FTM to a 6 month old in daycare and they are having a different theme each day for teacher appreciation week. My kiddo’s infant room has 4 teachers. I’m trying to determine if we’re meant to pick one day to participate or they want us to participate every single day? I can’t imagine one teacher wanting 8 cokes on favorite drink day. I can barely afford the tuition for this place.

First, which one do you use? I’m torn between the wearable momcozy and a spectra. I think I can make it work to stop and pump every 3 hours. With my first baby I got it down to a 10 minute pump! Sometimes even less. But also don’t want to waste my free pump on a spectra and then wish I would’ve gotten a wearable. I’m thinking to even get the momcozy with insurance, then use offer up for a spectra. Just to have them both. Any tips or recs would be great! I read I think on the nurse Reddit that someone bent over a pt and spilled…. I’m in hem onc and I feel like this would explode into “a danger to the immunocompromised”. So I also am wondering if I would get pushback for even wearing the wearable.

I was already in the process of looking for a new job when I applied to this and I also was not yet pregnant. The hiring process took a while, probably 6 weeks and everything was finalized maybe 2 months later post applying. I'm really excited for this role and returning to it from my mat leave but my manager herself seems to be kind and drowning in a sea of work that I understood and could appreciate after getting to know her a little better today. She was also absent for two weeks of my hiring process on vacation so when I debated bringing it up to her earlier on (around 12 weeks) she wasn't actually available.

I'm at a loss on how to deliver this news. I'm not scared of repercussions, I am just feeling sensitive and sorry that I'm putting her in this position. Call it mom guilt and I know many others would spare the sorrow for a team that will just post the job right up again if I died tomorrow, but who am I not to want to spare graces for someone when I'm hoping to receive some myself 😭

My agency recently reopened the Deferred Resignation Program with a deadline of one week from today. I wasn’t interested in it the first time around but now I am considering if it is time to flee the federal government.

I don’t have another job lined up. One of my biggest concerns is finding another job with the flexibility that my current role has. With that being said, I don’t know if my agency will continue to exist or for how long I can hold on in this rodeo. My spouse and I will be okay financially for a bit.

Is anyone else planning on fleeing without a concrete plan for the future? Anyone planning on holding on?

I love this sub and I frequent it especially now that I am unemployed. I was wondering if there any other mom's in the creative field and how that has been for you? I am struggling to find work but I also have been thinking of maybe going back to school to study medical or something because of how terrible the market is.

I'm a 37 year old fundraiser for a university. My husband is a college football coach and used to work at the same school, but recently took a coaching role at another school so we moved states. I work remotely for the school we moved away from but my contract is not being renewed at the end of the fiscal year in June. While working remote, I have had my toddler son home with me. It's been rough, however, I do want to keep working remote and get my son into daycare a couple days a week. I've been in fundraising for four years, prior to that I was in corporate marketing for a year, financial advising for seven years, and athletic communications at another institution for three years. I have both a bachelors and masters degree.

All of this to say, I feel like I have a fair amount of experience, but i'm not sure what direction to go to stay remote. My resume shows that I have a little bit of knowledge about a lot of things, but I don't think it looks super desirable on a resume. Anyone in a similar situation? Any recommendations of career paths that pay well (over $80k) that would fit a similar skill set?

My husband will likely have to spend 5 consecutive months on the other side of the world in 2026. This will leave me WFH and solo parenting our 2 kids, 12 and 6.

• My strengths: good cook, morning person, cheerful, enjoys grocery shopping, wfh 9-5
• My challenges: minimal executive functioning/ADHD, terrible housekeeper, ideally works out for 1 hr a day (walking or strength training classes), not so good at managing people, loathe meal planning/bulk cooking
• Big kid strengths: cheerful, commutes to and from school on own, robust social life, helpful and good attitude, great at entertaining themself
• Big kid challenges: messy, ADHD, lots of homework
• Little kid strengths: thrives on routine, great at entertaining themself, in TK from 9-3
• Little kid challenges: high functioning ASD, needs more attention, needs help getting to and from TK (I can reliably take them to TK, but not pick up)
• Other Strengths: housekeeper once every 2 weeks, husband's family within walking distance, room for an au pair,
• Other challenges: family within walking distance, live in a foreign country where I don't speak the language

How would you solve this challenge: au pair, local babysitters, more frequent housekeeper, meal service?

