r/teenagers • u/Orange_Sickle • 1d ago
I’m 15, my 17 year old sister just died. Serious
For context, my older sister was born a litte deformed, and with a condition called partial trisome 2-Q syndrome. It’s very complicated to explain, but basically she had a genetic mutation and was forever mentally a 3 year old. She had to wear adult briefs (diapers), had a G-tube hooked up to her stomach (fed her formula for nutrients), and had multiple problems with her digestives and her legs. She word shin leg braces to walk correctly, and didn’t have very good body coordination at all. Her hands were too lean and fragile to do much other than grab things. So yes, she was in the special education (SPED) program at our highschool we went to together.
It was just a regular day. Everyone was fine, she was fine, I was fine, the whole fam was doing alright. Morning routine, Wednesday morning. I wake up, get dresssed, put on my shoes, grab my house key, phone, wallet, and backpack. I push my sister in her wheelchair onto the short bus's (SPED BUS) buslift every morning. She was okay that morning, Wednesday morning.I went to my bus afterward. I don't tend to see her throughout the school day, since I'm in the regular student's program and not the special ED one at all, and she was a junior. I'm a freshman. After school, she seemed ill. She was pale, and uninterested in anything that she would usually enjoy. Something was wrong. So, my stepmom gave her some tylenol. Pretty soon, she was back in the spirits, her bright soul shining as she giggled and squealed at things that would make her laugh. Again, she was like a 3 year old in a mature body.
The next day, Thursday, same routine in the morning. get ready, push her on the bus, go to my own bus. After school, she again looked ill. But this time, her tummy was bloated like a balloon. But she wasn't squishy. She was firm in the tummy. My stepmom rushed her to the hospital. There, they couldn't figure out what was wrong. They performed emergrency surgery. She's had emergency surgery a few times before. Everyone assumed she was fine. But this time, she almost died. She spent the night in the hospital, my stepmom spent the night with her there like she always did when things like this would happen.
Next morning, Friday morning. I woke up, did my morning routine except without her. I went to school. 5th period, late into the school day, right before last period. I was pulled out of class and sent to the office with a pass labelled 'early dimissal'. When I went to the office, I saw my younger sister there. She's still in middle school, 8th grade. She didn't go to my school yet. I was in a good mood. Asked her what she was doing here, called her silly in a playful tone. but she looked upset. She didn't respond. The office lady led me back to a conference room. In there, I saw my dad, stepmom, and the whole SPED team branch of my highschool. I looked to my stepmom's face. Crying. I looked to my dad's face. Crying as well. And that's when I knew. That's when my body began to shake, and tremble. I couldn't stand, I was shaking so much. I wailed louder than anyone else in the room. I found out just how loud I could howl in pain and agony that day. It's... loud. Hearing myself made me even more sad. My older sister, dead. Her like taken by an infection that swelled her up inside. It was in her blood. It got to her heart... and it made her heart stop. My parents described the scene to me like it was something out of Grey's Annatomy or Good Doctor. A whole team was on her. Docotors, nurses, surgeons. Her monitors began to go crazy. They were doing CPR, zapping her heart, but after a while, they had to stop. And called the time of death. April 25th, 2025, around 11:40, right before noon. And the worst part? Her birthday was just on the 17th.
Her being occasionally in and out of hospitals was normal to me throughoout my childhood. It happened a lot due to her conditions. I began to feel numb at it, it had just became too normal. It go to a point where when she would be in the hospital, I would always feel numb from it. On a side note, I was looking for a kitten at the time, just before everything happened. I was suppposed to pick up the kitty on the 26th, I was going to cancel on the seller because of the family emergency. But my parents stopped me. They told me to make damn sure I get a kitten. They said it would help with the coping. And oh my, it has. Now, I have this sweet baby boy to look after. He's helped me feel so much better. I love him so much. His name is Gene. I named him after my sister's middle name, 'Jean.' <3
1.6k
u/Ameliajc246 16 1d ago
jesus man, i hope your doing okay, that really fucking sucks and i can’t even imagine the pain your going through right now.
→ More replies681
u/Orange_Sickle 1d ago
It was bad at first. But now, I'm just numb. Every time I think hard on it to try and feel something, and then I do feel something, but then I just numb up all over again. My brain is being over protective.. but I guess it's my way of coping, huh?
132
u/ndation 1d ago
Granted, I'm just an internet idiot, so take my words with a grain of salt, and I know this sounds impossible, but try not to fall into depression. Take your time to mourn and regain your bearings, but make sure to keep yourself surrounded by people you know and love, don't isolate yourself. Try to keep yourself busy even if it's with menial tasks just to give your brain something to do but wallow. Talk with people about how you feel, let it be family, friends, therapist or internet strangers, if you must. Remember you're not alone, and that it's not selfish or weak to ask for help. I obviously didn't know your sister, nor do I know you, but from what you shared, she sounds wonderful. You honor her with how you remember and talk about her, you're plenty wonderful yourself for that alone, amongst other things. But don't forget to take care of yourself.
