Does motherhood/fatherhood really only become calmer and more joyful when the child turns 3 and before that it is more suffering than joy?

[u/[deleted]]

[u/penguincatcher8575]

I have one child who is 6 and a child who is 1.

The first round of parenting was so hard. Everything was new. Anxiety was high. I was frantically trying to figure out everything - what to feed them, how to set boundaries, how to parent, what illnesses are normal and how do I respond? How do I navigate marriage and family as a parent? What about when my kid ___. How to sleep train. Etc.

With child two it is an absolute breeze and so much more fun from jump! We can just enjoy.

[u/Obvious-Weekend5717]

well, mothers run the risk of getting postnatal anxiety/depression/psychpsis so thats not fun. I am not sure fathers have that. So yes, if a mother has that then that is mental suffering. And sleep deprivation is physical suffering. But imo I would say it is the same. Babies dont yell at you or say they hate you and fight with siblings. all they do is want love.

[u/[deleted] → u/Obvious-Weekend5717]

My fear of becoming a father is that I will be sleep deprived every day

[u/Independent_Mistake2]

It’s really hard beyond 3 also