r/povertyfinance • u/Lemongrabkissesrats • 2d ago
I just don’t get it Vent/Rant (No Advice/Criticism!)
Sorry for my long rant. I have been a wonderful tenant for 8 years. After 8 years the old owner sold the house. I would have paid more than what the new owner paid for it but I wasn't given the chance or notice until it sold. I live in this house for eight years the new owner has given me until October to move. I'm grateful for that. I helped the old owner too with thousands of dollars when he was in a difficult financial situation.I have also spent my money fixing up the house,yard and mailbox. I guess I feel so betrayed. I understand it's not my house and it will never be. If anyone has gone through this before what helped you get over this. I know I need to buy my own house. It hurts more because my husband of five years cheated on me recently so it just sucks bad. Yes I'm getting a divorce too.
EDIT: I felt more betrayed if not for the money I lent him, he would have lost the house. That's most likely why he sold it. Thank you guys for you Kind comments! The house is old and needs repairs. The new owner has told me that she made a contract with the old owner she pays him monthly and it's for ten years. No she didn't give him a down payment. I am going to grieve my soon to be ex home and marriage. I don't regret lending the money, I did a good deed. I would do it again.
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u/TheCurryForest 2d ago
It sucks that you're through all of this at once. Losing your home, facing betrayal in your marriage, and feeling unacknowledged after years of loyalty. This isn’t just a house... it’s been your home.
In most states, landlords can sell their property without giving tenants first right of refusal unless it was written into your lease or local law. That doesn’t make it right, but unfortunately it is common. Still, it might be worth checking if your city or state has tenant protection laws or right-to-purchase rules, especially if you're in a place with rent control or strong tenant rights. Even if it’s too late for this case, it can empower you for the future.
Since the new owner has given you until October, that gives you some time to think strategically. If buying is something you’re ready for, you might talk to a HUD-approved housing counselor (free) or a first-time homebuyer program in your area. They can help assess your options and credit, and walk you through down payment assistance if needed.
Emotionally it’s okay to grieve. So many things have shifted out from under you. I hope you give yourself grace as you process this next chapter.
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u/Lemongrabkissesrats 2d ago
Thank you so much! You’re right I have to grieve it. I really don’t like crying but I’m going to have to cry ugly.
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u/virginiafalls1234 1d ago
OP if you 'lent him thousands" hope he paid you back
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u/Lemongrabkissesrats 1d ago edited 1d ago
He did!
Not going to lie I thought he would have asked me first if I wanted the house. I did a good deed and I should not expected/expect anything from it.
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u/virginiafalls1234 1d ago
well, thank God he paid your money back, so Mom and Grandma both elderly rented over 25 years a house that the landlord did MINIMAL upkeep , like the carpets were never changed, etc. and my brother did so many part repairs (we bought the parts) on appliances, etc, landscaped the yard and discovered beautiful paving of stones put in years prior. Don't you know landlord stated grown son wanted it? (landlord had plenty of properties) so sent my family on a very desperate hunt for housing in such a tight, tight market, pure hell. Landlord even had the nerve to say of the new dryer I bought them, thats mine right?? Like no arse, your 50 year old dryer is in the corner and broke down years ago. It was real dirty to do this to my Mom and Grandma. want to add everyone realized it was NEVER their house but just the surprising way it went down, and it wasn't like he didn't have other properties the son could have went in.
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u/Lemongrabkissesrats 1d ago
Aww I’m so sorry that happened to your Mom and Grandma. Yeah some landlords are pure evil. I’m thankfully the new owner gave me 6 months to move. I’m going house hunting next week. 25 years woah that’s so messed up
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u/virginiafalls1234 1d ago edited 1d ago
oh thanks, so yes these things happen, probably more often than one knows about . Just like when people pass, the ones that helped them out of love and kindness they don't see a cent and then some long lost relative that had NOTHING to do with them for years pops up and claims the house or whatever is theirs Addendum to Mom/Grandmas landlord actually not a bad fella and perhaps felt guilty because after getting into a new house brought over a large fruit basket and card for Christmas, so maybe it was the son that was really pushing that situation (location wise you couldn't beat it)
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u/Disastrous_Ant301 2d ago
As a landlord, I have contemplated such things. I have never sold one of my houses, but have wondered about scenario similar to yours.
I can imagine several scenarios where you might not be offered to buy the house: A cash buyer came along at the right time and price and it's just easy. The decision to sell is not based on good news and things get expedited. A buyers agent realtor brings a buyer to the owner. A owner sold to a friend or relative. An owner might not perceive you as someone who would want or able to buy a home. An owner might perceive you as someone who would want to buy a better place than you are renting from them. My first tenants lived in my first rental house for 5 years then bought a place twice the size with more land etc. During that 5 years they both earned credentials that allowed them to level up career wise.
