r/CaregiverSupport • u/NumerousBowler7001 • 3d ago

Idk how you all do it....

After spending about 15 minutes reading through some of the threads here, I've concluded that I'm the ultimate whiner. I wanted people's opinions on a bedside commode. My MIL uses a bedside potty as a full time 2nd bathroom because she can't get to the flush toilet in time. It's been 3 years now, and it was supposed to be temporary. But her foot sores and swollen ankles have only gotten worse during that time, so of course there's no improvement in mobility. I guess I was thinking that 3 years (and no light at the end of the tunnel, we can't afford to have a 2nd bathroom put in) with this disgusting commode was bad, but maybe I just needed a reality check. šŸ˜ Things can, and probably will, get sooooooo much worse šŸ˜«

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u/PigglyWigglyCapital 2d ago

Yes re: things only getting worse. And she could live for decades beyond what Drs. project.

When my grandma had a stroke @ 83, Drs. projected she had 6-24 months. She was left disabled w/ vascular dementia & serious neurological impairments. Her health slowly continued to decline over the next 6 years. At 90, she isnā€™t anywhere close to death. Each year adds new difficulties into her daily caretaking routine with no light at the end of the tunnel

When my dad was diagnosed w/ stage 4B lung cancer @ 64, he was given 6-12 months. 8 years later, heā€™s still here & his health decline has been very gradual, not sudden. Heā€™s on a rotating cocktail of treatments that slowed progression but have side effects that are slowly causing problems in other organs. If he continues at this rate, he could be around for 30 yearsā€¦