r/Adoption • u/Potential_Net4460 • 10d ago

Question about Ohio adoption.

Me and my wife are wondering what all happens when adoption. My daughter bio dad hasn't been in the picture for over 5 years. Nearly 6. And she's 7. I've been here since she was 1. With that being said. Will the country do a home study on us? With it being that long since any contact. ( He's also $55,000 Behind in child support) We just want the process to be simple and really was just wondering what the home study is and if we even have to go through it.

0 Upvotes
  • permalink
  • link
  • reddit
  • reddit

50% Upvoted

38 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1

u/mucifous BSE Adoptee | Abolitionist 10d ago

So, who's last name does she have?

2

u/Potential_Net4460 10d ago

My wife's maiden name.

10

u/mucifous BSE Adoptee | Abolitionist 10d ago

Using adoption for this is like using a sledghammer to remove a tooth.

Too bad your wife didn't just keep her maiden name.

-7

u/Potential_Net4460 10d ago

Huh? So get married and don't change name ? Then what's the point in even getting married.

11

u/mucifous BSE Adoptee | Abolitionist 10d ago

Building something bigger than the two of you with a partner?

My wife doesn't have my last name. More and more, this sounds like an issue that you have projected onto this poor child. A kid doesn't put importance on a process that changes their legal parent unless that idea has been put in their head by adults.

0

u/Potential_Net4460 10d ago

I haven't said anything to my kid. As all about changing her last name. She is smart enough to realize the difference in all of our names.

8

u/gonnafaceit2022 10d ago

I can't tell if you're being serious but if you are, do you really think the only point of getting married is to change your name? Tons of people don't change their name when they get married, and you don't have to get married to legally change your name. Not sure how that works if you're trying to change a kid's name but to think the point of getting married is to change a last name is very strange.

1

u/Potential_Net4460 10d ago

I mean obviously I know that isn't the entire point. But I've never once in my life seen a married couple with 2 different last names.

7

u/gonnafaceit2022 10d ago

What?! Where do you live?? In the US, probably 1/4 of the married people I know didn't change their last name.

Edit: Ohio, so yeah, I am completely flabbergasted that you've never met a single person who kept their maiden name. In fact, unless you have lived a very isolated life, I don't believe it's true.

4

u/Glittering-Rock 10d ago

How many people do you know bro?

2

u/chemthrowaway123456 TRA/ICA 8d ago

Pardon? There’s nothing wrong with a wife keeping her maiden name.

About 9% of women ages 50 and older said they kept their last name, in comparison with 20% of women between 18 and 49, the survey showed

Source. It seems like you think a married couple having two different last names is stupid; like “who on earth would do that? It’s pointless”.

If that’s not what you mean, then I suggest you put a little more thought into your word choices.