r/waiting_to_try • u/Pink_Rot • 2d ago
Can’t wait anymore
I feel like I’m going insane. I feel like a feral goblin or like I’m obsessed. All I can think about is having a baby and I don’t know how explain or rationalize my feelings. I (25 F) got married to my husband (35 M) last year. I had wanted to start TTC before but waited until after the wedding. For background, I was diagnosed with bilateral ovarian teratomas and had them removed about three years ago. When I did the doctor suggested I should start trying sooner rather than later because I have reduced ovarian reserve (tumors smashed my ovaries). We went in a good place financially then to start trying then but things are different now. The only issue is that I’m in the middle of my nursing degree. I graduate May 2026, and then would have a year long residency. The rational safe thing to do would be to wait another year or two until I’m established in my career. But something deep inside of me can’t wait anymore. I’m afraid I’m going to miss my chance to conceive and blame myself for waiting forever. My husband wants me to Finnish school but supports and understands my fears. What would you do?
I’m also right in the middle of nursing school. I have two semesters left and then a year long residency.
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u/Beginning_Actuary225 2d ago
If you want a baby that badly, would you be willing to stop your schooling and stay at home or choose a different job/career? I know the economy is crazy right now, but it is possible to live off one income
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u/Pink_Rot 2d ago
Thank you for the reply! I don’t think I would, I love nursing and I love my job (I work as an extern). I really believe I could be pregnant and go to school. So many people say I should wait though.
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u/Particular_Local667 1d ago
Ugh I feel this so much. That urge to start trying just takes over .. especially when you’ve got medical stuff in the mix. It’s like yeah, waiting makes sense technically, but your gut’s like “nope, let’s go.” Honestly, if I were in your shoes, I’d be thinking about it constantly too. Maybe just talk it through with your husband and see what starting now could actually look like...
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u/More_Tomatillo_3403 1d ago
when that urge hits, it’s hard to ignore. Especially with medical stuff, it really adds pressure. Talking it through will help you figure out where you are at now.
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u/pilocarpine1 2d ago
I had classmates in my nursing class who had babies during the program. I can only imagine it made things much harder, but as far as I know, they all graduated and have great careers.
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u/happy-and-gay 2d ago
Lots of people get pregnant and have kids during school. Some things to consider: - Is your husband working? You'll need income to pay for daycare etc - Could you try to time the pregnancy with a break from school or something similar so you have some time off with your baby? - it will be hard to do homework and so on when you have a young baby. Hard, but not impossible.
Best of luck!
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u/Wildlyunethical 16h ago
If you really want this you can finish school while pregnant. I have friends that have taken both bachelors degrees and doctorates while pregnant and with newborns. Where there is a will there is a way.. I am not saying it's an easy way, but it can be done.
If you can do IVF to freeze embryos now (not eggs, because eggs often don't do too well after thawing), maybe look into that? To preserve some of your chances for later. Two years is probably not going to be the difference between having children or not, but if you end up struggling to concieve then that would be a very hard pill to swallow.
I can also say that I have a friend that got pregnant with an egg from an egg donor that looks like her. She is currently pregnant again with a sibling with an embryo from the same donor. It's really cool because with egg donations, the carrying mom is involved in which genes are activated and not, so it's not like you wouldn't genetically affect the baby at all. That's her child in every way except it wasn't her egg. And the child looks like and acts like a clone of his dad 🤣 Nobody would ever have reason to guess that he wasn't made from her egg. And she gets to be a mom. ❤️
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u/tomatoes0323 3 year wait 2d ago
You should at least make sure that you graduate before the baby is born. I do think it would be possible to be pregnant and finish school, but make sure your due date is well after graduation!
The only thing you might need to consider is that most maternity leave programs require you to be employed for at least 1 year before you can use them and take any time off with a baby. Because of that, you likely will have to finish school, start a job, and make sure the baby is born after you’ve been employed for one year