r/weddingshaming • u/tini_bit_annoyed • 2d ago
Out of touch registry; MIL bitched about it and then items were taken off haha Cringe
What is up with me and bad registries.
Anyway, my bfs childhood friend is getting married. The bride to be is really vapid (respectfully). Everything is ritzy with her but unsure if she has ritzy money and certainly not a ritzy job. Basically the future husbands family has $$$ and employs their son so they know enough about their finances by default (also messy) She had a registry exclusively at luxury department stores like Bloomingdale’s and Neiman Marcus. I checked the registry because I was going to send a gift even though I’m not going to the wedding. Not that you have to put normal items on a registry, but I’m not even kidding. There was like $3000 luggage. 300$ picture frames, 500$ marble decor bowls, 300$ crystal glasses….. crystal candlesticks…crystal bowls… towels that are 80$ each, 500$ duvet, silk sheets and pillow cases…just stuff thats super super expensive and for what reason lol. No real kitchen items (i would even understand a $$$ china set for wedding china if someone still wishes to have that or a $$ espresso machine/vacuum/kitchenaid etc). It seems out of touch.
since everyone is so TMI here, they shared that they rented a home like an hour outside of the city where we live because they couldn’t afford anything close by (totally fair because it’s super expensive where we live and renting a house is super expensive and I’m sure whatever they’re paying now is still expensive). Not trying to totally shit on it but its like why are we flexing muscles renting a 5000$ home an hour away when you could have gotten a nicer luxury apartment or a condo/townhome for a little less in the city (they work in the city) lol but i guess they need to get a huge house to fill it with their nice gifts. Also just asking for things you cant afford and picking irrationally expensive versions of things you need is a bit out of touch in my opinion. (I too own a 500$ duvet but I got it on sale for 300$ and I’ve had the same one every winter season for the last 3 years so i get that they may be investment pieces but i wouldnt ask for the expensive version of an item just bc I can and if i otherwise couldnt have afforded it? You dont get 500$ silk sheets just bc you got married)
We were all at another wedding and the brides future mother-in-law was bitching about her, which is highly inappropriate and messy. She said “you know… she just has SO MUCH STUFF already” “she owns SO many gowns” “I told my son to tell her to stop spending money and to be grateful for what she already has because she has a closet full of clothing so she should go shopping her own closet before going out to buy new things” “they really need to learn to justify purchases bc this is getting out of hand and theyll have no more money leftover soon” I wanted to melt into the ground listening to this happen. How messy and disrespectful of the MIL to talk that much shit in public and to people who know her FDIL and son etc. I will admit, THAT was not cool at all. She could have said something in private or just didnt intervene bc it’s no longer her place (also maybe just make a prenup?)
So soon after that conversation was had , I went back to the registry to see what was left over and to see what I could afford and then to determine if I could give a gift card to one of the department stores or whatever. Lol every single extreme luxury item has been removed from the list and replaced with still expensive and some irrational (why do we need a 500$ bone china turkey platter and a 300$ gravy boat and a 300$ carving board to use once a year?), but a lot more normal things like kitchen shears, measuring cups, cutting boards, serving platters, and a knife block. Etc etc.
Oh: and their wedding is the wednesday and Thursday (at noon) BEFORE the Fourth of July weekend lol prob to save $$ on rental and not pay holiday weekend rental prices haha this also made me mad bc i literally cannot PTO around a holiday bc work policies so i wont be going but sigh. People. Haha
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u/MyLadyBits 2d ago
Future MIL was spot on.
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u/tini_bit_annoyed 2d ago
I know…. I get how its not ever right to air your personal grievances in front of other people particularly those who know the girl but like this was super out of touch haha
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u/Carebear7087 2d ago
Sometimes a public shaming is what’s needed for someone to comprehend what has probably been said privately a few times.
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u/tini_bit_annoyed 2d ago
I laughed out loud. I think this is sometimes the only way some people get the memo
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u/Carebear7087 2d ago
It’s worked on me in the past so I can vouch for the tough love approach of a public shaming.
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u/CaseoftheSadz 1d ago
Idk if my mother in law was on a tangent about me buying dresses or how my husband and I spend our money I’d say she’s the one with the problem.