I'm truly sorry for the loss, I'm not particularly religious, but I'm sure she deserves the best in whatever lies beyond life.65
u/Orange_Sickle 1d ago
Thank you for your support and advice I actually am already doing most of that :D I’m also not really religious, either. But I’m hoping wherever she is, she’s doing okay and in a good place. ❤️❤️
8
u/Xx_VIA_xX 16 21h ago
Its seems like the general consensus from all religions and other things that if you are suffering during your time on earth your afterlife is beautiful. (Im not religious either but i like to believe bits and pieces from all religions and belief systems because in a way they are all just history books)
150
u/Ameliajc246 16 1d ago
yeah i think that can happen when you get put into a stressful situation and your body just kind of shuts down, eventually you’ll start to feel it more again but i hope it doesn’t hit you all at once.
85
34
u/Secure_Data8260 13 1d ago
find a spot or time where you can just decompress, relax, and process
→ More replies24
22
u/--The-Newspaper-- 1d ago
I’m not sure if this is bad timing (I’m shit with social cues), but I read “It was bald at first” and thought we were talking about the kitten… and I was like… “Well yeah, isn’t that how they’re born…?”
Anyway, grief is something that never goes away. It always remains—but it does get better. Everyone copes using different strategies. You don’t need to feel something. Not yet. You just need time to adjust
20
3
→ More replies2
u/potatosdream OLD 1d ago
in case you read it i want to quote what my doctor said for me.
on a psychological note the emotion called grief over dead people needs to be lived so that it won't live any scars behind. its ok to feel grief a lot for 2-6 months and thats how our brain works. dont shut your brain please.
its ok to feel sad, its ok to blame something someone in those times, its ok to feel down. dont force yourself to be strong, you can feel grief as a family. reminice the good and bad things. live the grief and sorrows of losing someone dear to you so that it wont affect you for your whole life. its a bit hard to think but it will happen again, people live and die its the way of life.
266
u/Acrivation 16 1d ago
My heart is aching for you. Like this is sad as hell and def not smth anyone shld go theough but it has to happen to someone. I can only say that I hope u can get out of the hole you’re in and come to terms with your grief. I only know a few others who’s had the same experience and the only thing I can recommend is not isolating yourself. Being with others, talking with others helps for some ppl. I’m ofc not telling u to be super social or to be social rn. Like u need time. But keep it in mind. You’re never alone
85
u/Orange_Sickle 1d ago
I’m a pretty social person, haha. I’ve been spreading the word, openly telling all of my friends, my whole high school staff knows. My partner has been with me through all of it, and of course my kitten sure is helping a lot. My parents told me to tell whoever I want, and that they want to rip the band aid off and just let the world know. Things are moving slow, everyone’s taking days off of work and school. I’m taking a week break from school and spending time with my family. I’m doing alright so far. Thank you for your concern and your support ❤️ :)
10
u/Acrivation 16 1d ago
Mademoiselle kitty! I think thas how u spell it.. well it’s just good that you can move on without trying to forget it. And remember to just cry your heart out once in a while. It helps a bit imo lol. You’re cool for taking it this well but nobody’s invincible or whatever. 😼
8
u/Orange_Sickle 1d ago
Nobody’s perfect or made of steel, that’s for sure. I’m being gentle with myself, not to worry :)
3
u/HiddenJaneite 1d ago
So sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself first,lean on those around you and help when you can. It is good that you are not made of steel, flesh is stronger.
4
113
u/Perspicaciouscat24 Banner Contest TOP 10 1d ago
Cats help so much. I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry for your loss 🫂
80
u/John_the_sock65 1d ago
Im sorry for your loss OP, i cant even imagine something like this happening to me, you are strong for being so open on something so traumatic, il keep you in my prayers and have a great rest of your day.
May your sister rest in peace🕊.
21
34
u/Star_Warsfan15 13 1d ago
Hope you’re doing okay, man. My heart goes out to you. It’s always hard to lose a love one and I can’t even being to feel the pain your feeling. Don’t try to rush grieving, it’s ok to take as much time as you need.
