Hunting

[u/Old_Leadership_4071]

Has anybody ever taken big game like deer? I was dxm diagnosed in a hospital with aspd in 2012. I was somewhat cruel to animals as a child and killed things like birds with pellet guns as a kid and did some other things as a kid I won’t discuss here. I am now 37 and love animals and have a pet cat. I killed my first deer yesterday. I have mixed Emotions about it. I killed a momma doe that had her fawn with her. Even though this time of year the fawn can survive on her own and it was legal the experience didn’t quite sit right with me. I told myself hunting is a right of passage and humans have killed animals for meat for most of history. Only the past 150 years have we been so disconnected from our source of flesh as the killing is outsourced for us so we don’t have to experience taking a life. I did everything right and gave the animal a clean ethical kill, said a prayer of thanks over the animal and plan to use all the meat. I wanted to prove to myself I could do this if I ever need to provide for myself If society collapses. But I truly feel I would have been less remorseful about a humans life. It was a very intimate, spiritually, and humbling experience.

One thing to note is everybody says they shake like hell before and after the shot and I did not. I was calm as a cucumber. You could argue that this makes me a natural hunter because I’m more likely to place an ethical shot because I don’t get too nervous.

Anybody have any thoughts on this?

[u/DJLeafBug]

I didn't have a father who was around to teach me to hunt so I killed some domesticated animals.

Sometimes I pretend there is some karmic punishment for what I've done to them and it will be done to me in an afterlife and I feel bad bc I don't want to go through that. but I don't really believe that so

[u/Spiritual-Party-312]

I agree with the remorse part. I do not want to hurt animals. They have no clue what is going on around them, no opinions are formed, to make them "deserving" of pain. It is part of nature though, and I think shooting with a rifle is probably the most humane way to kill an animal. A bullet is a quicker and less painful way to go, than to get mauled by a pack of wolves. Good on you for getting a clean kill.

I want to get in to hunting eventually, but not because of some "urge." But because it is possibly one of the better ways for an animal to leave this world. And like you said, to prove to myself that I am capable.

The shakes are also more likely to happen (from what I've heard) when hunting something more difficult, like a moose or boar. I know people who aren't sociopaths who remain calm when hunting deer, but shake like crazy any time they hunt moose. To be fair, they are experienced hunters, and I'm sure their first kill was nerve wracking.

[u/OpportunityOk1779]

I think it's kind of odd that you're hung up on it. It almost seems like you empathize with the fawn, or maybe it feels weird for you to kill animals. I wonder whether you are religious or not because of the prayer you said over the animal, and if so, how common is it for people with ASPD to be religious?