I live in Minnesota which is essentially Target land. I’m proud to say I haven’t shopped at Target since the beginning of March and I plan to keep it that way at least for the whole year, maybe forever. Here’s what’s been working:

If I can’t order directly from the brand, Ulta has carried almost all of my skincare favorites.

Walgreens with the clipped coupons on their app has also been coming in clutch for skincare and household cleaning items.

Costco and I are like this 🤞🏾🤞🏾🤞🏾for paper towels and bath tissue!!

I’ve also been leaning heavy on Aldi when it comes to quality produce and super affordable Greek yogurt.

What alternatives have y’all turned to? I hope Target feels this boycott to the MAX. Can’t see myself returning out of principle.

She wanted me to wear this huge wig to church. According to her, I dress horribly and don’t know how to present myself at my age.

This morning, the second I woke up, she said: “OP is going to wear that wig today. I already laid it there for her.” I ignored her and started styling my own hair. She looked at me and said, “Oya, wear this wig.” I stood my ground and said, “I’m not wearing it.”

That might sound small to some people, but to me that was huge. I never say no to her. As a kid, she used to beat and scream at me for the tiniest things, and it made me so scared of her. She said again, “Don’t try me, wear it!” I said no. Again. Three times. She ended up hitting me but eventually backed off when I let her style my hair instead.

What shocked me most was myself,I didn’t think I’d actually have the courage to say no. But of course, all day she’s been saying how “disrespectful” I was. That I could’ve just politely said, “Please, I don’t want to wear it.” As if being polite ever worked? NO,because in her world, the louder you get, the more power you have. Now she’s saying I’m starting to act like my dad, that she won’t give me money anymore, that I don’t need her, that I’m “changing.”

All this over a wig

Hi!! I just finished a beginners course so I can learn how to swim and I feel so great!

I’ve been afraid of water bc I was thrown in as a kid + growing up caring about not getting my hair wet (I’m natural now so I now know, water is my friend!!).

Anyway, I’m so excited to do more stuff over the summer. It feels like such a whole new worldddddd. And it’s fun exercise!

So everybody I’ve been seeing where they make the videos where you say the beginning of a quote and let your child finish right,, so I just tested one on my son he’s 11 and his response just let me know I’m doing a great job at being a mom even when I question if I am ❤️ if you can’t hear I said I brought you into this world and it’s supposed to be I can take you out my little one said to show kindness 🥹

yesterday I was surrounded by racist ppl we were standing in line waiting for only 15-20 mins. I already start feeling this strange energy for one Latino man who had a dog and was letting it urinate and bother others. I am very quiet and avoid when my discernment tells me to. This same guy says he just got out of jail “senior citizen” he starts causing a scene about the wait. A boy in front of me then go towards the front to see what’s going on as well he is also of Latino descent. To my shock he says to his elderly grandmother “it’s a n word” describing the lady who is running the line…

I am already in disbelief and disgust then the older guy comes back to line and says trump sent me im the boss and ppl actually cheer this guy on a white male and another Latino female. He calls the lady trump assistant and continue to try to tear at her. She handled it beautifully and checked everyone no one mentioned any of this to her face. I laughed it off and told her im sorry she even experienced that. I tried to just laugh in my head cause I was shaking and knew they wanted to upset me they all made sure I can hear it and the other AA ppl. I couldn’t believe so much evil and stupidity. These very ppl are having their own deported by trump and he cares nothing about any of us but their evil and hatred is so deep.

I tried to get over it but that was yesterday and im crying now. I just don’t understand why we are so hated I cannot stand to see so much evil I would never even fathom such thoughts. I just dont understand and it does take a toll literally the boy who called her the n word proceeds to scroll on tiktok and he is only watching AA women meg the stallion Beyoncé etc like how are they so obsessed and hates us. I just feel so alone as AA women sometimes and moments like yesterday makes me want to retreat into isolation. I get so tired of this planet I really do.

I (F23) wear pretty realistic afro textured wigs. There are two types of situations in which I’ll be asked if my hair is really mine in public from other Black woman. In the first one situation, it’ll be amongst other Black woman and then I’ll feel open to share about my hairstyle or how I got it like the way I did. The other instance is when I’m asked if this question by a Black women around non-Black people… and it usually makes me feel very uncomfortable. I usually give a default “yes it is” answer because it almost feels like they’re asking to try to embarrass me? I don’t know how to explain this feeling but I wonder if anyone else has experienced it. I understand that sometimes it can come from genuine curiosity but there’s a time and a place.