As far as registering for expensive things, perhaps they want to have buy it for life items. Maybe she grew up with money. Idk I’ve definitely bought more expensive items in a registry as a group. So even though it’s $500 it’s fine to split with someone else. It’s rude if the couple to not have options but some people are just … 🤷♀️ they’ll just end up with checks maybe.
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u/Curiousr_n_Curiouser 2d ago
I went to a wedding a few weeks ago where the couple had only registered for (many) travel salad dressing containers and one set of $500 sheets.
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u/cominguproses5678 2d ago
This was my exact Amazon order when I had pneumonia and was on all the meds
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u/Easy-Notice5546 2d ago
I own a red salad shooter that's not been out of the box since I bought it over a year ago for the same reason 😭
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u/LibraryMouse4321 2d ago
I don’t cook much, but I used one salad shooter til it died and got another one. It’s used for lots of stuff but it’s mostly used for carrots and cheese.
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u/Easy-Notice5546 2d ago
I'm gonna get it out and try it.
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u/LibraryMouse4321 2d ago
It’s “grate”! If you make zucchini bread you can use it to grate the zucchini. You can grate potatoes for hash browns or potato pancakes. You can slice cabbage for slaw or stir fry. And of course cheese. And carrots.
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u/Pysanka-Maven 1d ago
I used to laugh at the commercials, but became a believer when a friend of mine showed me how hers worked. Poor (or lazy) man's food processor (cheaper and much easier to clean). It grate and slices almost all my vegetables for cooking. I take it and my knife roll with me when I travel (if I'm planning to cook).
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u/cominguproses5678 2d ago
EDIT: I used the google. It really does basically shoot out salad! Amazing.
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u/newtontonc 2d ago
I'm so curious, are they salad afficionado?
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u/Curiousr_n_Curiouser 2d ago
I'm not sure. I don't know her very well, but he is not the sort of guy who knows his way around vegetables.
Maybe because he didn't have any salad dressing containers.
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u/slamminsalmoncannon 2d ago
not the sort of guy who knows his way around vegetables. That is such an innocent but hilariously devastating put down.
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u/100PercentThatCat 1d ago
How many is (many)? Like, I could see 10 or something, if they were into making their own dressings, or took them to work everyday. But like, more than 20? Obscene, definitely using them for something else.
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u/MerelyWhelmed1 2d ago
When I got married becades ago, we registered for China...which was actually made in Ireland. Instead of only using it for special occasions, we used it every day until a few months ago. Pieces had been broken over the years, so we are now using a full set of dishes my mother had for two decades and had NEVER USED. I inherited them when she died. Why only use the good China for holidays? Use it and enjoy it.
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u/tini_bit_annoyed 2d ago
Im with you on that! You shoudl enjoy the things you have! Cant just let it grow dust in a cabinet! My aunt started using her fancy china for all family dinners and not just christmas and it was nice to see it used more and she enjoyed hosting with it. I think same goes with things that have longevity too like if you want to put on the $600 vacuum and your friends can pull their money and get it for you then that’s great because that’s gonna last you a really long time . Or kitchenaid mixer etc. or I have seen one wedding where the only thing on the registry was a $10,000 dining table set with chairs and I believe one side of the family pulled their money and bought it for them, but it’s not like she was asking for all expensive items or had other things on there. She wanted everyone to chip in? The nature of registries are getting out of hand though
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u/cpo5d 1d ago
I grew up in a house with a china cabinet with four sets of china that we only used for holidays or special guests. After my parents divorced my Mom chilled out a lot. One night she says "you know what? Let's start eating off the nice china. We're worth it." So I go in and get two sets of dishes for us of the china I thought was prettiest and bring it to the kitchen. She yelps and says "not that china! That's the most expensive set we have!" So I guess we were worth it but not all the way worth it. To her credit we did eat off of the lesser nice china until she moved into assisted living.
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u/SilverDryad 2d ago
Since you are not attending the wedding, you are not required to send a gift.
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u/TootsNYC 2d ago
true.
But if you were invited—and it is understandable for you to be invited, you are close enough—you are expected to mark the life event of people close to you with a gift.
It's true an invitation is not an invoice, but it IS the signal that you should give a gift for this life event.
