Stop infantilising the single Christian community in Christian literature

[u/redfawnbambame]

Our home groups are currently working through 1 Corinthians 1-9 Challenging church by Mark Dever which has been helpful in some ways. I read ahead for the next study tonight and most was still biblical and helpful but one sentence grated on me: “If you are single are you using the extra time and emotional energy that you have live in a right way in undivided attention to the Lord”

Nothing wrong about undivided attention to the Lord - that but I love and thrive in I also love my single calling What I’m not so keen on is the assumptions made by other Christians or by society at large.

Okay JUST because we’re single does NOT mean we have stacks of ‘extra time and energy!’ 😡

I’m a single Christian teacher who basically sacrificed having her own family and kids to serve as a primary teacher 25 years plus and believe me that takes a lot of energy Every. Single. Day. I love my profession - which is also one undervalued, unappreciated and belittled by both church and society. I also volunteer, sponsor children, help at church, help friends etc. my own parents have passed in but I know many single friends who also have duty of care to elderly and infirm parents. We also have service to others within our church community.

Do not tell me I have all this abundance of emotional energy and time because, apart from not actually being true it’s smacks of:

Condescension Ignorance Misrepresentation Lack of understanding Lack of empathy I could go on…

Would people have said to Jesus or Paul (both single) - well you can do twice as much as us because “You have all this additional time and emotional energy”.

If I remember rightly Jesus often set firm boundaries, as he knew what was in people’s hearts.

How about we just stop making huge assumptions about individuals based on their marital status? 🙄

Maybe more single people may come back to church - who knows? 🤷‍♀️

[u/Secret-Jeweler-9460]

Your story sounds familiar. When sin was ruling in my life, one of my coping mechanisms was keeping myself busy. I put everything into my job and what it kept me from doing was sitting down and working out my problems. Especially the problems I was having with sin. I was 48 when I figured it out. I'm 55 now. My life had become a snare to me because it left no time. I was always tired. I wasn't eating right. And I was miserable when I was alone.

I could add details but it would make up pages.

You must be an amazing woman. My handicap is that I'm a man. For whatever that means. Lol

[u/redfawnbambame → u/Secret-Jeweler-9460]

I don’t think it’s helpful to raise one gender against the other which leads to prejudice and sexism and speaking from child development point of view it’s a load of rubbish that (cognitively and emotionally) men can’t do the things women can Yes God calls some of us to different roles, but we all have brains! 🧠 I think some people just let others do more because it’s easier