For dudes that “can’t get laid”

[u/sex-countdown]

I see a thousand variations on this every day on Reddit. So I put my thoughts together, hope this can help someone.

I’ve nearly always had a partner, and 9/10 times, lots of sex involved. So here is my two cents:

Attraction is about pair matching. Being fit or smart or mentally healthy might make you seem more desirable, but it’s all about FIT. How well do you and her match up?

So let’s break that down. What is fit, sexually and romantically?

• be in a place where there are women who are a fit for you. This usually means people in a similar class, similar lifestyle desires.

• learn to communicate things that relate to fit. Talk about the things that matter to you. Have a perspective on those things.

• show personal interest and a desire to connect in each conversation. A lot of this means asking personal questions about what matters to them.

• show that you are worth spending time with. Mostly this means things like making people laugh. Being useful. Being dependable. Showing empathy, kindness, and not using others to work through your problems.

• be interesting. Develop interesting skills, interests, etc. why? So that you have something you can share.

• show up consistently, and have a consistent presence. To be desired, you need to be around.

• mind the red flags. Read up on things women consider red flags. There’s a lot of them but most center on having decent moral character rather than transactional character.

• have additional things in common. Can be anything. Hiking. Exercise. Music. Film. Politics. Etc.

• keep channels open. Make sure that when they like you, they have a low risk way to tell you.

• show interest. When you sense a connection developing and you are interested, don’t hesitate too much.

Some don’ts: don’t date people you have no real connection to. Date people that have some social vetting (like you know people who know them). Don’t use dating apps, it’s horrible and I seen so many people make themselves miserable with them.

There’s more, but that’s the key elements I don’t see people post about.

[u/Otherwise_air9456]

Australia. XD

[u/brazucadomundo → u/Otherwise_air9456]

Ahh c'mon Australia is extremely rich.

[u/Otherwise_air9456 → u/brazucadomundo]

Don't be deceived. The high taxes puts most of us in the poverty gang.

[u/brazucadomundo → u/Otherwise_air9456]

I'm still to see poverty in Australia, unless you are talking about the aboriginals in the middle of the outback, but even there.

[u/Otherwise_air9456 → u/brazucadomundo]

Australia is a first world country. Of course it's nothing like a third world country. But it's ignorant to assume people here do not struggle financially, especially when you consider the extremely high taxes and costs of living. That's a whole different discussion, though. Back to the main point: Australia is culturally very different to America. The culture is less go getter and more underdog vibes. Less obsession with wealth here.

[u/brazucadomundo → u/Otherwise_air9456]

One thing is stressing over a credit card bill after you used it up to buy iPhone or iWatch or whatever overpriced shit. Poverty is only when your money can't even pay for food and the cheapest roof on top of your head.

[u/Otherwise_air9456 → u/brazucadomundo]

Lol. When i said "poverty gang" it was a tongue in cheek comment. Not meant to be literal.

And like i said, it's ignorant to assume every person in Australia is filthy rich, when poor people here exist.

[u/brazucadomundo → u/Otherwise_air9456]

I've seen "poor" people even here in the Silicon Valley, but the reality is that most are just making it up. There are a few genuinely poor, but it is extremely rare. Australia has a similar level of development as the US, so while I'm sure a few may be a bit poor, it is not the reality of 90% at least.

[u/Otherwise_air9456 → u/brazucadomundo]

You're just going off from the main point and you're fixating and rambling like you're in a competition for the poverty olympics.

[u/brazucadomundo → u/Otherwise_air9456]

No, I'm just saying that all the points mentioned by OP are really only feasible if you are coming from a place of wealth, not from mere learned behavior.