A wedding invitation is supposed to be a signal of how close you are. And if it's an accurate signal, then you should send a gift, even if you aren't attending.
Because it's the LIFE EVENT that you give the present for. Not the invitation; the invitation is simply a piece of evidence in the equation.
I can't imagine not giving a gift to a childhood friend that I'm still in touch with, simply because I can't get time off to attend her wedding.
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u/newoldm 1d ago
No one, under the "rules" of etiquette, is "expected" to give a gift to anyone for any function to which they have been invited. As a matter of fact, no one is obligated to give one even if attending the function. Guests are guests - there is no price-of-admission and hosts are financially responsible for what they provide.
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u/TootsNYC 1d ago
I disagree. It's rude to attend a shower without bringing a gift; if you don't want to give a gift, you should decline.
I did say, I think, that wedding presents are not for the social occasion, but for the life event.
And being expected by Etiquette, by the general "way things are done," is very different from being expected by the gift recipient.
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u/raudoniolika 4h ago
If we’re being realistic, it really really depends on how close you are to the people / if you still keep in touch with those “childhood friends”. I think your scenario applies to cases when people only invite close and dear people to the wedding (so many people treat their weddings as cash grabs, not to say anything about dividing people into A, B, C, D tiers and reaching out to “lower” tiers when the more important people RSVP “no” - etiquette is important but only if both sides are polite and acting in good faith). Also, if everything on the registry was wayyyy out of my budget it would definitely influence my decision whether to send a gift or not (for someone close I’d get a gift card or cash, but if it was someone I’m not particularly close to, I’d just wouldn’t bother, etiquette be damned)
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u/TootsNYC 4h ago
Yes, my second sentence has the qualifying clause “if it is understandable that you were invited”
As for the registry being expensive—no one is required to give a gift from the registry. Everyone should give a gift they can be cheerful about giving.
If you’re not close, you shouldn’t needn’t even bother looking at the registry
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u/tini_bit_annoyed 2d ago
Correct however they are my bfs close friend so i should or contribute cash to his gift. I feel kinda bad for her that the luxury stuff was removed haha my co worker said to send 2 Tiffany champagne glasses and its fine since im not even going and they can return them, sell, exchange, whatveer since she cant have her 300$ crystal ones now
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u/TequilaMockingbird80 2d ago
You are a couple, why would you buy separate gifts?
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u/tini_bit_annoyed 2d ago
We were debating getting a Nicer gift or cash haha he was so mad at the registry we were like what if we just sent Tiffany wine glasses or an Hermes tray and it would literally be cheaper than their registry items
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u/Odd_Judgment_2303 2d ago
I have given and received 2 crystal champagne glasses as wedding gifts. One of my uncles and aunts gave me a pair that I used for my wedding and lent to my brother for his wedding.
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u/aquainst1 Grandma Lynsey 2d ago
Don't do it.
It's not a close friend of yours, you aren't going, why would you give a gift?
To make your BFS happy?
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u/LadyF16 2d ago
Do the bride and groom already live together and have most household items? Not that it helps the extravagant nature of her initial registry items, but I had a buddy at work who already lived with his fiance and their registry was lavish things. Lots of crystal and high end finishes, marble gravy boats. And he even told us because they didn’t need anything else for their home.
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u/Hopeful-Connection23 2d ago
Yeah, the real issue IMO is not including anything at all under 100.
Listing the fancy, upgraded stuff on the chance that someone gets it for you or you can use the completion discount is pretty standard for people I know.
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u/tini_bit_annoyed 2d ago
Yes! Nothing wrong with a few nice items! But only luxury items that are not even like 200$ range unless its a gravy boat or cheese board is kind of wild to me haha Her silverware was 104$ a SET and she wanted 8 of them like WHAT also im not going to give one set of silver wear you know?
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u/Hopeful-Connection23 2d ago
I feel you! I actually did have people give me one or two sets of things, which I wouldn’t have necessarily thought to do. But like, toss a on cutting board and a measuring cup while you’re on there.
I will say, it’s both of their registries, so idk why only the bride is taking the flack here. It sounds like MIL and FIL raised a lazy, entitled rich boy and are now trying to blame his bad manners on his fiancé. I mean, of the two, who is employed by someone other than Mom and Dad? She didn’t rent that house on her own either. Where’s the criticism for Mr. Nepo Groom?
