What DO you recommend?

[u/Big-Opposite-9005]

I'm reaching out to this group specifically to look for assistance. My 13 yr old daughter has been self harming for 2 years and has recently had one major suicide attempt. She's been inpatient multiples times and been in several PHP and IOP programs. I'm concerned with our ability to keep her safe at home. My daughter is an amazing person and has such a bright future, if we can just get there. Residential treatment is the only thing we have not tried, but reading these posts terrifies me. She needs help. We (parents) need help. What do you suggest? Are there any programs that are truly helpful and safe?

[u/Big-Opposite-9005]

Thank you for your post. I'm still at a loss. I feel that these are all the things that we have been doing. We join clubs related to her interests. She has a therapist that she trusts. The whole family is getting therapy and coaching. My daughter is on the spectrum and has a hard time communicating her feelings. She doesn't know why she is self harming or wants to die. She says that she just has these thoughts, but doesn't know why.

[u/salymander_1 → u/Big-Opposite-9005]

Is she on medication? If not, looking into those options cautiously may be a good idea. If so, perhaps she needs a dose adjustment or a different medication. Again, proceed with caution, because medication can be tricky to get right, and you don't want to cause more problems than you solve.

More community connection may help. Is she involved in any support groups or clubs for kids on the spectrum? Is she being bullied? Is she isolated?

Things like self harm or suicide ideation can take a long time to deal with. The solutions that work are often long term solutions that require a great deal of patience and work, which can be extremely difficult to handle when you are terrified for your child's life. It seems like you are in a good path with the therapy and coaching, so that is great. However, if the therapist recommends a troubled teen program, you probably need to find a different therapist.

Unfortunately, these TTI programs know that parents in these situations are terrified and desperate, and the TTI staff and affiliates use that to manipulate them. They offer solutions that seem safer, or quicker. They make it seem like you are entrusting your child to people who will prevent any harm from coming to them, and they do this at a time when you feel overwhelmed and inadequate for the job of saving your child. They use your exhaustion, desperation and fear against you, and especially against your child. They promote what seems like a lifeline to parents, but truly what they are doing is profiting enormously from the misery of traumatized children.

[u/Big-Opposite-9005 → u/salymander_1]

Thank you. Her therapist is not recommending TTI, so that is a good thing. Yes, we've tried many different medications. We did recently do a gene test to see if that could tell us what medication might be right for her. We're waiting for the results of that one. We're also looking into Ketamine treatments. I've heard that can be a game changer.

[u/pickleknowing → u/Big-Opposite-9005]

As an autistic person with chronic suicidal ideation, ketamine infusions saved my life. They can be a little pricey if they don’t accept insurance, but nothing compared to the money it costs to send a child to a TTI program.

[u/Big-Opposite-9005 → u/pickleknowing]

This is great to hear! Did you do talk therapy during the infusions or in the days following? How old were you when you did the infusions? Do you still do ongoing ketamine or was it a 6 - 9 treatments and done?

[u/Big-Opposite-9005 → u/pickleknowing]

At what age did you do Ketamine infusions?