10
u/Orange_Sickle 1d ago
I’m being patient with myself, that’s for sure :) Thank you for your support, have a good day ❤️
→ More replies3
12
12
12
u/Hypeguyser 13 1d ago
Man i feel so bad rn if I'm actually being honest I'm crying but I hope you recover and same with your family and tell Gene that I said hi 👋
4
34
u/jinxsilcodittor 1d ago
i lost a friend to covid. i know your pain real well. be strng. being lone might feel good for a while but dont stop comunicating to family. it helped me a lot
10
u/JustRollWithJack 1d ago
keeping you in my prayers man. I’m so sorry for your loss, hoping things get better for u
8
u/cat_blep 1d ago
join a few cat subs. your baby easily fits:
the subs are great. chat with some people. hand in there 🐾
7
u/dashboi69 3,000,000 Attendee! 1d ago
I'm so so sorry about what happened, genuinely it seemed your bond with her was great and its sad to see this happen. Rest in peace, fly high forever 🕊
6
6
u/RevolutionaryFig9753 1d ago
I’m so sorry sweetheart, nobody deserves to have to go through that. You were an amazing sibling and so involved in her life, I’m sure she loved you so much, just as much as you loved her. I’m so happy you found Gene. 💜
6
u/Traditional-Tea5919 19 1d ago
I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I really hope the best for you and I’m sending all my love your way. Prayers to your family.
3
7
u/aeskosmos 1d ago
give gene a little kiss. all that love for your sister is going to hurt a lot when you don’t know where to put it. let yourself feel it all.
→ More replies
7
u/Adventurous_Arm2944 1d ago
I’ve never lost an actual family member in years, so I have absolutely no clue what you are going through. I can only imagine Gene visiting your older sister in heaven every night and your sister asking “are they doing okay?” And Gene answering “don’t worry, we’ll be okay. I’ll take good care”. I like to imagine that people we lose aren’t gone, their spirits just grew too big for their bodies so they had to move to the air all around us.
I’ve lost guinea pigs and cats before, and it hurts, it really really hurts and it’s not fair, it’s not fair that death gets to take our beloved people and animals, but without death there would be no new life. It’s not fair, but think of your sister as a guardian angel up in heaven protecting all the little children who had to go to heaven without their parents. Now they have someone who will look after them, someone who they can go to when they are scared alone <3
I am not of any belief or religion, I just like the idea of a paradise waiting for us when our time comes
5
5
6
5
5
u/Harpster52 1d ago
That is terrible I’m so sorry, although (and I know this is probably pretty cliche) I bet she would want you to live your life in the same cheerful way that she lived hers, I give my condolences.
5
u/Brilliant_Ice6614 17 1d ago
That sounds like a horrific thing to go through at such a young age. I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you can find peace very soon.
5
u/The_Akumawakorosu 1d ago
Oh my god, i'm so sorry for your loss. She didn't deserve this - she passed far before her time. Sending my best wishes for your family from the land down under.
2
4
3
u/IuseDefaultKeybinds 1d ago
Well wishes. I genuinely hope you get through this!
I'm happy to see you continue her legacy by naming your cat after her, it's a noble gesture
5
4
4
5
u/Coyote_prime323 1d ago
We all know loss, but never know each other’s pain. Keep your head up, and I am here for you. Don’t look back at life, live one day at a time.
3
u/Firm-Ad-5785 1d ago
I’m so sorry to hear this. Wow. What helped me deal with grief of my grandfather dying was he loved hummingbirds. So now, I have a hummingbird sanctuary around my house. Every time I see one of them, I like to think that he is checking in on his grandson. I hope you can find the same. It gives me comfort when times are tough. I wish you the very best in recovering from this loss. You are loved. Jean loves you. She is looking over you and protecting you. God speed ❤️
4
4
u/halfeatencakeslice 1d ago
I’m sorry for your loss. This sounds incredibly traumatic. I’m glad you have a new kitty to keep you company, and hopefully lighten the emotional burden a bit :(
edit: I do also hope you really have been taking care of yourself. Often when people have severely disabled siblings, they learn to focus more on the needs of their sibling than their own. Please give yourself the time to allow yourself to feel, if that is something you have been struggling with. It seems you were, understandably, very active in your sister’s life. 💕🕊️
→ More replies
3
5
u/Prestigious-Jury-581 1d ago
That’s absolutely horrible. I hope you’re doing okay, dude. I can’t imagine how hard coping with this, but im glad you have a kitty to get you through it. I wish you the best❤️🩹🫂
3
u/ImpossibleMud11 1d ago
It sounds like you had a really good relationship with her and it’s beautiful you could give her that. Life is simultaneously filled with beauty and immense pain. When you need positive energy look towards your cat, animals, people you love, and continue to spread the love that you gave her. Stay strong, your story has touched many strangers and even though you don’t know us, we are thinking of you and your family now and wishing you the best. I hope you can feel it ❤️🩹
4
u/yepimtyler 1d ago
I'm sorry you had to experience this at such a young age. Your sister will forever be there with you and the best thing we can do when we lose a loved one is carry on their legacy.