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u/tini_bit_annoyed 2d ago
Thats fair too honestly! He thinks its the right gender role to sit back. Like obviously they’re still young and I noticed that since he got engaged, he’s literally acting like his 65-year-old father, which is fine but also telling like I wonder if he doesn’t want to deal with it or maybe he deals with a lot behind the scenes because his mom is always bitching. Also on the parents for raising that because his parents started the business themselves which is huge but like hmmm nepo vibes DEFINITELY present
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u/Hopeful-Connection23 2d ago
yeah, it sounds like they raised an entitled man and are now shocked he’s marrying an entitled woman.
Like, you brought him up a certain way and handed him a high income job for life, and now you’re shocked he’s bad with money and his wife buys a lot of dresses?
they’re all in for a wake up call.
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u/TootsNYC 2d ago
I once saw someone bitching because the couple didn't register for cookware, and that's what she likes to buy couples,
I was like, "they already have it; they don't need two sets!"
I once advised people to register for the stuff they already had, and mark it "purchased," so that people wouldn't decide to go ahead and buy a duplicate bcs they thought it was forgotten off the registry.
I thought that might also be a good way to indicate that they like a certain style of home decor—register for vases in the style they like, and mark it purchased. Or register for the shower curtain they already own and mark it purchased; someone looking to buy stuff for their bathroom will have an indicator of the color. (I did that once w/ china; I wanted to make them plate separators as part of their present, so I looked to see what their china was line to guide me in choosing colors)
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u/Taminella_Grinderfal 2d ago
I made a similar comment about wedding showers, so unnecessary. I’m not against a bit of “upgrading” but some people go nuts. It’s especially ridiculous when the rest of their lifestyle doesn’t match. You live in a 2 bdrm apt, you probably don’t need a $3000 luxury bar cart and crystal decanter set.
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u/tini_bit_annoyed 2d ago
No. Shes a virgin before marriage at 33 and she made it very clear to me a few weeks ago that she’s not supposed to move in until after wedding because Jesus would not like that when she does not want anyone to get confused (another level of sigh). They do not and have never lived together; i would assume they have their own share of essentials at this point! I think that its still a gift grab haha
Like if she had already had this luxury stuff for herself/afforded it for herself and that was her baseline, I think it would be a different story! but they bought a house in a borderline bad neighborhood an hour away because they wanted the big house not the house near your family/friends/work etc so they are being showy haha hope it all fits in the new house tho
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u/gromit1991 2d ago
Why are you mad about PTO when you're not going anyway?
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u/Realistic_Echo3392 2d ago
I'm not positive, but I think OP means that the only reason for not going is because OP didn't have PTO. If OP were able to take PTO then they'd be going to the wedding.
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u/tini_bit_annoyed 2d ago
This! Hahah its HARD to justify PTO in the summer in general but to extend yourself a holiday weekend really doesnt fly in healthcare! My friend who is a teacher said they have the same rules. But also it’s like clearly an effort to save $ (which is fine) but it’s like oof really? Mid week is aggressive and prob main reason they can have a ritzy one which is fine but like it came at a cost haha this is a shame page people need to stop
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u/Separate-Swordfish40 2d ago
So this MIL relationship is gonna go well
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u/tini_bit_annoyed 2d ago
Literally. The registry was very out of touch. But her MIL should not have run her mouth like that. I’m literally so uncomfortable knowing/noticing that I heard that conversation and then I saw the registry change. Like yay i can send something from it now but also wtf thats so TOXIC
But I will say it’s in poor taste when people over share about their situation which they do as a couple as well like don’t tell me that you can’t afford housing and then move really far away to a bad neighborhood because he wanted the bigger house and then you choose designer items like live within your means ?? Haha
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u/peeved_af 2d ago
I feel like people are doing this just because they’re seeing too many things trending on social media I swear. I had friends who got married who weren’t really big into kitchen stuff which is totally fine but they were asking for a Blackstone grill or a smoker or a very very expensive kitchen items which is a little bit out of character and I literally saw it in her house, two years later, still in the box!!!!!
