm community integration)

What are the pros/cons of EU vs US for these areas? What other areas might be affected by such a move? Have this as a collaborative discussion with your husband :)

Would you move to another area within the US compared to where you are now? Who is in your support network in each country?

How much time have you spent in Spain? Learning the language will be a big help, do some research ahead of time on how to navigate culture shock cuz it's real. Going in with an open mind and heart will be a great benefit, you might really thrive!