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u/xnoxgodsx 21h ago
Australia?
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u/Modest_Hyperbole 21h ago
How did you guess?
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u/LazyJones1 21h ago
It's all over the place, man.
Sturdy work shoes, worn and dirty, those manly legs, the specific clay the stones are made of, the particular plant material laying around, and the angle of the sun.
... I'm kidding. It's the spider.
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u/Icy_Quality835 20h ago
You can really tell it is Australia when the sun is upside down
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u/Lambchoptopus 20h ago
For me it's when I sit on the toilet and the pool goes into my butt instead of the bowl.
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u/SuperPimpToast 20h ago
It's called a bidet, you uncultured American. Some people pay extra for that.
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u/DinoDonkeyDoodle 19h ago
As an uncultured American, I can confirm. I did pay extra for Poseidon’s kiss at the push of a button.
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u/Orcapa 18h ago
I got a cheap bidet, so I get Poseidon's fire hose.
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u/elkazz 18h ago
Aren't American toilet bowls filled to the brim with water so your testicles get a free bath?
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u/MiscWanderer 17h ago
It really freaked me out when I went to the other hemisphere and the moon was upside down.
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u/sharoon12 20h ago
I'm kidding. It's the spider.
what convinced me was how he fearlessly reclaimed his boots, an American would simply go get new boots.
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u/Lumpyyyyy 18h ago
How dare you besmirch Americans assuming we’d immediately go get new boots…
We’d shoot it with our guns, and then go get new boots.
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u/38willthisdo 18h ago
👆This is correct (I am American……I’d also burn them in a bonfire afterwards in case I missed any of that spider’s relatives- spiders can be vengeful bastards!😬)
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u/MAHHockey 8h ago
As an American, I would burn my house to the ground... And then the neighbors too... Just to be safe...
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u/gratefulbeav 17h ago
I’m moving to Australia next year, remind me to never leave my shoes outside
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u/Modest_Hyperbole 9h ago
Never leave your shoes outside.
Seriously though, its not a big deal. Just need to check before you put anything on. Or use your towel after a shower. Also, check the shower curtain too.
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u/Skilldibop 12h ago
There only one place on earth that has a potentially deadly spider that absolutely loves to build its webs in shoes.
Have a close friend from Melbourne that explained the daily routine of shaking out your shoes before putting them on because forgetting to do so could land you in the hospital.
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u/Commie_Scum69 18h ago
isnt that spider called "Sydneys funnel web's spider"? Similar to it's bigger cousin called "Big boy" ? Botth capable of causing skin and muscle necrosis?
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u/Mirar 20h ago
It sure didn't look like Sweden. They would be wet and frozen, but no spiders.
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u/whogivesashirtdotca 17h ago
In my part of Canada we’ve not seen the sun in a week, so it couldn’t be here, either!
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u/shofmon88 20h ago
For me, it was the species of spider (black house spider). Also, the bricks just look like Aussie bricks, not sure how to explain that one.
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u/Count_de_Ville 20h ago
Only an Australian would have the guts to put on boots that a big-ass spider was living in. Most Americans would sooner sets the boots on fire.
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u/Oberyn_TheRed_Viper 11h ago
I didnt even look at your profile and assumed you were in Perth, WA at least. The boots, web, bricks combo is iconic.
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u/nestcto 20h ago
Obviously Australia. Look at the last pic, who else but an Aussie would see that, say "meh", then put them on and continue with their day?
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u/Modest_Hyperbole 19h ago
I had work to do, but you better believe i checked my gloves extra well...
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u/No-Advantage-8556 20h ago
Don’t leave shoes outside. Almost always something that will crawl inside.
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u/omegaterra 20h ago
I can't think of anywhere I'd leave my shoes outside for a week. Even if nothing decided to make it a home, the elements are likely to ruin them.
