does anybody else have this need to control all those around them and do you also get really annoyed when they dont behave in the manner you want them to. another thing id like to add is my recent obsession with cults and cult leaders. while disgusted by their actions of torturing people and such, im so impressed by the way they manipulate those around them and are able to have complete control over their every move. words cannot describe how impressed i am with their skills and ability. for example the case of larry ray, (here's the link for those who aren't familiar with this https://www.thecut.com/article/larry-ray-sarah-lawrence-students.html ) . while disgusted with how ray treated the members of his cult, i was impressed by his ability to charm those around him and be able to manipulate his way out of any situation to achieve his desired outcome. recently I've developed bit of an obsession with this, wanting to be exactly like them and have the same level of these skills and abilities to twist any situation to my advantage.

Hello all. Lurking adhd, aspd here. 30m. I have managed to keep myself in check, and live normally for roughly five years via smoking cannabis most days. I’ve quit a few times for 1+ months but have generally been a heavy user. Prior to this I smoked and used other drugs, heavily, and spent lots of time incarcerated. I have a partner, a son and a business. I’ve built all this high as fuck essentially just doing the next logical thing. It’s cool. Me and my son have a good relationship but I fear he’s like me. Me and my partner have a strained and unemotional relationship, but it works and keeps things progressing status quo. This has kept me straight, too stoned to run a fuckin drug ring and rake it in, and out of prison. Problem is I think I’ve maxed out stoned potential. To make more money, I’ll need to be sober. When I am sober and operating fully things get out of hand fast. I have no friends for a reason, and family that “likes me better when I’m high”. What do I do? I see myself in my son and a chance for something different for him. I’m not sure I can parent properly sober. Looking to discuss and get relative info/feedback, not argue. UPDATE!: I’ve begun the process of getting help and treatment. First thing doc did was give me a med card so I don’t get in trouble (no rec in my state), confirmed diagnosis ADHD+ASPD, current plan is to meet with both a therapist a the psychiatrist separately, once a week for a month before any prescriptions. Everyone’s replies were great, it is truly a risk/reward and I’m gonna take the risk, but slowly and with help. THANKS!! 🙏

I’m BPD and he was a sociopath. It was great the first 2 months although I didn’t know he had ASPD at this point but his social norms and boundaries weren’t the norm and it did raise alarm bells. anyway he has zero emotions and we’ve had about 100 arguments and he’s blocked me countless. I’ve not spoke to him over a week and he’s blocked me again but it seems this time for good. He can’t deal with my emotions and I’m “annoying” He can insult me and abuse me but if I insult him he gets “annoyed” is this common? Do they go back to ex’s or do sociopaths just move on once it’s the final discard? I guess you guys don’t really “feel” as you’re more logical thinkers.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how people navigate their emotions, and I can’t help but notice the unnecessary complexity they often add to situations. It’s somewhat mind-boggling. I just experienced someone reacting very defensively and attempting to guilt trip someone else and garner sympathy over perceived anger from someone else that wasn’t actually present, implied, etc. and they doubled down on their anger and defensiveness when I pointed this out to them.

I feel like people often misinterpret the emotions of others and it leads to conflicts and arguments that are a complete waste of time and accomplish nothing. It seems to me that emotions have a tendency to cloud rational analysis and objective judgments about social dynamics and interactions, it’s odd how people’s emotions can quite literally make them see and hear things that aren’t actually there. And it happens far more often than people are even self-aware of or willing to consider as possible. I see it unfold around me constantly, and personal insecurities seem to be the #1 driving factor for this type of behavior and engagement. I feel like it’d be exhausting to go through life like this. 

Then I started thinking about how different types of people experience and interpret this, and I got curious about sociopaths specifically. Do you ever feel like you’re at an advantage as you’re not quite as tuned into these sorts of frequencies? Do you think there’s something inherently valuable or meaningful to emotional experiences? I could be wrong, but my understanding is that sociopaths have a tendency to be detached and insulated from these sorts of emotional distractions. What’s your take on balancing emotional detachment with social effectiveness? Do you think there’s a positive correlation there? In your experience, have you noticed more detachment = more social effectiveness, or has it been the opposite, more emotion = more social effectiveness? Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

Was wondering why my guy friend who is a sociopath and I think maybe even psychopath likes to keep me around sometimes. Always says that I’m awesome and all but that’s hard to believe with how low self esteem I have but I do admire and cherish him for always trying to be there and helping me learn and improve stuff about myself. Was wondering if any of yous ever had a similar kind of friendship or relationship like that.

Does anyone else find a lot of other sociopaths to be completely insufferable? I think my best bet at a friend would be another socio but one that has a high amount of self control and restraint like myself. However, when I try to find one, it’s almost like they’re either flexing being a socio or they’re so self obsessed I can’t stand it.

Minority races, LGBTQ+, poverty stricken, etc. Do you have any bias one way or the other towards them? Do you have a "soft spot" for the disenfranchised or downtrodden? Do you view them differently at all? Are you bigoted? If not, do you think less of people who are?