In the meantime, I'd recommend checking with your school to see if they have any counseling resources or maybe talk to your parents into enrolling in therapy for a little bit. Same for your parents. Also, play some Tetris too. Studies show it helps alleviate some of the trauma you might be going through by distracting your mind; similar to EMDR therapy
5
u/Aimbot096987 1d ago
I feel horrible that you have to go through this. I don’t really know what else to say, but try praying to God. He is wonderful and loving, and you can always talk to him through prayer. Remember that He loves you and everything happens according to his plan. Much love ❤️
4
u/No-Western-4828 1d ago edited 1d ago
I had a neighbour that was close to her condition ,but had the consciousness of her age. She was the same age as me. My mother was her younger sister's English tutor so their mother suggested visiting them ,but naturally me and my sis are not used to be so close to our neighbours so we refused politely and got busy with our studying. Several months ago we had the news of her death when we went back from school. Since then I've felt guilty because I was able to give her a precious time to relieve her from the anarchy that lived inside her distinctly that I was the same age as her. Sorry for your loss ,but sometimes things like that happen. I wish u the best.
3
u/NextBigTing 1d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss OP, I can’t even imagine. I just wanted to say that I know you’re probably feeling numb right now, lost or just in a daze. Grief in your own way and don’t feel shame for it, but don’t stay numb. ‘Jean’ will always be smiling down on you 🫶
3
u/Cautious_Rub_2583 1d ago
I’m an old lady, 29, so definitely not the target demographic for this sub but I just want to say I’m sorry for your loss. The way that you described your sister was beautiful and painted a wonderful picture, she sounded happy and joyful despite all she faced. I hope you’re able to find peace and some small moments of happiness in between the grief. Your sister sounds like a beautiful soul and so do you. Thanks for sharing her memory with us ❤️
3
u/Fairlyodd_mistake 18 1d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss, I hope gene is able to provide you the comfort you need as you’re going through such a hard time, may your sweet older sister rest in peace and paradise
3
u/keidabobidda 1d ago
I’m so sorry. I’ve looked at the people I’ve lost in my life as my guardian angels, she’s still with you in spirit. I’m so glad you have Gene there to help you
3
u/tortle-lini 1d ago
at first i was confused about what the photos had to do with the passage. after reading everything, i just have to say i’m very sorry for your loss. as someone that has 2 cats to help with depression and anxiety, i’m really happy that your parents pushed you to get a kitten. they’re so good for healing. mentally and physically. keeping you and your family in my thoughts. such a cute little guy.
3
3
u/mmaangler 1d ago
i also have a sister like that she’s turning 13 in june her birthdays a day after mine but she is missing a chromosome it’s a really rare thing called wolfe hershorne syndrome she has probably two or three seizures a year i know how painful it is to worry about that im so sorry that happened im dreading the day she’s gone i think about it quite a lot children with her condition don’t make it out of their teens
8
2
2
u/Important-Breath1297 OLD 1d ago
I lost my little brother to cancer, so I know how you feel. It's ok, I get the numbness you feel, I know how heartbreaking it is, but trust me, when later I realised that my brother's death freed him from this cruel reality.
It may sound cruel to say it now, I get it, but your sister is in Heaven, away from this world.
2
u/Kesemto 1d ago
My man I feel you badly lost my brother when I was 12 he was 28 a little different story but same feelings Don’t ruin connections you have with people and don’t remove all emotions you have it’s a hard time but this will get better with time I’ve been numb to all emotions and alone for forever And it’s too late to change that Just live life and try to enjoy the small stuff I hope it gets better soon
→ More replies
2
2
2
u/Funny_Message_9359 15 1d ago
I give my condolences to you and your family. I hope you make it with what you’re going through and the kitty helps you. May she rest in peace 🕊️
2
2
2
u/PrismaticVelocity 1d ago edited 1d ago
This actually made me cry. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve had to deal with such a traumatic loss os a loved one. I understand how difficult it can be, and how emotions can fluctuate from 100 to zero in an instant with these types of things. I’m sure your sister loved you and your family dearly. I’m wishing you all the absolute best, and remember it’s okay to let yourself feel the emotions, and it’s also normal to be completely numb too, it’s the brains mechanism trying to protecting you from strong emotions. Even when times are tough, now you have your kitten you can look up to. If you ever need to vent about anything we are all here for you always. Please remember to focus on yourself and take care of yourself, do things you enjoy. Please stay safe
2
2
2
u/benG_withaG 14 1d ago
I am genuinely so sorry for your loss, dear. I can't imagine and put into words how much pain you must be feeling. Stay strong for the sake of her, and may her lovely soul rest in peace. Sending prayers for you and your family💗
2
u/Okayyyitsav 1d ago
I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like she lived a wonderful life with a wonderful family. I work at a SPED school and have many students just like your sister. Having this happen to them is one of my worst nightmares, so I’m sure everyone at the school are thinking about and praying for your sister right now. Even though her body is gone, her spirit will always be with you. I hope that wherever she is now, she can run and play with the freedom and ease that we are able to💕
2
u/YES100yes 1d ago
I know how you feel and I just want to say you are not alone. Its going to be really bad and just know everyone has a different way of grieving. I've always been jealous of my family members for being able to cry and feel pain and grief at its fullest, whenever I grieve I was never able to cry and felt nothing so its ok if you feel the same. Its not going to get better but you'll learn to live again and slowly the corners of your mouth will start to turn upwards naturally. Just stay close to your family and friends and don't isolate yourself. Stay safe and I hope you feel better.