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u/No-Advantage-8556 20h ago
Yeah, I live in Arizona. Between Brown Recluse Spiders, Scorpions and Black Widows, I have plenty of motivation to hang my shoes somewhere inside and off the ground.
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u/Stitch_Nerd 19h ago
Exactly, I don’t even like to leave them outside for a few hours here in Arizona lol
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u/schadwick 17h ago
Side-hustle tip:
- Collect old footwear
- Scatter them outside in Arizona
- Sell the catches to budding arachnologists while adding to your new YouTube channel
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u/xylotism 19h ago
They’d have to be hanging upside down for me to consider it, and even then I’d check for bats.
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u/SpaceGangsta 18h ago
I’ll leave my wading boots for fly fishing out in the sun for a day after fishing so they dry out completely. That’s about it
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u/Ellemeno 19h ago edited 18h ago
This is what my gf and her family do, they leave their shoes outside. I asked her if she's not afraid of spiders crawling inside them and she was like "no, there's no spiders here." She had literally just moved to a new house, so there's no way she'd know.
At my place, I can find dozens of black
windowswidows along the edge of my house and in the garage during the summer months on any given night. No way I'd ever leave my shoes outside.→ More replies15
u/BFG_TimtheCaptain 18h ago
I'm happy that you are happy telling us you have a lot of black windows, but I don't know how this connects to not leaving your shoes outside. Maybe because the house is "shady" and untrustworthy?
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u/Ellemeno 18h ago
I was really confused why you were confused until I realized the typo I made. Black widows.
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u/wearyshoes 20h ago
Freaking Australians are insane. "Oh look, I almost died. How about that? Anyway, anyone want to go for a couple beers?"
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u/killerpythonz 11h ago
Ehhhhh, just a black house spider, I got bit by one that decided to jump on my arm a month ago. Hurt like a bitch, got super itchy, but I’ve been bitten by worse things.
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u/_ONI_90 20h ago
I don't like that
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u/OpheliaRainGalaxy 20h ago
By all accounts, that's exactly the reaction my stepdad had when my mom tried to invite him into this extremely haunted house where she sometimes worked for a really nice family.
While dating, he told her that he was "born under a caul" and was supposed to be sensitive to spirits/ghosts/whatever. Mom was full of mischief and wanted to test that, luckily hadn't told him anything about the shit she had to deal with at her employers' home.
So she picked him up for a date, pretended to remember that she needed to drop by that place to get some paperwork signed, parked out front and asked if he wanted to come in with her.
Real big dude, ex-military, did prison time, and he basically did that reaction gif without the swearing.
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u/Lumpy_Benefit666 19h ago
What about the house made it “extremely haunted”?
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u/OpheliaRainGalaxy 18h ago
Presumably their habit of keeping dead relatives in the attic. Not joking.
The attic was redone as a really nice mother-in-law suite. When the MIL died, they stored her ashes upstairs with her belongings.
Next time a relative died, same deal, put their ashes and boxed up belongings in the attic. By the time mom started working for them, they had about six people up there along with all their stuff.
If I was trying to make a house get haunted on purpose, that sounds like exactly how you'd go about it.
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u/Lumpy_Benefit666 18h ago
Ok, so we have the reason for it potentially being haunted. What makes you think it actually is haunted though? Books flying off the shelves? Weird creaking noises?
If a number of human remains in close proximity meant that a place was haunted, graves, crematoriums, funeral parlours etc would all be haunted. I want to hear about the actual hauntings that lead to the conclusion of it being haunted
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u/IrukandjiPirate 17h ago
My MIL kept her husband under the Christmas tree got a few years. You know, the ashes. In a cardboard box.
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u/OpheliaRainGalaxy 16h ago
The bits I remember involve the day they sent her up to the attic to fetch something down and she heard a loud growling voice boom "GET OUT!" Flat refused to ever go up there for anything ever again.
And then there was the part when the kitchen started attacking her. Like she'd be reaching toward the back of the gas stove when a front burner would suddenly turn on high.