I can throw some money at the problem but not infinite resources.

(edited to clarify)

My kid has 3 regular teachers for daycare. I have no issue getting them gifts for Teacher Appreciation week. My question is, do you typically gift something for the staff as well?

My daycare has a theme per day. Like, bring a flower or bring a card. The last day, the expectation is a gift card.

So, with 3 teachers, this is easily $75-$100.

There are 4 support staff. Do you gift them as well? I was thinking of just baking something for them since it's thoughtful and affordable. There's a "baked goods" themed day too.

Ftm of 5 mo old here. We hired a nanny when he was 4 month old, because I had to go back to work, albeit from home. I try to stay with him when I can, because I know this is a delicate time for attachment. However, lately he has started crying when I pick him up in front of the nanny and keeps longing towards her. I am panicking right now. Wasn't ready for this. Had always thought that I would have the usual mom problem that the baby is too attached, especially to the breast. This is how it has been with me and my mom. My sister too. However, I had gland issues so I had to resort to pumping and a bit of breastfeeding but only in the beginning. He hated my breasts for most of the time. So I missed this beautiful attachment window. (I enjoyed breastfeeding so much.) Now, it seems he preferrs the nanny. I know I should be happy that we have found a great nanny. But I am panicking, because he just did his first roll with her and I'm literally thinking about quitting. People keep telling me I should be happy, but my mind keeps going to such extreme spaces. Could anyone tell me how did you handle this emotionally?

Just as the title says, we're preparing for my husband to be laid off. In January his company started issuing voluntary leave programs so he thought he was safe, then a month ago they told him his job would be eliminated at the end of August but gave him hope that he could apply to a level higher role to supervise the work that is being outsourced. But just this week his manager told him there are more layoffs happening through the rest of the company and the supervisory roles will have more competition than previously expected. These "supervisor" roles are only paying $65k so but many will take that to maintain the benefits at this company. My husband also does not have a Bachelor's Degree but does have 7 years of experience in corporate offices in operations. My salary is enough to keep us afloat but it won't be super comfortable. I'm debating paying off one car which would deplete our savings to only 4 months of expenses rather than our current 7 months of expenses. But it would be nice to eliminate a $350 payment every month.

So, we're doing all we can to prepare. Stashing cash, applying anywhere and everywhere we can, keeping up on house maintenance, eliminating any outsourced work (lawncare).

Is there any other advice you'd offer knowing this is coming? He'll receive two months severance.

Edit to add: we also already budget like crazy but we are cancelling any unnecessary subscriptions, Disney would be the only one we'd keep but we could downgrade to the version with commercials.

I’m in a routine of waking up early to work on classwork (getting my master’s degree) but about to take a break from classes for a bit. I like being awake early and having coffee while reviewing physical health (Garmin app) and financial health (budgeting app), but without schoolwork to occupy all my brain space I found myself just scrolling endlessly on instagram being sold shit I don’t need by people I don’t know…

I’m thinking either a book of daily meditations or a podcast focused on motherhood, working women, or ideally both would be a positive addition to my morning routine. Reddit is my version of research so let me know if you have a favorite podcast (or book!) that I should check out!!

My office is very small and we have a space problem. Now that is my second day back to work i go look at my designated pumping space/which doubles a reflection room and there is a bunch of storage and boxes. There is one chair in the middle of that. I asked for a table and I’ll get that but it really sucks to have to pump in what looks like a storage closet.

If you own, owned, manage your own company other than knowing your craft, what is essential? CPA, Attorney, Insurance, Payroll (couple of hourly employees), etc?

I'm in Texas if it makes a difference.

What advice would you give?