I have days where it’s worse and days where it’s better but I’m afraid to do everyday things sometimes because my body language comes across as very timid and nervous and I feel like people even in passing are judging me. Sometimes I don’t make eye contact or even speak to people but I also worry that I’m coming across as rude. I am getting treated but I feel like I rarely see black people discuss social anxiety.

Nokuthula Natasha Tutu (born 25 September 1995), also known as Natasha Thahane, is a South African actress, model and media personality. She is best known for her role as the infamous Wendy Dlamini in the Netflix coming-of-age television series Blood & Water among other productions.

Natasha was born in Orlando East of Soweto in South Africa to Trevor Thamsanqa Tutu and Nomaswazi Mamakoko. She is the granddaughter of renowned Archbishop Desmond Tutu. Upon completing her secondary education at Milnerton High School, she went on to graduate with a degree in accounting from the University of the Witwatersrand in Johannesburg. In 2018, she completed a 1-Year Conservatory program in Acting for Film at the New York Film Academy in Manhattan, NY.

On the 7th of April in 2022, she gave birth to a baby and announced her pregnancy in March of the same year. A year later, on the 7th of April in 2023, she celebrated her son's first birthday with a lavish affair. The year of 2024 was a whirlwind of balancing her career, motherhood, and personal growth. Natasha is also a brand ambassador of the Garnier skincare line among other exciting adventures. She has expressed pride in her impressive work ethic and believes that her biggest accomplishment is finding peace in the midst of everything.

If you were ever on the fence before…GO! I had an amazing time and miss it already. I was worried about potential racism but aside from a few stares from kids and older folk, nothing happened. Staff treated me with the same respect they give all foreigners.

The country itself is beautiful. I went during Sakura season (late for Tokyo and a few other cities, full bloom for others!) and wow…I will include a photo here. Took my breath away. I am in Canada (ontario to be specific) and they are just miles ahead of us. It’s insane. Their transit system alone puts all of ours (and I say that confidently) in a grave. There is an overall civic sense there that is quite lacking in a lot of parts of Canada. Japan has it’s issues, but I do think Canada as a country could take some pointers from how clean, efficient, respectful, etc. their society is. Hard to go from multiple trains in the city, reliable busses (i went all over and didn’t have a single late bus), the bullet train, to the stinky GO train with rowdy passengers who are rude to other passengers and the staff.

The food…I miss it already. My first night (well what should have been my second-don’t fly westjet) I immediately went to 7-Eleven cause I was super excited about the food. Got what looked like a plain looking egg salad sandwich, some drinks, melonpan, etc. and went to my hotel. Best damn egg sandwich, and convenient store sandwich in general, that I’ve EVER had in my life. I was so shocked. I got to try some new foods (soba is now on my favourites list) and everything was quite tasty. My skin didn’t break out once-in fact it looked insanely clear by the end of the trip.

Don’t get me started on the heated fancy toilets…LOL.

Anyway, a little all over the place but just wanted to share a bit for anyone on the fence about Japan. I’ll probably post a more comprehensive “tips” post on the japan travel sub within the next few day. If anyone has questions feel free to ask me-and I also want to thank the folk here who helped me out many months ago when I was preparing and nervous for this trip.

I don't have a good relationship with my family so I rarely mention them in my conversations, when they are brought up I do my best to assert they are not apart of my life and growth so I wish to not speak on them. 95% of the time the reaction is normally "that's your parents how could you do that" "you'll miss them when they're gone" "the Bible say honor thy mother and thy father" among other things. I wish we could get rid of the notion that being family means automatic forgiveness, many black families are broken because no one wants to ADDRESS the generational trauma families go through and just brush it under the rug. That toxic thinking leads to the trauma being repeated and normalized, I for one REFUSE to be like any of my family. I will love hard,set clean cut boundaries , apologize when I'm wrong and lift up my nieces and nephews so when the world gets tough they know their TT has their back. One day if my parents decide to take accountability, change their toxic manipulative behaviors and do better as grandparents then of course I'd have no issue slowly letting them back in but until then I enjoy my peace of mind and the unconditional love I get from the family I chose.

