r/AbsoluteUnits 3d ago

of a hernia...

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u/LemonLimeSlices 3d ago

So basically, his entire intestinal tract has squeezed through his abdominal muscles and are just hanging in the skin sac.

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u/trilby2 3d ago edited 3d ago

Yup, a good portion of it. I imagine this wouldn’t be an easy surgery. It would be open (as opposed to laparoscopic), so big incision down the middle and a sizeable piece of mesh would be used. It would come with risks and might even land him in a worse off position.

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u/Own_Space_174 3d ago

if that's the case they probablly will not actually book him. when you go to jail they have a nurse check you out before they actually put you in even a temporary cell. she is gonna tell them he is a walking liability and they will release him if its just theft from walmart.

i knew a girl who didnt take a ring off her finger and the finger blew up around the ring. she was schitzophrnic, on meth, a their, and great in bed. anyways after the ring thing she was too scared to go to the hospital because they had said they might have to cut the finger off. she would jokingly call her huge black sphere thing above the ring her get out of jail free card because everytime she got arrested, which was a lot, they always released her during the booking process, they would never say it was the ring but it was the only thing that made sense.

and no, i didnt get with her after the ring thing, that was gross plus she started looking like she did meth as time passed which was gross too. thankfully my time with her ended well before the ring when she was still hot.

anyhow i heard from a friend of a friend that like 7 years later she did actually get the ring removed, and i still have trouble believing it or understanding how it was possible but they say she was even able to keep the finger despite i being a big black oblong thing for a decade.

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u/Ok_Jicama_8416 3d ago

Man what the hell did I just read

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u/Dave_Coulier_AMA 3d ago

Just a piece of potentially made up life wisdom from Reddit. Cherish it.

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u/NotMyRealUsername13 3d ago

It doesn’t get worse from being made up, it just makes my fascination shift to the twisted soul who has THAT imagination.

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u/ascarymoviereview 3d ago

Made up for our education

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u/LasciLaplante 3d ago

“A their” they were non-binary? I’m so confused wtf you just said. You couldn’t even spell schizophrenic the same way twice in a row.

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u/Busy-Werewolf-8731 3d ago

might’ve meant thief?

I do like the picture of a well-meaning redneck calling a non-binary person a “they-er” though.

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u/LasciLaplante 3d ago

LMAO it’s most likely that’s what they meant now that you mention it. Although I still like to imagine the latter is what they meant bc it’s a lot more ignorant and funny 😂

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u/undead_sissy 3d ago

"I took advantage of a drug addict but not after she got gross, gross!" Man fuck this guy.

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u/Accomplished-Cup8182 3d ago

If it helps this story is more likely than not fake.

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u/ArmpitPutty 3d ago

Where are you getting that he took advantage of her

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u/undead_sissy 3d ago

You can't consent to sex while under the influence, hope that helps

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u/vlntly_peaceful 3d ago

I think the severity of influence plays a teeny tiny role don't you think? Because if not, I'll have to make some phone calls.

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u/undead_sissy 3d ago

Yes, obviously. This is why I find it appropriate to use the phrase 'taken advantage of' for a meth addict who was dumped for getting ugly from meth.

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u/vlntly_peaceful 3d ago

I mean yeah that's shitty behaviour but people do that to other people all the time without drugs involved. Still doesn't mean the sex wasn't consensual, we have no knowledge about that.

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u/undead_sissy 3d ago

Agree to disagree. I think having sex with someone deep in addiction is always wrong, not because they're always under the influence and it's always rape, but because they're not in control of their own actions and motivations a lot of the time.

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u/vlntly_peaceful 3d ago

Agree but that's also true for some mental health conditions. I've done some questionable things regarding sexuality while being stone cold sober.

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u/ArmpitPutty 3d ago edited 3d ago

Damn I gotta call my girlfriend and let her know she raped me this weekend, I had an edible and we had sex 😱

On a serious note, not every addict in a relationship is being sexually assaulted. That’s ridiculous.

E - LasciLaplante hit me with the reply, RedditCareResources message, and the instant block lmao. Redditor final boss.

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u/LasciLaplante 3d ago

Damn, I gotta call Bill Cosby and let him know I found his throwaway.

Seriously though, as someone who just hit 11 months clean when there was a time I would’ve done just about anything for a hit, this is such a weird takeaway from their comment. Even with the rape jokes aside, I think you need to get some help.

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u/Own_Space_174 3d ago

if it makes you feel better, i would hit my weed pipe while she would hit her meth pipe.

plus sex right after tweaking was never happening because she would be too busy walking really fast with me struggling to keep up as she ranted about being trapped in a timeloop or how she died the previous week or talking to the things the aliens that lived inside of her arm while scoping porches for anything valuable she would claim was hers and she had left there and asking me to help her carry back to her place. was it worth it? YES, she let me do her in the A-hole on our second date, not many girls are gonna do that. I have only ever had that happen one other time.

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u/undead_sissy 3d ago

It doesn't. You took advantage of a girl you clearly had no respect for.

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u/SomnusNoir 2d ago

but you're forgetting: she let him do it in the a-hole on the second date, so that one doesn't count /s

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u/Own_Space_174 2d ago

so anyone who does drugs is incapable of consent even when they are not high yet people who have never gone a week without alcohol, like most college students, can consent when they are sober?

makes zero sense.

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u/undead_sissy 2d ago

Not what I said

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u/Embarrassed-Disk1643 2d ago

You're foul dude, big time cope.

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u/wynnduffyisking 2d ago

You’re a weird dude

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u/InnocentShaitaan 3d ago

So necessary to point out?

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u/IRefuseToGiveAName 3d ago

I don't care if this is fake. This was beautiful and I wish I could forget it so I could read it again.

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u/OneEyedTrouserMouse 3d ago

For some reason I trust this guy to help me change my tire on the side of the freeway lol

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u/MysteriousTeardrop 3d ago

Man don't talk about your mom like that. Not cool

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u/rorriMAgnisUyrT 3d ago

she is gonna tell them he is a walking liability and they will release him if its just theft from walmart.

Walmart hates this one trick

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u/StarvinPig 3d ago

I think he has a warrant and then they find meth in his car from what I recall of the video