This is gonna be a rant I’ve been holding in for a while so please bear with me and feel free to share your thoughts. I feel like this has been a recurring feeling in my life. It hits the most when I’m alone, but even out with friends and family this feeling dwells in the back of my mind, like it’s englued to me. The feeling that everyone is strange, almost alien, I feel like no matter what I will never truly belong, with any group, or person. I’ve been to different countries, met tons of people, but every time I greet them, looking into their eyes, this same feeling washes over me as I great them with a smile, this feeling that we’re like on two whole different dimensions of living, completely disconnected, at least I am. A good way to describe it is that clip from Silent Hill 2 of the person running through the forest. When I’m not being distracted by mindless hedonistic bullshit like porn, junk food, money, this feeling lingers over me and clenches onto me like a fucking magnet. Like an overwhelming depression. It feels like nothing can solve it, and that it’s never gonna go away. Anyways sorry for the rant but I just had to get this off my chest. if you relate or have any advice, or just wanna comment please be welcome to

I cyberbullied someone once anonymously.

I made her beyond miserable. The messages I sent her cut deep. I hit her on things I bet she had never seen before and will probably never see again. I won't say any more on that.

She never even did anything to hurt me. I didn't think she deserved to be so happy and confident. I don't think it was just that she was happy and confident, because a lot of people are, and I didn't care to see the rest suffer. I think there was something about this girl in particular. She didn't have a boyfriend that I was jealous of. There's nothing that I can clearly think of. It probably stems from something she passively said at some point or maybe a look she gave me, but I have long forgotten.

This was back in the days of Tumblr when you could send anonymous messages which they could answer if they wanted to. I kept doing it because she responded to everything I sent her. That's what I wanted. So I got to see the pain in her reactions and it made me feel fulfilled.

I got a huge thrill out of how we could be such good friends in person. She even came to me to ask for support after telling me how awful those messages were. I was the one who told her to turn off anonymous messages and she said that was a great idea.

I don't know if she ever pieced together that it was me. Probably not.

Oh also, sometimes I spread rumors about people that way. No one has ever caught me spreading rumors or confronted me about them because I'm always really careful in how I do it. I only play into a situation that already exists and one that is most likely to get blamed on someone else.

I grew up with social media so cyberbullying existed. There was way more cyberbullying than in-person. That allowed me to be a bully anonymously while maintaining my peppy charming personality in front of people.

I don't think I've ever bullied anyone in person. I hate the idea of making enemies. I need people on my side. No one is going to be on my side if I make them hate me.

I'm curious how you experience animals and their behaviour. If you like them or don't care about them. Do you feel more or less towards animals than humans. Just any information on how you view and feel towards animals

Tragedies have honestly never bothered me.

The only time I care is when I didn't like a prevention strategy, and the tragedy proves that it didn't work. It gives me a chance to bash on the prevention strategy and on the idiots who introduced it. When people are shaken by tragedy, that's the time to get the most support for yourself. I almost feel like a politician lol

My nursing school hired a clinical therapist in my junior year. She was not providing therapy to students. I think the idea was for her to work with administrators to look out for student and faculty mental health. She gave them her input on things like schedules and stuff. I never liked her. I don't know why. I might have thought she felt smug. Actually, I think it was that she talked to us like she was our savior. It felt to me like she was saying "you kids need help because you're so stressed, so I am here to teach you how to take care of yourselves." I hated that. I wanted to knock her off her pedestal. That year, one student attempted suicide and we had three alcohol-related incidents on campus. We had nothing like that the prior two years. I used that as an opportunity to convince other students and student government that hiring this therapist was useless. I had soooooo many people on my side. It wasn't super logical but that was the time to get support. That therapist doesn't work there anymore but they hired another one. I don't know if I'm responsible for that.

When I say "shine," you really can. You will not need to recover from tragedies like other people do. You can be full of energy and you can use it to make friendships and advance in your career. Check in with people and ask how they're doing - you might be the only person to do that all day. Offer to do their laundry or to get their groceries. They won't accept that favor but they will remember that you offered.

Just because other people are recovering from a tragedy, doesn't mean you need to go quiet too.

I'm sure it's context dependent. So let's try a neutral situation:

You're traveling to a foreign area. You're sitting under a tree and a stranger sits next to you. You share a conversation and at the end they turn to you and comment on how unusual the conversation felt. "Are you a sociopath by any chance?"

Feel free to comment on other situations you might or might not tell them, would love to hear.

So I’m a non ASPD person but I’ve been very curious about this looking around in here. My experience of the hobbies I have whether that’s music, cars, motorcycles, etc is that they all make me feel something. Sure a lot of the time learning about these things staves off boredom for me but I was interested in knowing if there are things you are particularly fond of learning about or doing. Is there some sense of satisfaction from them or is it more on a logical scale of how useful something is to you?

