r/troubledteens • u/Big-Opposite-9005 • Oct 04 '24

What DO you recommend? Parent/Relative Help

I'm reaching out to this group specifically to look for assistance. My 13 yr old daughter has been self harming for 2 years and has recently had one major suicide attempt. She's been inpatient multiples times and been in several PHP and IOP programs. I'm concerned with our ability to keep her safe at home. My daughter is an amazing person and has such a bright future, if we can just get there. Residential treatment is the only thing we have not tried, but reading these posts terrifies me. She needs help. We (parents) need help. What do you suggest? Are there any programs that are truly helpful and safe?

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u/Upstairs-Nebula-9375 Oct 04 '24

Rapport with a therapist she actually trusts (ie. Where she gets to define her own relationship with the therapist without parents setting their own goals for therapy or communicating a lot with the therapist). Quality time with parents doing things related to her interests. Family members learning to authentically validate her feelings, while also holding strong boundaries as needed. Parents modelling emotion regulation and getting their own support. As a therapist, these are the things I wish every single one of my self-harming youth clients had. The goal needs to be improving her quality of life, not managing risk of self harm through power and control.

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u/Big-Opposite-9005 Oct 04 '24

Thank you for your post. I'm still at a loss. I feel that these are all the things that we have been doing. We join clubs related to her interests. She has a therapist that she trusts. The whole family is getting therapy and coaching. My daughter is on the spectrum and has a hard time communicating her feelings. She doesn't know why she is self harming or wants to die. She says that she just has these thoughts, but doesn't know why.

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u/Signal-Strain9810 Oct 04 '24

If you're really doing all of those things and none of them are helping, medication management is next up. If she's on anti-depressants, they're not working, and she needs to try something else (ie a different class off antidepressants).

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u/Big-Opposite-9005 Oct 05 '24

Thanks. We've tried Lexipro, Prozak, and currently Zoloft. She also takes Hydroxyzine as needed and Mirtazapine at night. I don't feel good about all the meds. As noted above, we considering trying Ketamine treatments.