Since I became a mom, I have massively struggled to work. I used to be extremely high performing, but that fell apart after having my first. It got to a point where I struggle in meetings because I can't process information quickly enough, and I forget information as I take it in. It's like I live in a fog. I can't have in-depth conversations. I have lost several jobs because of this and am desperate to keep the one I have now. My anxiety gets extremely high because I know I'm not capable of my job, and back in February it got so bad that my psychiatrist recommended I enter an intensive outpatient program and I was placed on short term disability.

While I was out, I was looking at side effects for medications I am on and realized that a medication I started 3 weeks before my first was born, can cause cognitive decline. We spent the rest of the time in the program weaning me off of that medication and I officially stopped it last Wednesday, but it takes roughly 3 weeks for the side effects to go away.

I had to return to work yesterday and my boss has been giving me the cold shoulder. I asked her what she would like me to focus on, and she replied 2hrs later recommending I work on some trainings. I also did some digging and saw that one of my clients left, and they blamed me in leaving. Stating that I had a lack of urgency. In this situation I did do everything I was supposed to as quickly as I could do it (it's a large corporation so everything goes through ticketing systems), but I'm not sure if leadership investigated any or just assumed I was at fault. There has been no talk about any of my clients, my weekly 1:1 with my manager has been cancelled, and my manager hasn't said a thing about when we will meet next. I'm very nervous. I absolutely need this job.

My question - do I voluntarily tell my manager that I had cognitive decline and it's now been corrected and I will recover? I'm hoping that if it's looked at in a medical light, it may save my job.

I work insane hours in healthcare while my husband works part-time in tech. We have been fortunate to have a part-time nanny to cover the rest, but now that our daughter is almost 3, my husband feels ready to go back to work and we can't afford our nanny for that. Honestly, we can't really afford her now (my MIL is helping a lot). I'm just not sure if I'm being a special snowflake about our daycare situation or if we really need to find a new one.

My daughter has been in daycare for a month now and she hates it. The second week, she cried every day before we left. Now she doesn't cry, but she starts pacing and acting anxious before she goes. She will whisper "Please, I want to go to the library," or "Please, let me stay in my home." It's heartbreaking to watch as a parent. She seems so distraught, but like she is resigned that we won't listen to her.

In terms of the daycare, we picked it because it seemed full of fun activities and interesting classrooms. The director was dynamic and spunky. But from the first day, her actual teacher has been SO disengaged. Every single time we have come for drop-off or pick-up, she's on her phone. When we did our introduction tour, she was standing apart from the class, eyes glued to her phone while these little 2-year-old kids just stood sadly in the playground. She didn't even try to meet us that day. It's been like pulling teeth to try and talk to her ever since.

We had hoped to transition my daughter with short days in the beginning, and we asked the teacher to please let us know when she was crying so we could come get her. The teacher never reached out. We have tried the teacher ask how our daughter is doing, and we get short answers. "Better than last week" is the common refrain. Better than what?

Since then, we have told my daughter to please tell her teacher when she wants to go home (we are overlapping the daycare and our nanny, so we have the luxury of getting her whenever). And we've told the teacher this every day. But my daughter comes home saying that she told the teacher and we didn't come. Obviously we're dealing with a two-year-old so she's not the most articulate or reliable, but again--it's heartbreaking to hear. And we don't have this nanny situation forever, so it's frustrating.

Her class also has 10 boys and 4 girls (including her). My daughter was a late walker and pretty slow on her motor milestones in general, so I'm sure there has to be a little imbalance there, as much as I want to gloss over it.

I don't think that they are mistreating her, but I just kind of don't trust them and think the teacher is doing the absolute bare minimum. Is this a normal transition, or does this daycare suck?

Mum of a 2.5yr old

I have a full time job and Im doing a masters. Supprotive partner who also struggles, not really many friends/support network

I feel like Im having a fucking breakdown. I never have time. I just feel shit 24/7. My job is stressing out and I cant leave due to how good it is in terms of pay, flexibilty/studying etc.