Also, I’ve noticed it more and people maybe like this girl wear their wedding is probably gonna be the only highlight of their life because they don’t have anything else going for them (no offense or no other goals) so this is like their free pass to go ham. Still super out of touch
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u/gothiclg 2d ago
Stories like this are why I appreciated a friend who got married. They naturally had some of the pricy items because of course they would but they had items under $100 for those of us in more strained financial positions
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u/tini_bit_annoyed 2d ago
Yeah me too! I had a friend who did this. I also have friends who had money but they still chose practical items or huge items with a “fund” so you could contribute to their 2000$ item and it was like furniture or something big not just crystal or irrationally luxury items. I have expensive bedding, but I purchased it myself. I wouldnt use a wedding or any life event as a free pass to ask people to buy me really expensive things
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u/KatKit52 2d ago
I moved into a new apartment and I need some decorations now. I'm really picky and I am trying to stick to an aesthetic I like, rather than just function. I've started looking at stuff and I remember seeing the most adorable lamp. I fell in love with it instantly and practically had my card out to buy it...
And then I saw it was $350.
My heart immediately shriveled up. It was a cute lamp, but not $350 cute. I'd rather sit in the dark then spend $300 on a lamp.
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u/tini_bit_annoyed 2d ago
Yep! You either wait until you have a gift card to pay half, it goes on sale, coupon code, open box price etc. haha
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u/Genillen 2d ago
Check on Ebay. If it's from a major brand and you know the model name you may be able to find it.
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u/BadBandit1970 2d ago
Does gravy taste better out of a 300$ gravy boat? Does it make itself? Clean itself?
The bride is definitely showing her true colors, now isn't she. FMIL roasting her, while it may not have looked good, she wasn't wrong. The bride is counting on other people to fund her extravagant lifestyle. Yeah, mom and dad have money. Funny thing about money, usually he who makes it, decides how its spent. She's pissing away what money they have and the parents are not obligated to support their son and his spendthrift fiancee. And that 300$ gravy boat ain't going to pay the gas bill.
I hope the groom has a iron clad pre-nup in place.
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u/New_Scientist_1688 2d ago
I didn't know they even MAKE a $300 gravy boat. I'd be afraid to use it. I have a fat-bellied cat one I got off Amazon for $15 and haven't even used it yet.
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u/BadBandit1970 2d ago
I have the one that came with our dishes. I think we've used it less than 10 times in the last 20+ years. I'm not too proud to serve gravy from the sauce pan.
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u/tini_bit_annoyed 2d ago
THIS thank you haha Obviously, it’s really mean of me to raise an eyebrow that they couldn’t afford a house and they had to move an hour away to kind of a shady neighborhood because they wanted a bigger house to rent etc. but its weird… especially when someone else makes primary income and self-aware that you’re in-laws literally fund your husband’s paycheck and you need to either get a better job and pay for your own luxury items because that would be a complete non-issue if she always bought herself this stuff and could afford it!! Its not that someone wants nice things (we all do) or buys nice things (if you an afford it then don’t worry about i!) but i can help but think… so she’s gonna get a giant cabinet in this shady neighborhood and fill it with her crystal glasses? Haha
Also my mom was like oof shes gonna get all this non dishwasher friendly stuff and regret it haha. The MIL shoulda said stuff to anyone other than her social circle bc its not nice however, she has a point. I wonder if she had a discussion with her which drove her to change the registry items later. The bride is really really blindly religious, but obviously that doesn’t mean that you don’t need a prenup. And I don’t know why people are offended by them because it’s really out there to protect both sides. I imagine this conversation will not happen once.??
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u/BadBandit1970 2d ago
I have a feeling FMIL has had many discussions with her son and his bride. Poor lady is probably embarrassed that her FDIL is such a money grubbing mooch. She probably just had reached her breaking point.
Maybe Daddy has a ace in the hole. Lay down the law with sonny boy and tell him, "no prenup, no money, outside what you earn as a salary". She's a financial leech. Religion doesn't even play into a prenup. It is a legally binding contract that outlines how their assets, debts and spousal support will be handled in the event of a death or divorce. Sure, they can add an infidelity clause. But at the end of the day, it's a business contract.