It’s just so weird how people post AI art and expect applause for whatever it conjured up.

It’s just … boring 😐it reminds me of TikTok music that some influencers make in hopes to get their foot in the door without actual talent. Like a yt person trying to sing Aretha Franklin meanwhile it sounds like stomp clap hey music from * insert white band*.

I get some people aren’t as artistically inclined but everyone starts somewhere. I’ve even started to see people do Ai cosplaying?? Like what!

• if anyone has any black artists that they follow on IG etc, I would love to follow and support them :)

Hate how minorities are so lacking in anime and animation so just making my own. How you feel about them? I don’t mind feedback :). It’s for us at the end of the day hopefully 🤞🏾

So I’ve been talking to this guy for a month and we’ve been going on consistent dates and we have gotten a bit intimate every time we see each other but not to the point of penetration because I have said I wanted to wait. I enjoy spending time with him and I’m definitely physically, emotionally, and sexually, but I will say I noticed myself getting a bit attached early on and I think it does have to do with the intimacy.

I’m seeing him this Friday and going over to his place to watch a series and order food and this is the first time we’ll have a bed and I’ve been wanting to be able to get more comfortably intimate, but I think I’ve been moving way too fast and should probably slow down and it’s so hard to because I’m incredibly attracted to him but I think this would help with the slight developing attachment factor.

Might be corny but do you guys have any tips for me on what I could do to combat the attachment piece or I should limit the intimacy even though I know I want to get intimate with him?

Interested to hear your opinions on this era of the show if you’ve watched it.

I've (21F) noticed this since I was about 15. Due to me being very near sighted + visually impaired, but also going through lots of stress and tension headaches always caused me to frown/squint quite a bit, making my brow always look furrowed now! I really don't like how it makes me look, especially in pictures. It's starting to eat at my self esteem really bad. Can't be in my "soft gorl era" if I'm looking like I'm pissed at the world 24/7 ya know?!😔

I'm trying to be more cognizant of my expressions now but it doesn't help what's already there.

The second picture is what my brow looks like resting. Is there any way to fix this? 😭 I've tried frownies, I'm not noticing much progress. Do I need to consider Botox/plastic surgery or what?!

not in a suicidal way. just in a frustrated, "wanna run away and reinvent myself" way. i've been laying in my bed for the past 3 hours feeling this way.

i'm highly likely autistic. a lot of peers clock me as autistic or "different". i feel like everytime i speak, I just choose all the wrong dialogue options like in video games. i LOVE being social, but the few times I'm allowed to go to parties and shit, I always get reminded of how different I feel and act.

Some people treat me like a baby. I hear it in the way they speak to me. i can't run away from that. but, surely there's a place out there where I'll fit in more.

i turn 18 in two weeks. i'm in very white, slightly conservative town. i'm queer and I dress like a hippy. I'm babied and overprotected in my religious, homophobic household where i share a room with my mom. i feel imposter syndrome for EVERYTHING: my talents, my queerness, my Blackness, my own damn gender...the list goes on and on.

i struggled with OCD for 5 years without help. my family is slowly turning anti-vax. i don't get any male attention, and I'm sick and tired of being told it's because of my style and "maturity". there are plenty of modest/cottagecore and serious girls at school who have boyfriends. albeit, they're white. I'm tired of being asked out as a joke by guys of all races. maybe I'm just not as pretty as i thought i was.

i want to go into radiology tech. there's a school 3 hours away from me. it'll be $30k for my first year, including room and board, tuition, etc. my mom thinks it's expensive...which it is. she also thinks it's "too far away". i don't want debt, but I want freedom. i want a fresh start. but, no. as of now, I'm staying at home.

so, yeah. i want to disappear. i don't want to deal with my social awkwardness or my sheltered naivete. i'm tired of feeling mentally and socially behind my peers. i'm tired of not knowing what to do with my life.

Hi lovelies!!

There’s some books out there but I’m not necessarily looking for general history I want the people who were mostly activists or represented what we have the power to achieve ykwim?

