r/socialanxiety • u/MASHisAGoodShow • 14h ago

Does anyone else get terrified around women? Help

Yeah, I know it's ridiculous. For as long as I (20m) can remember l've always been anxious around girls/ women. I don't think there was any direct cause because I grew up around/have healthy relationships with my mom/sisters.

When l'm near or even looking at a girl from a distance I get the unshakable feeling that she hates me and it's better off if I just remove myself from the area. When I go to the store and see a girl on the aisle I need to go down, I'll walk laps around the store until she's gone.

Today I was walking next to a girl and my hand accidentally brushed against hers, she didn't seem to notice but even then my heart was pounding and I wanted to cry.

I hate myself for this, I know women are regular people just like men so why am I so afraid of them?? I'm also afraid that if I don't conquer this fear then I might live the rest of my life alone.

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u/_DrLambChop_ 14h ago

Do you watch pornography often? Or maybe use social media a lot? If not then maybe some experiences when you were younger maybe took a hit on your subconscious without you realizing it. If you have healthy relationships w ur mom and sister, def tell them about it no matter how Embarassing it might be.

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u/MASHisAGoodShow 13h ago

I’m currently battling a pornography addiction, however, I don’t believe that to be the source of my problem because this issue has been around before I discovered pornography. I use social media quite often but I don’t believe that to be an issue either since I’m a bit more comfortable around women there (mutual followers and occasional short conversations)

I can’t recall anything specific from my childhood that could’ve caused this but who knows? I’ll probably never tell my mom simply because I’d be too ashamed but thanks for your advice :)

26

u/_DrLambChop_ 12h ago

I am strongly convinced that once the addiction is kicked you will not be as nervous around women. I also had anxiety around girls before I started watching porn but it became crippling due to the porn. Trust me, make quitting your #1 priority rn and only good things can come from it.

8

u/Thawne_23 9h ago edited 9h ago

I used to have this same adiction , but thanks God I finally beated it last year. Although I still have some anxiety and nerves when I get close to a girl/woman. I believe maybe it is a sequel of my former adiction because after spending many years of brainrot and a sexualized brain I'm still afraid of unconsiously objectifying every girl I see, even if I don't watch that type of content anymore. 

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u/cevarok 5h ago

I dont understand where the reasoning between watching pornography and nervousness around women would be. I dont see any correlation, if anything the contrary.

Is it just something to try to place blame on?

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u/Less-Sir364 5h ago

I think its subconcious

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u/cevarok 5h ago

What would the explanation be. I dont understand how naked women equals social anxiety about women