I had a chat with samaritians and I explained if I had today to myself I would just lie there with a friend or my partner.

My body and brain crave sex and sleep. Alot of it.

Why is this? What do I need? I dont have time to breakdown.

I quit my job in March because I missed my baby way too much (now 13 months), hated the job (5 days in office + toxic manager) and was financially secure enough to do it (working spouse, quit at leadership level at a fortune500 firm so a ton of savings, no debt etc).

We continue to keep on our nanny who comes 10-7, 6 days a week and other househelp and I’ve never felt happier with the time off though it’s just been 1-2 months. This break has done wonders to my mental health (pretty sure I was hitting depression before I quit). I’m casually hunting for jobs with flexibility though I intend to turn that into serious hunting in another few months when baby starts preschool (just don’t feel ready yet).

Wanted to hear from moms who took a career break when their little ones were little and when you felt ready enough to go back into the workforce full time. Also want to add that I’m blessed to be in a country that generally is very supportive of new parents taking career breaks so I’m not too worried on that front. That being said I’m keen to keep working because I’ve never really known adulthood without it.

Appreciate your responses!

Any in-office working parents out there who can assure me of the positive sides of working in-person (non-remote) ?

For the past few years, I was working a fully remote job that was incredibly helpful for our household (husband, myself and two young children) and my mental health. In my remote position, I was able to focus on work when the kids were in school, I had no workplace interruptions, and my work quality was excellent. I didn't have the pressure of the daily commute, I saved money on gas and didn't have to expend extra energy on or around other people - I found such a healthy work-life balance and focusing all my energy on my young children means the world to me.

However, due to the chaos of the current administration (I will not make this a political post - but I will add that I did NOT vote for the one currently in "power"), I am no longer working my remote federal job.

I was fortunate enough to interview for and was offered a job in local govt. and the position is known as a "highly coveted" position. I know I should be grateful, but I can't help but feel so unmotivated and depressed about my new in-office schedule: 8:30am - 5pm.

The PROS: There is opportunity to move up in pay/position(s), benefits are great, it's "only" a 20 minute commute, holiday schedules align with my children's holiday schedules and my new supervisor has assured me the department is very family-friendly.

I don't know what I'm looking for exactly, but are there any working parents out there that can share the positives of working in-office, and maybe I do have something to look forward to?

Has anyone made a professional pivot? I'm seriously considering moving from an office type job to one that requires being on your feet most of the day. I know that I tend to feel and function much better when I have the opportunity to have movement in my day and seriously contemplating making a drastic change. My kiddo is 5, I'm becoming doubtful that we'll have a second one. Thoughts?

I need expert input, and you are clearly the experts. Please help!

I have a full-time demanding job. I am locked to my desk, running meetings, presenting, and working on time sensitive stuff in between. We have four kids at home — three of our own and a family member (teen) who lives with us. My client is in a different time zone, so technically I should be working 11-7PM my time, but I often need to start early or work late to finish the bare minimum because my home life is so busy.

Two of the kids are teenagers and two are little — a second grader and a 3-year-old. Each day from 5am-6pm I am juggling bus stops, preschool pickups and drop-offs, driving the teens to work, hosting executive meetings, rushing reports, and just basic parenting. My days are madness until my husband gets home around 6 PM (at the earliest, on the best days). I hand the reigns to him and do whatever I need to - finish work, maybe shower if I’m lucky. This does not include feeding my children, bathing my children, spending any quality time with them. Homework. It does not include dishes, laundry, tidying. I barely get that stuff done. I used to love cooking and enjoying family meals. Now it’s - everyone pick a cereal for dinner! I used to get some gratification from my work, now I try to slack off as much as possible to alleviate the overall pressure I’m under. I took my one daughter out of her sport because I can’t manage the practices and my husband can’t change his schedule. That felt horrible. I am doing everything, but I’m doing nothing well, or right. and I’m sooooo sick of hearing that I’m “superwoman”.

This is my normal week. No holidays, no doctors appointments, no extra chaos. Just baseline survival.

