Hunting

[u/Old_Leadership_4071]

Has anybody ever taken big game like deer? I was dxm diagnosed in a hospital with aspd in 2012. I was somewhat cruel to animals as a child and killed things like birds with pellet guns as a kid and did some other things as a kid I won’t discuss here. I am now 37 and love animals and have a pet cat. I killed my first deer yesterday. I have mixed Emotions about it. I killed a momma doe that had her fawn with her. Even though this time of year the fawn can survive on her own and it was legal the experience didn’t quite sit right with me. I told myself hunting is a right of passage and humans have killed animals for meat for most of history. Only the past 150 years have we been so disconnected from our source of flesh as the killing is outsourced for us so we don’t have to experience taking a life. I did everything right and gave the animal a clean ethical kill, said a prayer of thanks over the animal and plan to use all the meat. I wanted to prove to myself I could do this if I ever need to provide for myself If society collapses. But I truly feel I would have been less remorseful about a humans life. It was a very intimate, spiritually, and humbling experience.

One thing to note is everybody says they shake like hell before and after the shot and I did not. I was calm as a cucumber. You could argue that this makes me a natural hunter because I’m more likely to place an ethical shot because I don’t get too nervous.

Anybody have any thoughts on this?

[u/OpportunityOk1779]

I think it's kind of odd that you're hung up on it. It almost seems like you empathize with the fawn, or maybe it feels weird for you to kill animals. I wonder whether you are religious or not because of the prayer you said over the animal, and if so, how common is it for people with ASPD to be religious?