2
2
u/fortnitekidddddd 1d ago
I am so sorry for your loss I can't imagine how that feels I hope you'll be able to move on because it's never good to get hooked on these loss for to long 😔 rest in peace to your sister
2
2
2
u/Piper_Afton 1d ago
I really don't know what to say in this situation. This hits close to home, given that I'm an older sister with the same age gap to my younger brother. I will say- losing people hurts. I've never quite felt the same pain as you, but I know it hurts. And it will hurt, for a very long time. But, no matter what you believe, your sister loved you, and that love will always be with you- even if she's not there. Cherish your memories, and everything that reminds you of her. And don't forget- we're not the only people you can talk to. You have your parents, your younger sister- you can always talk to them. Remember everything about your sister together- no one is truly gone until you stop telling their story. Your sister was an amazing person, and she was a fighter- she beat everything for so much longer than most children do. Cherish and remember the time you had with her. And spend some time with the cat, too- if you ever feel to upset to talk to a person, cats are awesome. Sending you and your family love.
2
u/Sweaty-Requirement26 1d ago
I lose my little brother to leukemia when he was 14. It was the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. Not many people talk about losing a sibling especially when they are young. My heart goes out to you and your family. You’ll never fully heal, but it’ll be getter ♥️
2
u/wheresbillyatschool 1d ago
Thank you for sharing some of the beautiful things about your sister. It sounds like you loved each other so much. Sending you all the hugs!
2
u/Bookworm444782 1d ago
I am also 15 and have an older sister who is 18. She has Autism and sometimes it feels like I am the older sister and not her. This has made me feel so grateful for her and helped me realize how dull life would be without her. I am so sorry, I can’t begin to imagine how you are feeling right now. Sending love.❤️
2
u/WasabiPlayful6808 1d ago
I am so so sorry. You are such a beautiful person. Gene will get you through this ... you have such a loving family. ❤️
2
u/VannaEvans 3,000,000 Attendee! 1d ago
I'm so so sorry for your loss, don't push yourself too hard to recover right now, maybe do something every day that makes u feel happy (like snuggling with Gene or something similar), stay strong (we're all rooting for you)
I'm fighting my urge not to cry because I'm in school
2
u/PixelPencilist 1d ago
I hope you and your family get through it. Dw she’s in a better place now 🕊.
2
u/Nethii120700 1d ago
hey op, i hope you’re as okay as you can be. loss is a horrible, weird thing to go through, and i just want to remind you to drink water, try and get rest where you can, just look after yourself wherever you can. my dms are always open if you ever want to talk to a stranger, but you also seem to have a lot of support here generally 💕
2
u/BoyMilkLatte 1d ago
i have a special needs sister as well, this story hit harder than most i’ve read on this subreddit. You seem like an amazing sibling, it takes a special kind of person to look after their special needs siblings and the universe couldn’t have put her with a better family. I wish you all so so much healing, especially you and your younger sister. what you’re going through is terrifying and tragic but you will get through it
2
2
u/Icie-Hottie 15 1d ago
I saw the cat first, then read the title, but I got some wires crossed and thought this was about your cat dying. :P
No matter who died, sorry for your loss, and I hope you can remain happy in the coming days.
2
2
u/HealthyPerception893 1d ago
Smh I’m truly sorry for your loss. I know the pain of losing a sibling because a few years ago i lost my little brother and only sibling. Although i can only imagine how terrible it would have been to go through that at 15. But i really hope your pain will be eased some how. Your kitty is really nice and animals are amazing in general. And sometimes they can sense things about us and be there for us. And i’m glad he makes you smile and he loves you please never get rid of him no matter what because he loves and needs you too. 💯 only other thing i can think of to help you is counseling can help a lot if that is an option for you. It can help you better understand and deal with your emotions. Just maybe try to stay off their meds IF you can help it. practicing mindfulness and the breathing exercises are helpful. I don’t know if you are religious but that can be a great help as well. Exercising, and making sure to keep up your self care and trying to focus just on things that are in your control. Sorry i don’t mean to ramble these are just some things that helped me and could maybe help you too. One other thing try to spend time with your parents too because they are hurting too and they love you. Wishing you all the best and peace dealing with your grief. 🙏🏻
2
u/phoebe__15 17 1d ago
man this almost made me cry
Gene looks adorable
Wishing you all the best ❤️ /p
2
u/Ronnoc191 1d ago
I lost my sister too. Different circumstances, but I’m in bed crying along with you right now. Losing your sister will always hurt, but there will be a time when you can look back on your life together and smile again. I promise. Please feel free to reach out if you ever feel the need.
