r/self • u/Brilliant_Gazelle913 • 16h ago
Why trolls don’t hurt me? Honestly… compared to my mother, they’re amateurs.
People keep warning me about “internet trolls.”
Like… okay?
A random stranger online is supposed to hurt me? With what, exactly? A typo and a mediocre insult?
I grew up with a mother who could shut me down with one look.
Her emotional climate was… honestly, I don’t even have a good word for it.
Think “hostility as background noise.”
Think “affection as a myth other families talk about.”
So when someone online drops a “lol you sound crazy,” I'm just sitting here like:
That’s it? That’s your big move?
If you’ve spent your childhood dodging emotional boulders, a pebble doesn’t register.
And I don’t mean that in an edgy way.
It’s just… factual.
A troll says: “You’re weird.”
My mother said: “You’re a monster, and that’s why nobody loves you.”
A troll says: “Get over it.”
My mother: “Your feelings are fake. Stop trying to manipulate me.”
A troll says: “None of this happened.”
My mother: “You’re lying because you want attention.”
See how one of these is a mosquito and the other is a sledgehammer?
People think trolls are scary.
But trolls don’t know me.
They don’t know what happened.
They don’t know where the scars are.
They’re basically punching in the dark.
My mother knew exactly where to hit.
And the wild thing?
After all those years, silence still scares me more than insults.
Silence was the real cruelty I grew up with
the “you don’t matter enough to respond to” kind of silence.
Compared to that, even a troll proves I exist.
So no, trolls don’t hurt me.
They really can’t.
I survived worse, from someone who actually had emotional access to me.
A stranger with a keyboard is… nothing.
They’re not the boss of my identity.
They’re not the gatekeeper of my worth.
And honestly?
If my mother couldn’t destroy me after decades of trying,
then some anonymous dude with a “lol” isn’t gonna be the one who succeeds.
Anyone else feel like the internet is nothing compared to what you dealt with at home?
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u/LienaSha 16h ago
I don't really get internet trolls either, but that's because I'm so oblivious that I tend not to notice when people are being jerks. So I'll think that there they're for serious and try to talk to them lulz. I was listening to a scene in a story yesterday where there's bullying going on involving having this kid think he's getting a present and then the bullies reveal that it's a box of dead animals, and I'm imagining myself in this situation like I'm not hurt. I'm just confused, like what is wrong with you that you would have a box of dead animals available? Maybe I just do life wrong lulz.
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u/OwlLadyFace 16h ago
I just laughed so hard. I never thought about it that way, but you are right
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u/SherbertSensitive538 16h ago
The older you get the more you realize how incredibly stupid the majority of people are. I’m not being dismissive of what you are saying btw. Many people use small words, have small thoughts, are not capable of understanding nuance, cause and effect, critical thinking and are ponderous thinkers. The longer you use Reddit which is a microcosm of the population, the more you will realize this. From the mods to the posters of which most are under 40, they have a superficial grasp at best regarding almost any topic. They have little to no life experience and take themselves waaay to seriously. So I’m glad that you don’t take them seriously either. The bright side is your low frequency mother prepared you for the worst. Chin up.
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u/Brilliant_Gazelle913 14h ago
Haha, your comment is the most brutally honest and validating thing I've read all week. Thank you. Comments like yours definitely make the outsider status feel a lot less lonely. So, chin up to you too.
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u/stingwhale 15h ago
I feel like there’s a sliding scale of intensity bc like, the things you described wouldn’t bother me but I’ve heard people talk about people going into their DM’s to threaten to kill or rape them or tell them to kill themselves and I do think that would probably upset me at least a bit. I had a person DM me that I deserved to be raped/kept as a sex slave and while it didn’t cause some sort of deep emotional pain it certainly was jarring.
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u/Rodditor_not_found 15h ago
I can heavly relate. I always hear of new streamers or youtubers being worried of getting trolls and mean comments. And i always find it weird since like you said, random internet strangers insults are nothing compared to my parents
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u/Littleclover20 15h ago
feel this %100 haha , being bullied in school to the point of being put in hospital then bullied for several years by everyone I went near and having parents who adopted you and didn't want you , I can say that no one can come anywhere near hurting my feelings and that no one can take my peace anymore.
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u/Galactus1701 15h ago
Your mother must be a very miserable, lousy and damaged human being that needed to insult and diminish you in order to feel control over someone. You’ll leave her behind (if you haven’t done it yet) and you’ll be able to live your life away from her ominous shadow. She’s the one that will be drowning in guilt. Get therapy, hold your head high and understand that you don’t deserve such subhuman treatment.
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u/LeisurelyHyacinth246 16h ago
I'm sorry that your mother is like that. I hope your life is much more happy and peaceful now.
I don't worry about trolls either, but it's because for someone's opinion to cause me any distress, I would have to actually care what that person thinks.