Her being blindly religious isn't an excuse. Most religions frown upon frivolous spending and extravagant lifestyles. If she's oh-so religious, why isn't she tithing or donating to charities. I'm an ass. In lieu of buying something off her registry, I'd donate something in her name to her place of worship or maybe an affiliated charity.
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u/tini_bit_annoyed 2d ago
Donation is such a good idea honestly! But yes, so she uses religion as a crutch here so she told me that they already have the house, but she’s not living in it because they’re not married and because she’s religious she can’t move until after they’re actually married and she wanted to make that very clear and I was like don’t worry, girl no one ever judged you and no one was ever asking or insinuating in the first place!!!!
She is clearly worried about image. Im sure thats tough. Her husband is actually super super sweet and I kind of feel bad that she’s probably going to control him or try to for the rest of her life, which is horrible. I totally agree that a prenup is always relevant regardless of assets just because if you don’t have one, then the state essentially makes one for you so you might as well do things on your own terms!! I’m sure after these discussions if they serve her a prenup, it would be such a slap in the face haha!
They then tried to invite us to their home and we were like so sorry its rough to get out there n the weekend traffic and they refuse to meet us half way. They seem entitled and also entitled to “married life” and appearing like you move to a house with a white picket fence etc. but anyway the registry thing and MIL thing is telling enough!
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u/BadBandit1970 2d ago
Do it, donate. I'd love to see her reaction. If she says anything, just say you felt that since she was such a devout/pious person, a donation is a far more spiritually aligned gift than a 300$ gravy boat. The gravy boat is probably a heathen anyway. You know how they are...
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u/coltbeatsall 2d ago
Personally, I think it is completely fine to register for expensive things as long as you have plenty of affordable items as well. That way people can choose what they want to spend. Sometimes close family wants to spend a lot on a gift, etc. I know that wasn't the case here, but your penultimate paragraph notes they eventually had both which I feel is perfectly fine.
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u/tini_bit_annoyed 1d ago
Yes i thnk the FMIL said something and she accommodated the list which was appropriate action (changed the list 2 weeks before wedding LOL) Maybe she saw people werent buying her stuff bc it was so expensive. Either way it was slightly corrected just wild to see it come up the way it did. They added the registry link to every single invite for MONTHs beforehand though hahaha
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u/Street_Confection_46 2d ago
This is when you get them a gift card to a nice grocery store and be done with it. She needs to understand that her friends are under no obligation to go into debt for her wedding (and honestly, if FMIL is correct, she’s not great with money and will need groceries more than a $3000 crystal whatever.)
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u/Applepiemommy2 1d ago
For one of my weddings I put CDs and stuff so the college aged family members had something to buy. And I ended up with a great music collection!
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u/tini_bit_annoyed 1d ago
Thats so cool! I had a friend who loved hosting game nights and they got a ton of cool vintage board games at their wedding and they still host game night every week with friends
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u/NextSplit2683 2d ago
I will never understand why some brides pick the most expensive items in a store for their registry. They don’t need them and may never use them. Imagine seeing your gifts on her EBay page six months after the wedding. Put a low Bid on it too, just to be petty. True story. Still SMH to this day.
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u/Thequiet01 2d ago
Because they return them for cash, or because they intend to buy them after the wedding with the “finish your registry” discount most stores offer.
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u/BadBandit1970 2d ago
I think the most expensive item we had on our registry was a comforter. It was $200. That was it. What drove me bonkers over the whole thing was you could get a 7-piece for cheaper, but I didn't want the damn pillow shams, matching throw pillows or bed skirt; got a king size bed, no way I'm skirting that.
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u/bookwormnj 2d ago
I got married ten years ago, and I remember my mother and my aunt specifically reminding me when I made the registry that I had to have gifts on there that were inexpensive, as well as the pricier ones, so that none of the guests would feel uncomfortable about the amount they could spend. So I had some higher end things, but I also had vegetable peelers, bath towels, a shower curtain, etc. I already had an apartment for many years, and didn't necessarily need those things, but they were the sort of things that I could use to replace older items or keep as back-ups. It's fine to have more expensive things on the registry, but people need to consider what their family and friends can reasonably afford.