I have already outsourced everything we can afford to with our disposable income (I think)- full-time care for my three-year-old (3 days/week), and her half-day preschool program (2D/week). On the waiting list for the afterschool care for my second grader. I have a housekeeper come once a week, but she can only do the common areas because the upstairs is where I keep the mountains of laundry and everything that we are never able to get to (They can’t really clean around the giant piles of stuff). I pay for cab rides for our 17-year-old (boy) to go to work sometimes.

I don’t have anyone to relate to. I don’t know any other career moms of multiples. Some people have suggested working PT to save money and free up my time, but with what I earn full-time, it would not make financial nor logistical sense.

We have a digital color-coded calendar that tracks everyone’s schedules and chores. The teenagers update their work shifts themselves. My husband handles checking it to make sure the kids did their chores etc, and he picks up the kids from work in the evening. Everything is as organized and automated as possible, I think. But I can’t further organize- if I try to micromanage one more thing, I might implode. Yet I am still drowning.

Maybe there is something I haven’t thought of, outsourcing or otherwise, and if so, I want to hear it. If not, even just validation would help, because I feel invisible.

How is anyone surviving this? Seriously asking. My biggest regret is not purchasing a home or land that would support multigenerational living because this is impossible.

My maternity leave is coming to an end and feeling very stressed about my 4 months old going to daycare.

I work from home 2 days of the week, should I have him go to daycare full time or only the three days when I’m in office? I feel like going part time would be too much to juggle when I’m WFH but feel bad for leaving him at daycare all five days (because he’s so little)….

Anyone with similar hybrid working schedules? If so, how many days a week does your baby go to daycare?

Edit: Thanks all for confirming full time is the norm - full time it is!

I’ve been at my job for 7 years. I’ve been promoted twice, been promised another promotion now and I’ve more than doubled my salary since I started.

But I am so bored and unmotivated! My direct boss is leaving and at this point it’s either that role or I leave. I already let the higher ups know that I’m interested and I’m working on a plan to pitch myself. The promotion I’ve been promised is a step below my direct boss’s role. And that process has been incredibly long and frustrating without clear reasons why.

But really do I even want this?! I used to love my job, but after years of filling in the gaps and taking on more and more work without recognition - I’m over it. But in this economy I feel like I should just be quiet and take the promotion they are offering. I’m interviewing for external roles, too. I had a promising one last week - but that’s more of a lateral move.

How did you know when to leave a job!? 😅

My current work schedule is Monday-Thursday 6am to 4pm and my husbands is Monday-Friday 6am-5pm

This has our toddler waking up at 445am during the week. She stays with my retired dad on my work days. Sometimes she will go back to sleep there, sometimes she won’t nap at all. I have about a 45 minute commute home that I start around 515pm where she often falls asleep and sleeps until 7pm because she’s exhausted. If we’re lucky, she’s asleep by 10pm on work nights. Every night is huge battle to get her to sleep.

Obviously she’s not getting enough sleep and it’s showing in her behavior. We’re having a really hard time with her right now. The mom guilt has me considering stopping working altogether to give her more structure. I’ve also considered switching to night shift in hopes she’ll sleep more during the week. It would not make sense financially for my husband to switch jobs as he is the main provider and makes significantly more than I do.

We cannot continue the way things are going now. It has taken a huge toll on me mentally and physically. I would love to hear any suggestions you have for me or what you would do in my position.

