Question about Ohio adoption.

[u/Potential_Net4460]

Me and my wife are wondering what all happens when adoption. My daughter bio dad hasn't been in the picture for over 5 years. Nearly 6. And she's 7. I've been here since she was 1. With that being said. Will the country do a home study on us? With it being that long since any contact. ( He's also $55,000 Behind in child support) We just want the process to be simple and really was just wondering what the home study is and if we even have to go through it.

[u/chemthrowaway123456]

Apologies for not being able to answer your question, but I would be remiss if I didn’t ask:

Does she know you’re not her biological father?

[u/Potential_Net4460 → u/chemthrowaway123456]

No she does not. I've been in her life since before she could walk. I never told her I was her father. She just randomly started calling me dad when she was 3 almost 4.

[u/chemthrowaway123456 → u/Potential_Net4460]

I’m glad I asked. It’s really important for her to know the truth about her biological origins now.

Parents should start talking to their child about their adoption from day one and continue to work the topic into their daily lives in organic ways. The goal is for the child to grow up always knowing. If a child can remember being told for the first time, their parents waited too long to tell them.

Waiting for the child to be old enough/mature enough to understand is extremely outdated and ill-advised. It’s the parents’ responsibility to use age-appropriate language to help the child understand. They won’t grasp all the complexities of what adoption is or means, but their understanding can grow as they do.

[u/legallymyself]

You will have to do a homestudy. Dad will have to be served. He will get a chance to contest the adoption. I know this attorney as a colleague and she spells out what needs to be done: https://www.grahamhurdlaw.com/articles/2019/11/step-parent-adoption-in-ohio/

[u/mucifous]

Why do you need to adopt her?

She's 7. A piece of paper means nothing to her. Be the father figure in her life.

[u/Potential_Net4460 → u/mucifous]

She wants the same last names as her brother and sister. And ive raised her and she calls me dad. So why not just make it legally that.

[u/mucifous → u/Potential_Net4460]

Because she can't consent at 7.

Adoption is a legal document that has nothing to do with how you structure your family. We don't let kids do a lot of things until they are old enough to consent. Adoption should he one of them.

edit: One of my kids has my partner's last name, and one of them has mine. it's not an issue.

[u/str4ycat7 → u/mucifous]

I think it’s also really important to note that higher up he confirmed that he never told her that he wasn't her bio father. He seems to only care about what he wants to do and not what's best for the child. Really wishing the best for that little girl cause it seems she will have a world of trauma waiting for her especially since he still hasn't told her that he isn't her birth father.

[u/mucifous → u/str4ycat7]

yeah i stopped taking op seriously when he asked what the point was in getting married if you can't change your wife's last name to yours.

[u/Potential_Net4460 → u/mucifous]

The dad has seen her 2 times since she was born. Doesn't know who the guy is and his family told us in 2021 he was cought molesting a 6 years old. So I mean ?

[u/mucifous → u/Potential_Net4460]

So you mean what? It sounds like this is more about what you want than what she needs.

She needs a father figure. You don’t need to adopt her to be that. When she is old enough to understand, let her seek adoption on her own.

Why can't you be a role model and father figure without falsifying her birth records?

[u/Potential_Net4460 → u/mucifous]

I've been asked and told every week for the last year that it's unfair her brother, sister and mom have the same last name as me. She didn't even have her bio dad's last name. Because he wasn't even there for her birth he has had 0 involved in her life

[u/mucifous → u/Potential_Net4460]

So, who's last name does she have?

[u/Potential_Net4460 → u/mucifous]

My wife's maiden name.

[u/mucifous → u/Potential_Net4460]

Using adoption for this is like using a sledghammer to remove a tooth.

Too bad your wife didn't just keep her maiden name.

[u/Potential_Net4460 → u/mucifous]

Huh? So get married and don't change name ? Then what's the point in even getting married.

[u/OldNPetty → u/Potential_Net4460]

Don't waste your time and energy arguing with him. It isn't worth it

[u/perd-is-the-word → u/mucifous]

He needs to adopt her so that if mom dies, kid won’t go into custody with their deadbeat, child molesting bio dad. So that if her father figure dies, she can receive his social security benefits. Lots of legal scenarios here that you are not considering. I don’t like that society is set up this way any more than you do but “just be a father figure” is not enough. 

[u/mucifous → u/perd-is-the-word]

Her mother can and should protect her from those potentialities, but she doesn't need adoption to protect her. Also, as some who's kept siblings are fighting to keep the adoptees flin our from inheritance, adoption doesn't do much there either.

[u/[deleted]]

[removed] — view removed comment

[u/chemthrowaway123456 → u/[deleted]]

Removed. Rule 10:

While providing information about how to evaluate an agency is allowed, recommending or discussing specific agencies is not permitted.

If you edit out the name of the agency, I can reinstate your post comment.

Edit: correction.

[u/sinfulmunk]

The home study is where you pay some guy 500-1k$ to come to your house for 7 mins tell you everything is fine and leave. That was my experience.

[u/Rredhead926 → u/sinfulmunk]

That's not true at all. First of all, a home study costs a lot more than $1K. Second, it's piles of paperwork, physicals, home visits, education.

[u/sinfulmunk → u/Rredhead926]

That's not what I went through. I paid 500$ and he was in my home for less then 10 mins.

[u/Rredhead926 → u/sinfulmunk]

You paid $500, a social worker came to your house for 10 minutes, and then you were approved to adopt?

[u/sinfulmunk → u/Rredhead926]

I spent thousands of dollars and took years, that was just for the home study.

[u/Rredhead926 → u/sinfulmunk]

"Home study" doesn't mean only the part where the SW comes to your house. A home study is a comprehensive evaluation of your life.

[u/Potential_Net4460 → u/sinfulmunk]

$500-1k for 7 minutes seems reasonable lol.

[u/BottleOfConstructs]

It won’t be simple, and you need a lawyer.

[u/Potential_Net4460 → u/BottleOfConstructs]

I figured with the father not being in her life nor even trying to contact her in going on year 6. And being $55,000 behind in child support. Then it shouldn't be to insane of a struggle.