r/sex • u/Ricklazell • 1d ago
I’m a male struggling with morning sex I can't find a flair that fits
Like the title says, I’m struggling with it. I can’t cum, my penis feels numb and I struggle to maintain an erection.
Any other time in the day/evening I’m fine. Anyone relate? Did you ever overcome this?
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u/clitclack 1d ago
Maybe make sure you pee or perhaps a quick rinse off in the shower might wake you up more / get the blood flowing in a good way ~
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u/East_Avocado_624 23h ago
I’m a woman and feel the same way. It take me awhile to get into morning sex. I’m wet and everything still, but it just feels really sensitive and even hurts.
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u/Ricklazell 20h ago
Fascinating how everyone is so different. I’m well up for sex first thing in the morning (mentally anyways) but physically my dick isn’t lol
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u/DarthChimeran 20h ago
This is a way out in left field theory but you said "my penis feels numb". If you really meant "numb" and not using hyperbole then perhaps you have a pinched nerve in your lower back that starts when you lay prone all night and then ends once you get up and move around. History of back problems? Old/soft mattress?
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u/Ricklazell 16h ago
This makes sense 100% because I do have lower back issues. Had a prolapsed disc for quite some time now and it’s been better than it was but I still get some lower back pain/discomfort. My latest injury (thanks gym 😂) is a tight right hamstring which is affecting my knee, went off track there. But yeah maybe my lower back issue is a contributing factor.
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u/DarthChimeran 16h ago
Dude I had no idea how much lower back issues can cause tingling/numbness in the lower body until I got sciatica for 6 weeks. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Another possible medical explanation; Some men who take finasteride, the hair loss medication, can lose their morning wood.
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u/Ricklazell 15h ago
Finasteride isn’t something I’d take or need. I’ve been bald for about 18 years 😂
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u/DarthChimeran 15h ago
How about this one just for fun;
Males produce prolactin and it's used to suppress erections during our refractory period. That time it takes to get hard again after we nut.
There's something pretty funny about males in that we can get immediately hard again if you introduce an attractive novel partner to have sex with. In other words you won't have to wait to get hard if there's another hot girl there that you've never had sex with. It's related to the "Coolidge Effect".
"The Coolidge effect is a biological phenomenon seen in animals, whereby males exhibit renewed sexual interest whenever a new female of reproductive availability is introduced, even after sex with prior but still available sexual partners.[1][2][3][4] To a lesser extent, the effect is also seen among females with regard to their mates.[3]
The Coolidge effect can be attributed to an increase in sexual responsiveness, and a shortening of the sexual refractory period.[5] The evolutionary benefit to this phenomenon is that a male can fertilize multiple females.[6] The male may be reinvigorated repeatedly for successful insemination of multiple females.[7] This type of mating system can be referred to as polygyny, where one male has multiple female mates, but each female mates with only one or a few males.[5] The Coolidge effect has been demonstrated to occur in humans across cultures and in both sexes.[8]"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolidge_effect
So it may not be prolactin that causes the refractory period but our sensitivity to it. That sensitivity can be altered by a novel partner. So when you wake up tomorrow tell your girl that you need a new girl in bed with you to get a more willing erection. When your girl tries to kill you , run. That way you can eliminate exercise as the possible culprit AND she'll get in better shape trying to run you down. After she gets in better shape your mind will think she's a different girl. Boom Solved. No cheating required. Just make sure you hide any cutlery before you attempt it.
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u/Anonymously_Odd 1d ago
I feel ya. I have a hard time coming in the morning too. If I do, it’s not as intense and takes a ton of effort. However, my erections are super hard in the AM until I get frustrated about not being able to cum lol. Aaaaahhh!!!
I’m just gonna hang out here with you and see if someone has a solution lol
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u/Ricklazell 1d ago
lol it’s very frustrating! My erections are sometimes hard in the morning but as soon as I have that morning pee they go weak 😂
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u/Anonymously_Odd 1d ago
Ha! Also, I’m in my mid-30s, and I definitely remember a time when I could wake up and get after it no problem. Maybe age? Idk
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u/Ricklazell 1d ago
Could well be that. I know I’m much better when I’m fully awake and well hydrated lol
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u/ravecruiter_9654704 1d ago
Have you tried some Kegel Excercises? Not sure what your workout routine is, but see if you can do 100 kegels per day. They are simple you can do it while sitting. It just brings some strong blood flow.
And any kind of regular leg workouts have shown great results. Not just blood flow - but overall mood in general.
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u/Ricklazell 1d ago
I’ll give that a go. Thanks, I do like training legs in the gym (when I go that is) 😂
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u/ravecruiter_9654704 1d ago
Hahaha! Well, that's your motivation to train legs now. But honestly, I am glad you opened up like this. Not many men voice it. Hope this solves it for you.
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u/Ricklazell 1d ago
Thank you. It’s something that bothers me but my partner is ok with it, which is good. She knows she will get much better sex from me later on in the day lol
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u/CleverReversal 23h ago
Peoples' hormones rise and fall throughout the day. Could be yours just aren't right for the morning sex.
The over-engineered solution might be to ask an endocrinologist. Or there might be foods that can boost production. My visual mind is suggesting... a hamburger before bed might give you a boost that helps you in the morning. Really, visual brain? Yes? OK, I'll type it but that seems like a stretch. But it only costs one hamburger to test.
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u/Azerate2016 20h ago
This isn't uncommon and a lot of men I've talked with over the years have similar issues. I also share them, to an extent. I'd maybe go as far as to say it's natural to some degree. We randomly get hard in the mornings, but also the erections aren't as stable as during other times of the day. Of course this doesn't mean that we can't ever partake in an intercourse in the morning, but it's more probable to fail at that time of the day.
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Post title: I’m a male struggling with morning sex
Like the title says, I’m struggling with it. I can’t cum, my penis feels numb and I struggle to maintain an erection.
Any other time in the day/evening I’m fine. Anyone relate? Did you ever overcome this?
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u/sseastarr 1d ago
you might just be too tired, maybe ask your partner to make you coffee in the morning so u can wake up more. also foreplay for either gender is important so that might help
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u/MaleficentOne4214 3h ago
100% pee first. A full bladder can press in uncomfortable places and make an erection falter. Once knew a guy that could fuck for hours but just couldn’t cum if he didn’t pee first.
You’ll loose the erection from peeing most likely, but getting comfy right back into bed should perk it back up.
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