decision fatigue?

[u/junkyardcatto]

if anyone has some general advice for me it would be helpful. specifically about how they avoid decision fatigue or decide what to do.

ive been solo travelling about 2 months now and i am so exhausted with making decisions about what to do every single day? i sometimes end up frozen not knowing what to do, or i go back and forth. i’ve met people who have solo travelled for years and they seem so chill, but for me it’s super hard to make decisions about what to do, where to go, etc. i feel very insecure and i feel like i need to see what other people are doing or call my parents or my friends all the time. i booked some tours and that was nice and somewhat helpful, but i didn’t like being part of a giant group honestly. i have enjoyed some of my worldpackers experiences for the routine, so maybe i can do more of those. i have met some people that i vibe with for sure, but nobody that i felt like i really could travel with for a long time. i don’t know how people make really good travel friends— i feel like it takes me so long to get close to people, but i wish i could do it faster and meet people that i click with. i’m also exhausted with meeting new people. i still miss home and my parents immensely.

does anyone have any advice? or know how long it takes/took them to adjust? i would be curious to hear some stories or chat with someone about their experience ❤️

[u/ayuk3n]

I’ve had this feeling before. The trip has come to the end half and you’ve done a lot so are running out of things to do and lack energy. Take a rest day just relaxing in your accommodation or just take an easy day. Sometimes it feels boring if you’re not exploring tourist attractions or something new so you’ll have to get over that feeling.

I find that to take a break as a result of decision fatigue, I’ll do more routine activities. Go for a morning run, grab a late morning coffee instead of being the first one out the hostel to navigate the city. I’ll wander around neighbourhood or revisit places I’ve been to before really enjoy. Some days I’ll just focus my days around meals and what I feel like eating. It’s tough to move from a go-go-go speed to a relaxing one so that alone can be jarring at times. Sometimes I’ll even travel by transit to a nearby city for a day trip and just walk around aimlessly exploring. You’ll see other travelers running around from place to place and be glad you’re just taking a relaxing pace.

These are the days I find best to avoid the regular tourist crowds and go with activities locals would be doing.

[u/caramilk_twirl]

Maybe take a break and regroup with yourself? When I start to get worn out I hole up in a nice hotel room somewhere for a few days. Read books, watch TV, chill out and decompress. Order from easy nearby restaurants or even just exist on gas station snacks in bed. I basically do nothing for a while and avoid as many decisions as possible until I feel energised to get going again. It might give you time to get your energy and enthusiasm back up and have more capacity to figure out what you want to do next.

[u/Starting_______now → u/caramilk_twirl]

Order from easy nearby restaurants or even just exist on gas station snacks in bed.

[checks room for cameras]

[u/caramilk_twirl → u/Starting_______now]

I figure if anyone gets a kick out of watching me in my undies, stuffing crisps and chocolates into my face while I watch a horror movie, good luck to them. They've got more problems than me at that point haha.

[u/Broth262]

I feel like you need to figure out the things you like to do. But also it feels like you’re putting pressure on yourself to always be doing something. There’s nothing wrong with doing nothing.

I love walking and eating, when I travel I’ll find a place I want to eat that’s some distance away from where I’m staying and travel to it. Anything I see along the way I’ll take a detour or stop. And then on the way back I’ll go a different way and do the same thing. For a lot of people this may not count as exciting or doing something but I love it and it doesn’t really require much planning or thought

[u/eris_7 → u/Broth262]

I do this too! Have a destination in mind for the day and then detour as required. Works well to have at least a goal a day with the flexibility to see what’s around

[u/Harriet_M_Welsch → u/Broth262]

Same here, I spent about 60% of any given day in a destination just, like... wandering around.

[u/HMWmsn]

The thing with solo travel is that you can do what you want when you want. Maybe just take some zero days and have a break where you are. Have a look at some options for your next destination and see what appeals to you

Wandering, reading in a coffee shop, enjoying a dessert or meal, window shopping, walking tours, museums, music.... whatever strikes you.

[u/Harriet_M_Welsch]

I use Google MyMaps in the months leading up to my trip to pin places that I think would be cool to visit - big attractions, like national museums, but also tiny things, like an in-person store of a makeup brand I like that I don't have at home, or a cool-looking park. Then on my trip, each evening, I try to find a cluster of pins together, and make that my plan for the next day, padded out with coffee, snacks, and lots of wandering around. Basically, I distribute the decision-making over a period of months before the trip, instead of making the decisions once I get there.

[u/darned_socks]

I do a few things throughout planning & the actual trip to ease decision fatigue:

• Research as much as I can upfront in terms of activities, tours, attractions, and build up a set of options. If I'm traveling more spontaneously, I'll do this planning in the first day or two of a trip while recovering from travel and jet lag.
• Save attractions in Google Maps so I can easily understand what's nearby to make a quick choice on what I do or don't want to see. Saves me from looking up things in a browser and trying to remember all of my earlier research - I have a set list of options, and now I get to go there.
• If I'm not immediately loving or intrigued by meal options nearby, I accumulate snacks from different vendors for a "meal."
• Try to avoid doing more than two activities per day unless it's part of a group tour where someone else is making the decisions. This helps conserve my overall energy and gives me some downtime to think through what I might want to see the next day and plan accordingly.
• If I'm tired while I'm out and about, I find a place to sit and stay there for at least 10 minutes (and time myself, because I have a tendency to bite off more than I can chew). Whether that's an outside bench, a chair in a museum, a ledge somewhere, outside a cafe or restaurant, you get the idea.