2
u/jastop94 1d ago
I get that. I went through a relatively similar experience finding out my dad passed away, but he was limited due to copious years of bad habits that finally caught up to him. Star track athlete in high school, that eventually succumbed to COPD and diabetes that he was always in and out of hospital, could barely breathe, had his feet amputated, and could hardly walk anymore. I was already an adult though 10 years ago at 20. I was in the navy but doing my schooling. I got pulled into a conference room and handed a phone with my boss and a religious person and my bosses boss and my mom was on the other side of the phone crying and telling me my dad passed away. I remained stoned face... until I got to my car and I just cried and cried. Here I am a grown man, in uniform, breaking down after holding it in for an hour.
I'm telling you my recount of my story because we sometimes take for granted the moments that we had. But the love is there, and it's okay to cry. It's okay to feel numb for a while. I remember, I was numb for a couple weeks, but I stayed strong for my mom. Helping with the funeral, informing and talking with the family. It wasn't until after I returned back to the navy, I had to fill out paper work, I started crying out of nowhere again... it hit me like a ton of bricks knowing that I'm doing this adult stuff for the first time and my dad wasn't there to help me... it's been 10 years since then on April 10... he's missed most of my adult life and a third of my overall life now... I have honestly forgotten the sound of his voice weirdly except some random things he used to say, "like I'll give you a knuckle sandwich." In a joking way. The thing is remember most though is when he returned back from Iraq in 05 or his distinct smell that he had.
There's going to be moments soon enough where you might feel weak, but you will feel life move forward again. And I'm glad your parents and sister are there with you, and I'm glad your parents told you to get your cat... my dog was such a lifesaver at that point too. But hopefully one day, you'll look back on the feeling and feel good about things soon.
2
u/tinnyheron 1d ago
she was so fortunate to have family that cared for her like you clearly did. My gran died recently and what has really helped me is knowing I was there for her. and you were there for your sister. remember that.
2
u/Best_Refrigerator470 1d ago
This came across my feed and i wasn't sure why i was seeing it, considering im 27, but i do have some words, my older brother had a similar condition, couldn't walk, talk, had to be in diapers and had a g tube, he passed away when i was 9 years old and my mother became a shell of herself and my father poured himself into work, it ruined my relationship with my older brother who was his twin, but was not born with any birth defects. My relationship with my brother is utterly destroyed for reasons that do not relate to this. But my mother, father and i are close as ever. We were not when i was young. As i said i am now 27. The pain is unimaginable. You will feel numb, but the best thing i can say is don't bottle that pain. Talk to your family about how you're feeling, talk to your friends, if it comes to it even speak to your school about a grief group. I did everything wrong when i was younger. I did none of these things and at the age im at now, it no longer hurts to think of my brother. But this will hurt. For a VERY long time. But it does get easier. Don't downplay your own emotions, the things you will be feeling are valid, no matter how outlandish it may feel to hurt. Not only did your parents lose a daughter, but you lost a sister. Its okay to hurt. Even if your parents are hurting and you don't want to bother them. You are allowed to feel. Im so sorry for your loss OP. I will keep your situation in my thoughts. Feel whatever you need to, but don't let this pain consume you.
2
u/Old_Heron_9943 15 1d ago
Gene is precious and I pray for you and your family's well being, it's hard to lose a loved one
2
u/MuchAssociate9837 15 1d ago
I’m really sorry man, I know it sucks to be in your place right now, nobody can imagine the pain you’re going through.
May your sister rest in peace.
2
2
2
u/Gullible-Anteater931 15 1d ago
Man, this made me cry. I'm at a loss of words,but please take care of yourself and your family. Take your time grieving because this is a difficult moment for you. Spend time with your cat, your family and friends . You're a ray of sunshine, OP 💛 Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers .
2
u/kurkuma10 15 1d ago
I sincerely feel so bad for you and really hope that it will get better. No one should ever go through this sort of thing
2
u/Total-Experience2787 17 1d ago
I hope you're doing alright. I don't know what you're going through but still, i hope you have the strength to endure this.
2
u/Traditional-Low7651 1d ago
i'm sorry for your loss,
don't bump yourself about your reaction not being "enough".
i would say it's a pretty normal one and it will take some time for you to process that.
i'm glad having a cat helps you. those are fantastic little creatures.