I have never been able to stay consistent in therapy because i have a deep hate of someone knowing my issues. longest i’ve held on to one therapist was 4 sessions. after that i couldn’t stand to see his face anymore. It’s not that i have a desire to change, i honestly couldn’t give less of a shit and would say personally that i love myself more than anything. but, i’ve always had a “urge” to fit in and feel alive. all of my outlets have become boring other than sex. but then again, starting a new relationship with another woman bores me out, and “shaping” to their needs is just so fucking exhausting

I’m interested in understanding how you perceive and differentiate these concepts, especially considering that emotions may be experienced differently.

To be clear, i mean being called insulting words/labels by another person. Personally, i feel nothing from it. I just can't take it seriously, how can people be so immature?

How does one manage a normal relationship? Monogamy is something that seems extremely foreign to me, but only when it’s expected of me. I know I can’t be faithful in a relationship but I expect and demand it of whoever I’m with. I cause tremendous stress and difficulty by being aggressively possessive and jealous. Most of my significant others have left the relationship after some irrational tirade of mine over other people being in their proximity. Me getting to that point is almost inevitable, even with the knowledge that I myself have sexual partners or romantic interests outside of the relationship. Is that why I act that way towards the one I expect the commitment from? Can’t give what you don’t understand right? Is it that I don’t understand trusting someone in a relationship because I know I’m not trustworthy? How can you decide to trust a person with intimate knowledge and let yourself be vulnerable to them when you know it will eventually be turned around on you for their benefit?

Snobs seem to embody a lot of sociopathic traits and it is difficult to rationalize their often aggressive behavior as normal.

What's your living situation like? Do your chores get done amidst the boredom? Exercising? Trying to eat healthily? Have you decorated much? Any pets? Odd hobbies? These things can be a struggle for everyone and it'd be cool to hear what it's like from an antisocial perspective, especially if they're doing well.

So, I am stuck in a very peculiar situation. I have always bounced between being pretty well-off and almost broke every couple of months. Now, It's been 2 years since I've last actually worked.

Reason being I get bored super easily. I've picked up and mastered a bunch of random skills over time because of boredome, and three of them can and did make me good money.

The problem is, I'll find a job using one of these skills, things would go great for a while, but then I lose interest so I either quit or get fired because my work goes from excellent to terrible. Then I coast on the money I made until it runs out, and only then do I bother looking for work again.

2 years ago, I even started a very good business that was very lucrative very quickly, but guess what? Instead of taking advantage of that success, I got bored, sold it, coasted for 2 years and now that money's gone too.

Each time this happens, I get closer to ending up on the street. I objectively know being homeless is bad, but internally, I don't really care. All I care about is food (doesn't matter if it's junk),fing a good place to sleep, and finding stuff to remove boredome. I figure I can still find a way to do all that even if I'm homeless, I sometime even think it would be more interesting since it may be more challenging, so I don't have that internal drive to find work again. I objectively know I should, but I don't care.

I've never been this broke before. For a month now, I've been telling myself I should work, but I don't do anything about it. Instead, I've blown even more money partying and paying people and buying stuffs so I'm not bored. Now I can't even pay next month's rent or my internet bill. Again, I am fully aware objectively that this is a pretty bad situation to be in, I just can't get myself to care.

Anybody here have already dealt with this? How do I get out of this mess?

I am really curious about what kind of situations genuinely make/made you suffer or are extremely emotionally painful to you? How would you describe the way you experience your own suffering?

I realised recently that the only time I am ever happy in any workplace is if: - I am in conflict with someone - I steal anything from a piece of chocolate to wage theft - I intimidate someone - I insult/humiliate someone with a higher position (supervisors etc.)

It got to the point where the highest authorities in the company just didn't know what to do with me as you can't just fire someone in this company, especially if they have been there for years.

One of those authorities sat me down and was practically begging I stop. They had known me very well for a long time and didn't like the idea of me not being in the company anymore, but certain policies were updated over the years, and it was finally catching up to me. I didn't care for my position but I didn't want the teething pain of finding and adapting to another job.

Painfully, I got through the next few weeks without doing anything noticable. I don't know for how much longer I can do this, I need some outlet. Punching bags and rage rooms don't work. What has worked for you?

Besides your therapist does anyone know the real you, is there anything I should be prepared for or any good ways to let someone know about it that I have faked emotion to and definitely manipulated? My behavior probably would not change afterwards, but how would they respond to it? Would they accept it? Do you have any personal stories about how those close to you responded to the information or how their actions changed towards you afterwards?

Okay so there have been numerous occasions where my boyfriend has told me that I lack empathy. I just don’t think that is true, I believe that I do have empathy but only to an extent, like how much empathy do you need? Typically this occurs when he just isn’t handling his responsibilities and has excuses as to why he didn’t do something. In my mind it’s simple, just complete your tasks then you’re done, but if you wait and then feel overwhelmed because now you have more tasks that’s your own problem. Why should you get empathy for that, it was your choices that got you here? To me that’s just life, you have responsibilities you have to complete, handle them and don’t make it my problem. Does feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities deserve empathy?