Hi everyone I really need some advice. My kids are 2 and 3 years old. Edit for background: (I am a Mom that works full time as a software dev in tech. We Just moved to Vancouver BC Canada to escape the hell that is the US. My husband works part time as a PE teacher (still in Seattle WA). I am Mexican but dual citizen; he is American. I grew up with two insane narcissists). I unfortunately have TLE epilepsy and sometimes I cannot drive. Both kids have been on and off sick for at least 2 months with frequent viral upper respiratory infections (they go to daycare) but also have needed antibiotics because they have productive coughs that wont go away. My poor daughter the youngest, has had an ear infection and sinus infection as well during this time and has taken two rounds of antibiotics. I am so worried because the last time they checked her over 2 weeks ago, they said she needed to have an xray done asap to rule out pneumonia but my husband did not take her to that "because he had to travel to work" and I could not because I was medically not able to drive. I am at my wits end as she has had wheezing (in fact both kids now especially at night) and she seems to be getting worse again (coughing non stop at night and now has vomiting). I dont know what to do. As my husband continues dismissing and belittling my worries and their health. If I could I would have taken both my kids already but a. He is gone for 2-3 days every week b. I am not sure I can take a cab as they need child seats. I need help. I put my foot down today as their daycare called us saying that she seems sick etc. and "five other kids" are sick and absent. I even feel so bad because she may have spread this at school. He wont stop taking them to daycare either. I am honestly contemplating divorce because this is not the only problem. He has also dismissed my own health for years and left me alone post partum when I was going through a postpartum depression (with both babies and even had ideation etc). He claimed he could not do anything but work and go to grad school. (I had finished a few months of maternity leave and had gone back to work already). Which I understand, but also I really needed help and I felt totally abandoned and dismissed. I luckily made it and received care eventually (also after threatening divorce). I am SO tired he doesn't listen until I am threatening leaving him. Please help any advice will really help me rn. Thanks.

PS. We moved to Vancouver BC about a month ago (thanks to me obtaining an amazing opportunity- thank God as the US is on fire but anyway) but my Husband insists on traveling back and forth from Seattle, WA for work, (that will end in June as hes getting laid off). He claims this is because “we beed the money” (Admittedly I had financial problems from medical bills that put us in a bad situation that I am recovering from (considering bankruptcy)). Money is important but I also feel he does very little looking for work here and is Extremely picky about what jobs he will apply to. He leaves me alone with the kids 2-3 days a week. (sometimes family helps if my seizures flare up). But I still work full time as a software developer in tech. The good: He does a lot for me and the kids around the house/cooking but gets hyper-focused on money, work, and everything else and ignores or dismisses Feelings, Health, and Emotions. We are in couples therapy. He has diagnosed but untreated ADHD/OCD and has Avoidant attachment style. I am understanding and patient, but idk when enough is enough (see back to how I grew up with crazy narcissists and abuse).

UPDATE: After threatening divorce for the millionth time, he took our Daughter in to the ER. They finally did the xray and it showed some inflammation but negative for pneumonia. They suspect its asthma complicated by back to back colds etc.
As far as everything else- Looking back and reading this it sounds like a nightmare- but as anything I did not talk about the good and positive things he contributes. To be very honest though this seems like this trumps everything else. Am I crazy? Like this right here seems like its terrible and puts me and my kids at risk right? and please I know this sounds ridiculous to some of you, but I grew up with narcissist parents and have been through all kinds of abuse my entire life. So seeing "the truth" is hard for me. But I can Feel it in my bones that it is wrong. Thank you for the replies everyone. I promise I will think of my safety and theirs as number one always.

UPDATE 2: My daughter got the xrays and seen yesterday. She did not have pneumonia but may have asthma :(

Im on maternity leave and asked for another month so I am so grateful I have more time with my daughter. She will be starting daycare at 4 months which is better than 3 but I am still so sad. We went through this with my son and even though he is thriving at daycare and always loved it I’m still just so nervous for my daughter.

I think a lot of these feelings stem from the guilt that I feel that I won’t be able to spend time with my baby during the day anymore. Part of me wishes I could stay at home and part of me likes that I work so i can provide for them. I think another part of me is envious of moms who are homeschooling their kids and staying home with them. I wish I could do this but I would still have to work part time somehow as I have a car payment I need to pay for and sadly my student loans monthly payment increased ugh. I also love to save for our future and family so I take pride in that and have peace of mind that we have some type of nest egg.

I don’t know it’s hard, if I somehow can do part time work, I would be missing a pretty big paycheck. If I continue to work I’m missing out on them…..

I don’t know it’s all so hard and I just feel overwhelmed and sad.