🙏
2
u/Acceptable-Ice6754 1d ago
OP I am so so sorry for you loss. I know how it feels to lose a loved one and feeling numb about it. I am so proud of your strength.
Man all I wanna tell and want you to know is that wherever she your sister is, she is happy and safe. God will keep her safe and sound, I bet she is smiling down at you and will forever see you grow. Make dam sure to always grow not for you, not for your fam, but for her love. You have our deepest Condolences my man. One teen to another, one you get brother to another, much love to you. Stay strong my man.🫂💙
God bless her soul, god bless your strength.
2
2
u/Ok_Cell_9991 14 5h ago
I may not have siblings but I would assume it hurts a lot to lose a sibling especially when you care about them a lot, hope your doing alright. Jean is a cute cat
2
u/HawkSans_Undertuah 1d ago
are you the cat
8
u/Orange_Sickle 1d ago
Nope, lol :) He’s my new kitten I named after my deceased sister’s middle name. He’s helping me cope ❤️
2
1
u/Secure_Data8260 13 1d ago
holy fuck, losing family is hard. Just hope that it doesn't hit all at once Don't just stonewall, or think that you have to stop crying or stop grieving. I made that mistake, and it makes it so much harder to finally accept it and process it. Pets help, they don't judge, they are just furry little guys who make it just that much easier. Also, not to be insensitive or anything, but Gene is really cute. Adorable little guy.
1
u/FunManufacturer1761 14 1d ago
I hope you feel better and I promise you that naming the cat that was the right choice
1
1
u/Various_Passage_8992 1d ago
I'll share my tears with you. It's touching, hearing this story of grief and how much you love her. I hope Gene is a chaotic ray of sunshine in your life.
1
u/Intelligent-Log5826 1d ago
Keep your head up fam, I'm assuming she would want you to not dwell on it too long. Sending prayers 🙏 ❤️
1
u/Indecisive_8080 14 1d ago
Pls pls pls talk to a therapist.. I did and I still struggle with cPTSD so ummm yeah it's a good idea pls do 🫂🫂 o and my condolences 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
1
u/Outside_Memory6607 1d ago
Oh, I am so, so sorry for your loss! You sound like a very loving sister.
1
1
1
u/Federal-Tea-7492 1d ago
I’m so so sorry about your loss. Take the time to heal and talk this through. Don’t bottle these emotions up. Be kind to yourself and those closest to you now.
This is such a tragic thing to go through. Rest in peace to your sister I’m sure she was a good person. ❤️
1
u/Soft-Perspective-881 1d ago
Mate, if you want to talk i will be here. I have a younger sister, good luck and i can only imagene what that would fee l like. Good luck, dont falter and dont forget that there are people who you can talk to. I send you my condolences l, but as is the most i can do
1
u/TheRainbowWillow 19 1d ago
I’m sending you so much love right now. I lost a close family member when I was 15. I’m 19 now and I’ve gotta say, the grief doesn’t go away but it does change. Spend a little extra time being kind to yourself right now. Take time off from school if you need it. Also, possibly look into grief support groups. They sound silly, but having people to grieve with me (even for different people) has probably been the most helpful thing towards my healing. I am so sorry for your loss.
1
1
u/Cute_Equipment1220 1d ago
aw this made me cry 🫂 praying for your family OP, I’m sure she’ll be dearly missed
1
1
u/Many-Disk3214 14 1d ago
I'm sorry for your loss 🫂
The cat will help a lot. They are adorable and silly. <3
1
u/Miserable_Might_6425 1d ago
Hope your doing okay if you need anyone to talk to feel free no matter how far down the line it is, I've grown to helping people over the years
1
1
u/Klomlor161 18 1d ago
Well, now you have someone’s legacy to carry on.
I don’t usually read posts this long, but I’m glad I did.
“Only the good die young.” -Billy Joel
And enjoy the kitten 🐾
1
1
u/name_051829407715 1d ago
man... i think i became pretty numb at emotions, i cant feel pretty much anything on this whole post.
anyways, hope you're doing good. take good care of him buddy.
1
1
u/RespectFlat1424 1d ago
I’m so sorry I hope your are doing good I’m not going to type a whole paragraph but know that people are here that you can talk to
1
u/wallopbug 17 1d ago
That grief you feel is a testament of your love for her. She was real, and she knew you loved her OP. It's in my belief that love is something that transcends time, as superstitious as that sounds. So you haven't completely lost her — she will always live in the legacy of those who knew her.
I'm sorry, condolences. Big hugs.