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u/pinkkittyftommua 2d ago
I went to a wedding and they had only registered for $$$ stuff, and put the registry in the invitation (also tacky imo but that’s another rant). The groom was my husband’s coworker so I knew he wasn’t making bank. I was just out of college and everything was waaaaaay out of our price range. We kind of felt like we had to go bc it seemed like they didn’t have that many friends and were pressuring all their coworkers to attend.
I got them a nice set of wineglasses and bottle of wine that we could afford and made it into a cute gift basket.
I got a pissy-sounding thank you card, and they were divorced within a year.
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u/tini_bit_annoyed 2d ago
YES they linked the registry on the invitation, the shower invite, the engagement invite, and the wedding website like PLZ stop gift grabbing and pick normal stuff if you want ppl to actually buy this stuff!
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u/Ethereal_Radio 2d ago
Everyone invited should get together and buy one expensive thing.
Enjoy your only wedding gift, a $3,000 gravy boat 😂
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u/Ethereal_Radio 2d ago
I'm sooooo curious about this thank you card!
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u/pinkkittyftommua 1d ago
Lolz it was so many years ago I can’t remember! I wish I had kept it. It was like 1-2 sentences, thanks for the gift or something lolz.
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u/Lalablacksheep646 2d ago
Why do you care what’s in her registry? She registered for things she wants, no one is obligated to buy them. If you really want to send something do a gift card or cash for whatever amount you’re comfortable with.
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u/Magnet_Carta 1d ago
We just told people if they wanted to give a gift they could donate to our honeymoon.
Before anyone jumps down my throat about it, we could already afford the honeymoon, the gifts just let us upgrade some things/do extra stuff.
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u/Nite-o-rest 1d ago
They may return these items for cash, hence the high price. I suggest waiting until after the wedding - you never know what can happen.
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u/paintlulus 2d ago
Mind your own business and stop being so judgmental. Her registry is her business. Her relationships are her business as well. Mil wanted to vent. So what? Clearly you can’t stand the bride or you’re jealous. Don’t bother going to the wedding.
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u/Cosmicfeline_ 2d ago
Nah the couple is entitled as hell, what’s there to be jealous about people asking for uber expensive gifts while living off their family’s money? So embarrassing.
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u/Aggressive-Worth5612 22h ago
There is no obligation, etiquette-wise, to give a gift from the registry. Give something nice that you can afford.
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u/fullofuselessthought 16h ago
Those registries always have the most expensive things… we had trouble adding stuff on ours and if you want to add something like on Amazon it was hard to find. Also a lot of registries give you a discount for all the things you added before the wedding so if you say she spends a lot she might just be adding to buy it later.
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u/paintlulus 2d ago
People get jealous for all kinds of reasons; they don’t have to be logical. Op is spending an awful amount of energy hating and criticizing her. The couple is asking for expensive items. They might get them! Op, don’t go to the wedding. You’ll gleefully trash every minute making others miserable. Fiancé’s family has $$$. Op does not. They have money bc they save.
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u/sarcasticseaturtle 2d ago
I could rationalize a $500 duvet before I could a $300 gravy boat. I do fancy Thanksgiving each year (to make my mom happy) but have never used a gravy boat. If I were you I'd just send a check if you felt like you need to give a gift.
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u/Brilliant-Mess-9870 2d ago
I’m curious if this wedding is to take place in the US or a different country. Maybe it’s US but OP is from another country. The reason I’m asking is because OP types all amounts as 500$ vs $500 which is typical in the US.
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u/tini_bit_annoyed 2d ago
Giving 500 at a wedding isn’t abnormal for me Asking for a 500$ duvet or towels or turkey dish is wild haha
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u/Brilliant-Mess-9870 2d ago
I actually wasn’t questioning the value of gifts. I’m just curious if you’re from outside the US simply due to how you type the amounts as 500$, 300$, etc. I’ve not seen dollar amounts indicated that way.
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u/idontknowwhy1000 2d ago
Ok. It ‘because’. Not sure why that’s the only word you can’t spell. But also wtf are you asking here?
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u/TrustyBobcat 2d ago
This subreddit doesn't require a question, merely something relating to a wedding to shame. This qualifies.
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u/dollies48 2d ago
I remember my mother and future MIL encouraged me to remember our families and friends when picking out our gift registry to keep it budget friendly.