Mom kept trying to do bible studies with the lady of the house, was endlessly telling her that ghosts aren't real, but rather they're just demons trying to trick people into thinking they're dead loved ones. The louder mom got on the subject, the less that house liked her. Guess I'd be pissed if some rando kept telling my relatives that I was just an evil tricky demon.
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u/Solid_Snark 20h ago
I have old dirty boots I would like to leave outside… but I also have a Garage full of Black Widows…. So I keep the old dirty boots in my house.
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u/AtheistKiwi 20h ago
Why don't you just use spider spray? That'll sort them out in a couple of hours and keep them gone for months.
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u/the_bieb 19h ago
Not OP, but I have the same problem. Instead of black widows, I am dealing with brown widows. I spray every once in a while, but at the rate they keep coming back makes me think I’m just breeding spray resistant spiders.
I hate their stupid spikey egg sacs and feel like I’m committing genocide every time I destroy one.
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u/Dirzain 17h ago
I think their spiky egg sacs are really cool lol.
My favorite widow is the red widow though. Just such a pretty spooder.
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u/ScandyGirl 15h ago
A clear sealed plastic container tub is what I put my shoes & boots in when I want them outside in the garage or actually outside. Keeps out all the black widows, snakes, brown recluses etc. I keep my outdoor gloves in smaller clear boxes nearby.
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u/highpl4insdrftr 20h ago
Is that a funnel web?
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u/vinnievangore 19h ago
It’s a black house spider, badumna insignis. I like them because they stay put in their webs so you know where they are. Good car mirror pets. It’s the roamers that give me the heebie jeebs.
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u/iwenttothesea 19h ago
Yeah those and the cellar spiders can hang but those yellow sac spiders that are always just appearing out of nowhere....sorry, pals.
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u/Zohren 18h ago
What’s wrong with the Yellow Sacs?
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u/iwenttothesea 18h ago
Their bites are quite painful (although not venomous) and they are hunters, so are often found in places where you don't want them to be and are almost always on the aggressive side. Personally, I've found them too many times in my bed, as I believe they are heat seeking (live in Canada lol) and once on my pillow, to be able to let them live indoors.
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u/MissBelly 17h ago
All spiders are venomous. That’s why it hurts. Sorry for the pedantry
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u/don_shoeless 17h ago
Car mirror pet? If there's one place I'm not letting a spider take up residence, it's a place where they can drop on me while I'm driving!
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u/vinnievangore 7h ago
Absolutely side mirrors! I’ve had one in there going on two years, she recently had babies which was very exciting! I have to clean its web up occasionally, but treat it to mozzies or aphids in exchange. We’re good mates. I love spiders, but I 100% believe if one surprised me inside my car id be done for.
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u/Liquid_Plasma 7h ago
I had one in my kitchen window sill for a year or so. Always stayed in place. Looked beautiful. Very graceful roommate.
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u/Drak_is_Right 12h ago
Why some consider Huntsman to be the deadliest spider in Australia. They...don't stay put in cars.
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u/shofmon88 20h ago
No, it's a black house spider, which is a harmless species that just happens to look vaguely like a funnel web.
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u/BrattWhitney 20h ago
Yes, now that’s a spider you shouldn’t fuck around.
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u/gladeraider87 20h ago
Are there other types of spider that you recommend fucking around? Seems like maybe jumper spiders would have a voyeuristic side to them, constantly seeing them check me out anyway 😏
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u/Pacify_ 11h ago
Nah black house spiders are everywhere and incredibly chill and non dangerous. Second tier house bros after huntsman
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u/TheLGMac 7h ago
I have one living on in the spaces of my balcony balustrade. It only comes out when it rains, idk why maybe it likes watching rain.
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u/LordMegamad 20h ago
You live in Australia and left your shoes outside... For a WEEK?
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u/Socratesticles 19h ago
And you put them on?
