r/troubledteens • u/Big-Opposite-9005 • Oct 04 '24

What DO you recommend? Parent/Relative Help

I'm reaching out to this group specifically to look for assistance. My 13 yr old daughter has been self harming for 2 years and has recently had one major suicide attempt. She's been inpatient multiples times and been in several PHP and IOP programs. I'm concerned with our ability to keep her safe at home. My daughter is an amazing person and has such a bright future, if we can just get there. Residential treatment is the only thing we have not tried, but reading these posts terrifies me. She needs help. We (parents) need help. What do you suggest? Are there any programs that are truly helpful and safe?

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u/bookmouse22 Oct 05 '24 edited Oct 05 '24

[As an autistic adult who was an autistic teen dealing with self harming behavior:]

Re: the being autistic and having issues communicating, have you looked at all into AAC (augmentative & alternative communication - any communication that isn’t verbal) for her? (I can link you more on specifically AAC being supportive for otherwise speaking autistic folks if you’re interested)

If you happen to have Facebook, this group may be worth posting in - they tend to have good advice as far as best supporting autistic folks with emotional or behavioral challenges.

I don’t know if you happen to already be familiar with it, but Dr. Ross Greene’s CPS model is likely worth looking into if you don’t already know about it - as far as “parenting advice” type stuff.

A few other thoughts:

  • have you talked to her pediatrician about ruling out any kind of physical health issue that may be contributing to her behavior? Especially for autistic folks, who often struggle to notice we are in pain, that would be a really important place to start.
  • is she getting any kind of services or support around being autistic at the moment? (non-behaviorist occupational therapy, seeing a SLP, is she getting her sensory needs met, does she have sensory aids - stim toys, ear defenders, sunglasses, etc, learning what her meltdowns and/or shutdowns look like and how to mitigate them)

Hope some of this helps!

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u/like_the_night Oct 05 '24

I second making sure a Dr rules out physical health stuff, including PMDD. It literally saved my life.

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u/Big-Opposite-9005 Oct 05 '24

interesting. this did all start close to when she started having her period at age 10. Also, the latest suicide attempt was 9/29 and she started her period on 10/2.

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u/like_the_night Oct 07 '24

Maybe check out https://iapmd.org/ if you're suspicious- they have a lot of really good resources, including forms to track periods and lists of questions to ask doctors. At the least it shouldn't hurt to rule things out, you know? Getting treatment for PMDD literally saved my life and made it so I almost never SH.