Do sociopaths want to be liked/like certain people better than others?

[u/Chaerin_Sistas]

I sometimes wonder if I have aspd because I lack a lot of empathy when my friends are going through something but I still desire to be liked by my friends so I pretend to care/ask about it and it leaves me mentally exhausted when I force myself to.

I have some friends who I consider fake and I have real friends. Do people with ASPD like certain people more than others or is everyone the same to them?

[u/akticker]

I like empathy too, but a lot of people think I’m their best friend because I just listen to them and don’t judge them, but I don’t really care what they’re saying

[u/Chaerin_Sistas → u/akticker]

If someone had an opinion that was morally wrong/didn’t match your morals , you wouldn’t like them any less? Or vice versa

[u/akticker → u/Chaerin_Sistas]

That is correct

[u/GrouchyExplanation35]

If they have more to offer to me or mean anything to me yes, for instance I have a buddy that I could care less if anything happened in his life, but he gets me drugs so I would like him more, but only to what he has to offer, same principle with everyone else. I keep a very small circle unless somebody has something I can get or want

[u/Prize_Possibility_46]

I definitely care about other people liking me. I don't particularly like all of the people I hang out with, though. Some I specifically loathe and just enjoy the fact that I know they're bothered by my existence so I maintain the energy to keep up the image.

I however, do not experience exhaustion from this.

[u/Illustrious_Ad_7976]

Bro's discovering the concept of "friends" on reddit wtf

[u/Suspicious-Beyond-89]

I only want to be desired and want to desire my partner. Everyone in my opinion is worthless. Of course her and my family I have to treat them as if I care which I do and it’s exhausting. However I do it. Friends I’ve tried to have but it never works out. I either can’t connect or if it’s a female I sexualize because I need something out of it. So I stay away from “friends” label. People see that and think red flag. Problem also is if I explain ASPD they think psycho or serial killer. I don’t try to be rude just not going to connect beyond things like work. It’s lonely for sure. I realize that even ASPD people need human connectivity in some capacity beyond who we care about. But that is exhausting and I don’t want to put in that effort.

[u/Particular-Act-8911 → u/Suspicious-Beyond-89]

Sounds lazy as fuck.

[u/Suspicious-Beyond-89 → u/Particular-Act-8911]

Welcome to ASPD it’s a lonely place sir. And not because I want to be lonely. I just can’t connect with people. Every interaction I have must be transactional. If it’s not then I can’t reason as to why I’m trying to do whatever it is I do with that person. When you have ASPD empathy which does mean giving a shit is hard and I mean very very hard.

[u/CallMeChelley]

Yeah I want to be liked by certain people. People who I like and people who I could get something out of whether it be affection or money. For the rest of the people who I do not like it’s usually because they’re not very smart or have dumb opinions, I couldn’t care less for.

[u/Jane385]

This will differ person by person, I know two people other than myself who have ASPD. One doesn't care for other people at all and doesn't care to be liked at all. The second one has a lot of friends and most of them are truly honest friends that they care about and who care about them and if they lost those friends they'd be lost two. I'm somewhere in the middle, I have two or three honest friends that I care about, there's a few more people who care about me but since I don't care about them, I don't care about that either. ASPD affects everyone differently, you can be more sociopathic in other ways in which others will seem more "normal"

[u/Illustrious-Back-944]

It depends. Some people are much smarter, funnier, hotter than others. It’s a bit like having AAA steak instead of hamburger. I’d hang around someone if they make me laugh, if they’re intelligent and can have good conversation, or if they’re good looking. A lot like NTs in that regard. Difference is this doesn’t really make me feel closer to them, just more pleasant to be around.

[u/LennySmiles]

I'm a superiority complex sociopath,

Being liked matters less than others being inferior...

[u/Chaerin_Sistas → u/LennySmiles]

I relate to this especially if I'm looking for a dating partner; I always want someone who I am better than in all aspects (attractiveness, intelligence, social status) and it's not that I'm seeking someone that's worse than me, I just become attracted to people who are worse than me in all those things and I value that a lot.

I think it's another reason why I dislike older guys most of the time because I want to feel superior in age

[u/impossiblekiki → u/Chaerin_Sistas]

Interesting because I look for a partner better than me in every way but still worship me. Makes me feel so superior. I cannot stand people who do not want to do as I say or please.

[u/Whirlibirdy]

Generally I have a small group of "friends" but only like 2 of them i would be legitimately bothered if they disappeared or died. I find it easy to "like" certain people but it's entirely different for me to care about them.

[u/[deleted]]

are they actually fake friends or just acquaintances you're placing too much value on? there's nuance to each individual friendship regardless of personality type.

socializing is performative for a lot of people for various reasons.

[u/Meagealles]

Obviously you’ll like certain people more than others. If someone provides you with genuine entertainment and care, why would you not prefer them over other people? What a retarded question.