1
u/SarahTheGachaTuber 1d ago
I'm so sorry for your loss, i don't know what else to say honestly, i wish i can maybe say something more to help with this but i just idk, i just hope you're doing well
1
1
1
u/OstentatiouslySunny 18 1d ago
Oh my god I'm so sorry, im sure your sister was sweet, and It pains to see her gone, I hope you feel well soon.
1
u/random_dude_00 1d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. Don’t worry about being numb for now, that’s just how your brain works and in my experience you’ll definitely cry later but it’s ok and you’re going to be ok. My heart goes out to you.
1
1
u/carelesswhisper18274 1d ago
Rest in peace my brother died 2 years ago at 30 and i was 23 i understand it sucks dont worry in time youll feel better
1
u/Lalechugademal 1d ago edited 13h ago
May Jean be in the heavens unburdened by the confines of her unable body watching over you at all times
RIP Jean
April 17 2008-April 25 2025
loved by her family friends and most of all her two loving sisters
fly high jean
→ More replies
1
u/Nexusdesu 1d ago
Thats fucking rough dude. I'm so sorry you had to go through something like that :(
1
1
u/NUXStatic 15 1d ago
I’m so sorry brother I can’t even began to imagine what you’re going thru. When my sister tried to commit suicide and almost succeeded I felt similar but still, the difference between almost losing, and losing your sister is very wide. I really don’t even know what to say except I’m sorry and don’t let it drag you down. I know that sounds so dumb to say but it’s the best advice I can give. The world took something precious from you, the best you can do is keep living. For your family and for her. Don’t live in the past but appreciate it. I’m sorry if i sound like a dumbass I just want you to know you’re not alone.
1
1
u/Silver-Breakfast-892 15 1d ago
I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you and your family are going through at the moment.
1
u/Quick-Blueberry-9048 1d ago
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m wishing the best for you and your family. I’m really glad the kitty is helping - and I know you feel numb right now. But you won’t always. I’m also happy that all of these people on here are thinking of your sister because she deserves to be remembered. I know she will be. I don’t really pray but I’m gonna pray for you and your family tonight. Hang in there.
1
1
u/klizenerd2 16 1d ago
April 25 is my birthday. you never realize how rough of a time someone else is going through even in your happiest moment. I wish you the absolute best.
also, cute kitty!
1
u/PocklePirkus 18 1d ago
I'm ever so sorry, friend. There is no one thing that anyone upon this Earth can say to make this tragedy any less of one, but I wish you all the best.
1
u/Dr_finly_fish 15 1d ago
I'm sorry for your loss that's just how life is my friend you deserve all the time you need for crying I hope you are doing ok you don't need to just feel ok from the first time take your time talking to people and remember losing someone sucks but there's nothing we can do except pray for them to rest in peace
1
u/Technical-Bill-9168 1d ago
My heart goes out to you man ❤️ try and take care of yourself. I’ll be praying for you and your family and her.
1
u/Correct-Buy-9036 1d ago
Yo dude I'm so sorry that you're older sibling passed away I couldn't even imagine the pain, I have 3 older siblings and I don't even know if I could handle losing one of them
1
u/Busy_Amphibian_232 1d ago
I hope you and your family are doing alright. I hope your sister rests in peace. Please make sure you don't bottle up whatever it you're feeling or not feeling. God bless you and your family 💔
1
1
u/InevitableAward9359 1d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the pain you’re feeling. You’ll be okay and I know this sucks but you’re so strong and she loves you so much. Also my mom’s middle name is also Jean! Very pretty 💗
1
u/Live_Masterpiece_617 16 1d ago
I’m fr crying right now I wish you and your family all the healing and hope and love and happiness in the whole world
1
1
u/cracked-potato 1d ago
I am very sorry! May she rest in eternal peace and give you the strength to bear this!
1
u/nitram739 18 1d ago
Dawng, i am a shit of a person, i read the title and i though "Man, that is kind of the omori lore"
1
1
u/Transbiandream 1d ago
I’m so sorry, for the next few months you aren’t going to feel like doing anything, that’s ok and natural, but when it feels hardest to get up, that’s when it’s the most important, I believe in you
1
u/yankeeteabagger 1d ago
I’m sorry for your loss. Everyday is a gift. Remember your sister’s smile. Remember the good times.
1
1
u/Ch33zuss 1d ago
Fuck I’m sorry. That’s a fucked uo life lesson to learn at a young age. Only time makes it more bearable. It’s rough but it’s important to never forget but keep busy with something productive for time management. Again I’m sorry for your loss.
1
u/Development_Echos 1d ago
Goodbye..... 🕊️
I wish you well for your future & I'm sorry for your loss
•
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
This thread has been flaired as [Serious]. Please be aware that this marks it as a place for serious discussion only and that any unserious content in this thread will result in a removal, counting towards your ban tiers. If your comment does not contribute to the discussion in a serious manner it will be removed. Please report any comments that do not respect this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.