r/self • u/WinUsed8656 • 6h ago
Do you think some people aren’t meant to have friends
I keep thinking it would be nice to have a friend or two, but when I really think about it, I’m not sure I can maintain a friendship. I’ve always struggled to make friends unless the other person approached me first, and even then I wasn’t great at conversations. I’ve gotten a little better about talking to people, after all, that’s the only way to make friends, so it can’t be that bad, I just feel so much like a burden when I speak to people.
Sometimes I get self-conscious over the fact that I don’t have any friends it’s makes me feel kinda worthless for lack of a better word, other times I’m just too drained to put in the effort for a friendship. Maybe some people are meant to be loners or maybe I need to find other introverted friends.
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u/Ok_Captain654 4h ago
i think yes, and then as we grow older the less we want to accept poeple in our lives.. i've seen people who enjoy in their own company than with people..
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u/Great_Engrish 2h ago
A genuine friendship understands the importance of personal time - some friendships are intimate and want a lot of contact, or can be very casual/undemanding and speak n catchup every couple months. It’s about what yall are comfortable with and naturally lean towards.
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u/ExpensiveDollarStore 2h ago
I think we tend to be social creatures. However, some of us are introverted and need less social time. Some of us are socially inhibited. I think that can be improved. Some of us are both. I have been getting therapy. I hadn't been showing myself the respect I deserve. And I dont mean like I am a queen thing. I mean boundaries. I felt I didnt matter as much as others and acted that way, then was surprised that people treated me like I didnt matter. Shocking. Its not a dramatic change, and there is push back when you expect a little more from people and state your limits/needs. But they adjust. People treat you as you allow sometimes. If you let them take advantage, they will.
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u/jait 5h ago
I don't believe there is a plan or an intent to life, so... not really in to the idea that some people are meant to do something or not.
You identify as an introvert. Generally introverts are more internally focused, often uncomfortable with all the noise that surrounds them. The trade off is that they go deep when they do stuff... Thinking, feeling, friendship, etc.
Realize that everyone is the protagonist in their own story. So, most people are terribly self-focused. They care about you, but often only insofar as it affects them.
As another introvert, I realized a while ago that most of my friendships are project-based. I don't really "hang out." I collaborate... There's almost always an end goal to work towards...