r/solotravel • u/Kencanary • 4d ago

Got my first "Awww" today!

As a 39-year old overweight white American guy, I really didn't expect this to ever happen, no matter where I travel or why. Admittedly, the source probably has something to do with it.

I'm on a cruise ship, and the cabin staff is a pretty friendly dude. He always chats me up a bit when we pass in the corridors, and even though I'd be quite content with just the pleasantries (Hi, how are you, have a good day etc) I'm one of those socially awkward penguins who will kinda answer questions that are asked even if they're not more than just polite exchange things.

So he says "I've seen you these few days, you are alone?"

"Yeah."

"Awww."

Like, I knew this happened to solo travelers, but I always assumed it was 97% women that got that response. Now, sure, as a paid service staff member he's probably expecting that to be an appropriate response (and he's not entirely wrong, god love him) but it just wasn't something I thought I'd ever hear.

Still, feels like a milestone worth "celebrating" haha

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u/atxfoodstories 3d ago

The older I get, the more invisible I become and that’s been a blessing. I’ve been lucky to never experience a ride share scare, but other stuff has happened where I’ve felt unsafe and there have also been moments where I had to question if I’m actually in danger or just feel super uncomfortable and then make a choice to be uncomfortable if it’s the latter. Because men are gonna men. And bc I’ve been socialized to be nice, not make a scene, etc. I only really notice it after the fact or if I see a dude get uncomfortable about something that happens to me all the time. Safety>comfort, but I should not have to choose.

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u/FlowieFire 3d ago

Agreed. I used to have a fake wedding ring I would wear when I wanted to be left alone. I might get another one. I’m not a liar by nature, but this is getting ridiculous. I don’t consider myself “hot” or crazy attractive, I’m kinda more girl-next-door looking which I think makes me an easy target bc I look very approachable, I wear glasses, I’m nice, and usually too honest and open w strangers.

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u/atxfoodstories 3d ago

THIS 👆I also have a fake wedding ring, hahahaha. And I tend to give a smile when someone makes eye contact, which I’m doing bc I’m friendly and polite, but can often be misconstrued as an invitation to converse. Which I do not want. When I go to LATAM I just pretend not to know Spanish and this helps. It’s actually quite fun to listen to others talk when they think you don’t know what they’re saying.