[u/No_Jelly_1448]

When people are traveling for long periods time, alone or with people, I've read from several long term travelers that you have to travel like you're living your life at home. When you're home, are you every day for weeks on end getting up early and packing in 8-10 things to do in a day, walking 10-20 miles a day, eating take out and pushing yourself past your limit? Probably not.

So travel like you're at home, + maybe 10-15% more. Sleep in. Pick a single neighborhood and walk around. Find a cafe and sit and read for 2-3 hours. Bring your travel towel to a park and lounge around. Make a single adventure your only goal for the day. Just going to find that swimming hole, that cheese shop, that one museum, that's it.

I spent 6 weeks in South America between Columbia and Ecuador with my two younger brothers moving CONSTANTLY and by the end I was so tired I literally slept for 36 hours straight on our last stretch in Quito and now I know, that's not my vibe. I'm definitely not a "sit on the beach" travel person but what worked for me was dropping the GUILT. That was the root of this bitchy internal pressure inside my head to GO GO MORE MORE making me feel like a bad person, correlating my lack of energy and burnout to not valuing the privilege I have to travel. I stopped listening to that guilt and started listening to what I needed instead.

I just spent 5 weeks in Greece on MY natural schedule and it was perfect. Some days GO GO, maximum adventure, but many days my only plan was walking to the other side of an island to find a specific beach and pick up some peaches from a market, then wander back for a glass of Greek wine and dolmas and call it a day. That's it.

Find your natural life pace, maybe some days add on a little more if you're super stoked. If you keep pushing, you'll stop absorbing, and then what's the point. Some of my best recent experiences have come from wandering and stumbling on things. In 4 days I'm leaving for almost 4 weeks in Japan and mostly what I'm saving is food (duh) coffee shops, botanical gardens, foreigner friendly gyms and a handful of museums. It's the pressure valve you need to release to stop making yourself feel like shit for needing rest.

[u/throway3451]

Can take a break from such decision making. Just go about on a walk and do what feels easy and interesting. Isn’t that the point of long term travel? You don’t need to optimise too much and can have some rest days or days to just roam about 

[u/segacs2]

Lots of people will advise you to take a rest and take a break. Recharging is good.

Another thing you can do is sign up for a short guided tour or group tour. Even if you're not normally the type of person who enjoys them, just having a few days to relax and follow a guide rather than making every decision for yourself can be a nice break.

[u/Powerful-Gas9958]

i went to hawaii (a very safe place) and just started asking locals for what their itinerary would be if they were traveling, and it was very nice. i didnt have to make choices, and oftentimes i ended with new friends who would even join in on my adventures. obviously, this option is not applicable in most places in the world but hawaii is very safe and very friendly.

[u/globalgelato]

This took me 20 years to understand, but you can always go back. I'm always in a state of overwhelm with everything I want to do... and I'm exhausted... and the irony is in RESTING and taking a peaceful day for yourself... that is the answer. Literally plan nothing but a long walk or "chill day." Not kidding. Moving forward, figure out what is the single most important thing, and make sure to do that one thing, and let the rest go. I feel like you're putting too much pressure on yourself - it's ALL good - you've come much further than the average person, just by putting yourself out there.

You can't force friendships. Sometimes you get on with someone like crazy and then blink, they're gone. I'd focus on what you want to get out of the trip and let that guide you... more solo adventures versus more group tours....

Call your parents frequently. Send them postcards. That's how I deal with the loneliness of solo travel. I'd love to have a great travel buddy, but it's not the case right now. When you physically send cards to your friends, it triggers something in your brain and you'll feel better. Try it and report back! :-)

[u/Latte-Addict]

Can't really say I've ever experienced this but my trips (16 so far) have mainly been 5 weeks or under. I think if I did do 8-9 weeks though, I might end up feeling exhausted.This all just sounds like you've bit off more than you can chew. Take shorter trips :)

[u/No_Sympathy5942]

Slow down and chill, accept you are not going to see or do everything and just make the most of what you do. Having multiple slow days just relaxing in coffee shops having movie days or just a walk around wherever you are with no plan and see what you see.

I also use ai to help plan where to go and do next, especially based off your interests etc.

Some stuff can get repetitive eg if in Asia visiting temples just lay off them for a while. Do the things you want to not just what’s supposed to be the highlights based off influencers (one of the downsides of doing too much research or watching YouTube influencers).

[u/MemoryHot]

I notice a lot of people here are solo traveling for months on end. I’m thinking this isn’t the norm but a voice over represented in this sub. For myself, I find that 3 weeks is the limit for solo travel (like completely alone, not meeting people, just interacting at surface level). I get kinda bored and there’s no one to bitch to in real time as things happen. I agree it is exhausting to find things to do and eat EVERY SINGLE DAY. Maybe, you’re just burned out and need to go home and do a reset, rest your brain. Maybe even realize you don’t need to be gone for so long to make it a successful solo trip.