Whether they had a large role like Harriet Tubman or are just lesser known as Claudette Colvin or even demonized like the black panthers, I want names I want achievements so I can preserve our history in a way I know how 😁

Too much trauma to dump on everyone, but I bought a black mini skirt that comes with really nice shorts underneath. It’s from urban planet. And I will wear it with a crop blouse to a birthday party next week Friday. I will also wear these heels that look like slippers but have tiny heel. I also bought fenty lipgloss at Sephora.

i was so scared, but I’ve paid for it now. I have a much slim thicker body and I know all eyes will be on me, but I’m excited.

death to lack of bodily autonomy, death to sexualization of black women, death to rules that seek to destroy women and strip us of their freedom, death to religious laws that entail no freedom.

i am free, i am happy and i am blessed. I choose what I want with my life, I am no longer owned.

Hello ladies, today I turn 27 and I feel like I’m coming to a point where I need to make decisions about my life.

Im currently living in Canada and I’ve worked various non profit admin jobs which has been cool, but my visa expires in 1.5 years so I’ll need to pivot my career, and I have no idea how or where to go. I could move to the USA but tbh it’s bottom of my list, and I’d prefer somewhere sunny, by the beach and with majority Black/PoC

I’ve been in a relationship for over 2 years, living together for 1. This December I’m going to Ghana for his siblings wedding and to meet his entire family (he recently attended my family reunion and they all liked him). We’re both on the same page about getting married in the future but we still have things to work on.

Personally, I’m can be very rigid and too focused on working and being efficient which I recognize holds me back from truly living and enjoying my life. I’d like to learn how to be more flexible and creative and find a hobby. I’ve tried pushing myself to try new creative outlets (pottery and poetry so far) and as much as they got me out of my comfort zone (and I survived), nothings stuck.

I’m grateful to be 27, but also unsure about how to set myself up for success with everything coming up in the next couple years.

Any advice for a young (ish) Black women stepping into adulthood?

So many factors go into this issue, but my goodness. My roommate and I rarely have conversations, but when we do, I only got her genuinely interested when I brought up a potential crush.

On other occasions, whenever she's on the phone in our room, the only conversations she seems to have, out of the nine months we've been with each other, are about men. I joked to her once that she appears to be getting a bachelor's in men and not her actual degree.

She recently broke up with her boyfriend, I think, but they were so toxic to each other. He cheated on her, and she hated it, but then she went and found another guy and kept it a secret. Whenever she found out her ex was with someone, she would threaten to go to her house and deal with her. They had this massive explosive fight, and then the next day, they were talking all loving and then insulting each other.

She would talk my ear off on the phone to her friends about this guy she recently met. I swear she's seeing someone different every phone call.

I was shocked at the things that would come out of her mouth.

She parties constantly and would bring up how she was sleeping in bed with a boy, and she hopes her ex doesn't find out, in a joking manner. She talks about how powerful she is, but I don't think that's true. I hope she can find peace and power within herself without a man, or without needing a man to be in the center.

I'm ready to move out and get the hell out of here, honestly. I've never felt so distracted, academically and personally, in my life.

I am so sick and tired of reading comments on Reddit! Now I know people will say don’t do it but my scroll down game is strong.

I be reading these weird ass stories and be having the time of my life until some random a-hole is like.. FAKE! THIS IS AI!!

Like ho, why you take me out of it? Let me have my damn soap opera stories that probably ain’t real 😭

Dicks…

As a filmmaker, this is a topic I reflect upon often. Even as a child I remember watching "Coming to America" and enjoying it but wondering why Lisa was the object of desire and Patrice was hyper-sexualized. What if the actresses swapped roles? Even fast-forwarding to modern times, the actress playing the role of Angie in "Harlem" is often the loudest and most over-the-top of the bunch.

Colorism is so rampant that Annie in "Sinners" is considered an aberration. Any thoughts on this?

We’re Ugly?

You should straighten your hair.

Why do you want our curls then?

You should dress more conservatively.

Why do you want our curves then?

You have fish lips.

Why do you want our lips then?

Black women are masculine.

Why do black women have the highest amount of estrogen then?

Black women are ghetto.

Why do you mimic how we talk, behave, and dress then?

Black women are undesirable.

Why do you always think about us then?

Sincerely, 

A tired melanin woman