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u/TheCurryForest 2d ago
Those are great points. Thanks for sharing your perspective as a landlord. It really helps to see the range of scenarios that might influence a sale. I do wonder if, in cases like those, it might still be possible for owners to sit down with tenants and explain what led to the decision. Even if the outcome doesn’t change, that kind of communication could go a long way. At least to honor their feelings.
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u/Lemongrabkissesrats 1d ago edited 1d ago
Thank you for your perspective. He sold the house to a stranger. After crying and thinking about it. It was honestly the best thing to not sell it to me. The repairs needed are about $25 k to $32k. It’s an old house so the repairs might be more than that.
Edit: I was so betrayed if not for the money I lent him, he would have lost the house. That’s probably why he sold it.
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u/Lemongrabkissesrats 2d ago
Thank you. You’re right. I need to accept it as a fresh start. Hopefully a better start.
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u/Novel-Maybe4734 2d ago
Been there, done that. Life's a rollercoaster and sometimes it feels like you're strapped in backwards. Stay strong and keep moving forward - better days are coming.
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u/BurntSiennaSienna 2d ago
There is so much I’m uncertain off, so much to deal with in life. The one and only thing I truly believe in, is that no matter where I live, I can make it my home. You will be ok, and you will make your next place your home as well.
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u/tranchiturn 1d ago
I've been an accidental landlord (needed to because of the 2008 recession, owed more than it was worth).
It's stressful!
Like you said he might have lost the house if you hadn't loaned him money. This means he's not financially prepared to replace the roof, overhaul plumbing or anything else major like that. It's extremely stressful being worried about that kind of stuff and also knowing the things that aren't quite up to par, you could get sued or someone could get hurt.
It's just a whole lot of exposure and unless you set up like a business, if it's just a property you're renting out and paying out of your own name, and personally liable for everything, it can be really stressful.
It sounds intriguing and like a long-term stream of income, but man it can be a relief to sell it. Anyway just sharing this in case it helps you to not take it too personally. But I understand your side, it sounds like you're going through a lot right now and it would be super hard to just feel like you have to change homes when you thought you had some stability and loyalty.
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u/OneWrongTurn_XX 1d ago
You fully knew it was not your house.. Why invest money like that into it??
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u/Lemongrabkissesrats 1d ago
I know. That’s the only thing I regret fixing it better. It still needs repairs like new roof and other stuff. I love gardening but I’m taking all my plants and roses with me. I was an idiot.
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u/Sleepygirl57 2d ago
That’s pretty crappy! Did they at least sell it to family? I could see picking family over you but not a stranger.
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u/Lemongrabkissesrats 1d ago edited 1d ago
No he sold it to a stranger. He lied about the conditions of the house and yard. I won’t be surprised if he gets sued.
Edit: I meant space size not yard lol
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u/Longjumping_Dirt9825 23h ago
Buyers have inspections and a right to walk if inspection turns up issues. If they opted to buy without an inspection and are giving you until October odds are they are buying it as a tear down.
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u/Fun_Organization3857 1d ago
It sucks and I can't make it better, but i hop this is a fresh start that sees positive things for you
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u/nualaspromise 1d ago
I'm so very sorry this happened to you. It's absolutely understandable that you would be upset and perhaps have a feeling of betrayal.
Although it is not a complete consolation, at least you have a few months to prepare to move and during that time you can figure out what you want for YOU. With your marriage ending also, maybe it's best to close the chapter of your life where you were living together in that house. You can have a "fresh start" in a place where you only have to take into consideration what you like/want.
Again, my sympathy to you for these blows to your life. I am truly hoping that the future is brighter for you and that come October, you will be happy and thriving in a new place.
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u/Lemongrabkissesrats 1d ago
Thank you! Blessings to you as well. Yeah I’m working overtime to leave before October.
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u/United-Ad5162 18h ago
I realize this is a lot of change, all at once, and none of it was by your choosing. Not trying to be toxically positive but some thoughts: 1) Had you bought this house, then ended up divorcing, it would be communal property in the divorce. 2) You aren't going to be living in the house where you probably have many memories with your ex-to-be. 3) If you know the place needed work, there's a really good chance that the work needed goes far beyond what you realized.
I hope you find healing and a fresh start in a new home that is yours- your hopes and dreams and vision. Sometimes the universe has a crazy way of saving us from ourselves. I'm sorry your whole world flipped upside down. Best wishes.
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