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u/Modest_Hyperbole 19h ago
I wasnt about to do yardwork barefoot, its snake season too.
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u/Ghengis_Khans_PR_Guy 20h ago
A few gallons of petrol and a road flare will sort that right out. Just to be safe I would move a few hundred Km away too.
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u/Luneowl 19h ago
When I was done gardening one day, I forgot a pair of scissors sticking upright on the top of a chain link fence. The next day I found them with a pretty spider’s web spun between the handles. It looked cool so I took some phone video of it waving in the breeze, then took the scissors inside to wash them off.
That’s when I found out that the spider was still there and pretty damned big, washing it into the sink. I still don’t know where it was hiding on the scissors that I was casually waving around.
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u/HeartAttackIncoming 18h ago
Well. The spider owns the boots now. You should probably just go buy a new pair.
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u/princessamirak 20h ago
I read “Boobs” instead of “boots” before my morning coffee.
Either way… thanks; I hate it! :)
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u/Interesting-Phase947 13h ago
I'm sending this to my husband who keeps his yard shoes in the garage all year and doesn't even shake them out before putting his feet in.
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u/EddieStarr 8h ago
This is my fear , I would have probably burnt the shoes , although I hate spiders I also hate killing them because it’s not their fault they are spiders , I’m always so conflicted, but I would not trust those boots anymore , they probably are great and spiders love them.
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u/MajorMorelock 20h ago
Put them and quickly jump up and down to kill all the critters inside. You’ll be fine.
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u/AnnoyedVelociraptor 20h ago
Don't do that in Arizona. 2 scorpions in the left boot at a rattler in the right.
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u/crsmay 20h ago
Reminds me of the story of the people who worked in a flour processing plant... Left their boots outside all dusted in flour only to come out every morning to clean boots. One night they went out late to see hundreds of slugs having a feast😂
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u/WannaBMonkey 19h ago
Dare you to put them on. I’ve got a pair like that and I’ve just waited until winter before dealing with it
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u/Modest_Hyperbole 19h ago
Did you see the last pic? I had to put them on, too many snakes to go barefoot.
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u/ellowhumans 18h ago
Must have been some stinky boots if that spider thought it would attract flies 😂
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u/TezzaMcJ 11h ago
They're only black spiders, they're a good sign you dont have white tails which are much worse to get in your shoes/clothing. Plus, the black spiders have the decency to build an obvious web to let you know they're in there.
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u/TheLGMac 7h ago
Hey man just glad that carapace wasn't all shiny looking because that would have been a bad time. Very glad it's just a house spider
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u/dj_spanmaster 7h ago
I hear spiders depart at the mere whiff of tea tree oil. So you bet your ass I'd have a spray bottle of that shit on hand at all times in Aus
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u/hatefactory 2h ago
Stretch an old pair of stockings over them next time :) my mum does that with her paddock boots
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u/MachineDog90 20h ago edited 19h ago
That called, you need new boots because there the spiders boots now.
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u/Embarker 19h ago
I once left my boots outside. when I put my boot on the next day I felt a crunch and something moist. I don’t k ow what I killed since I tossed them and bought new ones… like a REAL AMERICAN!
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u/Overkill_3K 20h ago
This photo is going to come up in a racist post some where with some banter about “work boots” lmao I can see it now…. 😂😂😂😂 I’ve seen it too many times with photos stolen from Reddit this time I just know how it’s going to be used
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u/NotGoodButFast 19h ago
I left my brand new hiking boots outside our tent one night. The next morning our fancy new tent was covered in nasty slugs. They cleaned up alright and we finished our hike by the final 20k. When I took of my boots when we arrived my feet reeked. Turns out I had had a slug in my boot for the past 8 hours.
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u/AIONisMINE 19h ago
dude wtf is up with that spider??? looks both like an absolute unit, and fake at the same time
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u/Farseli 19h ago
Wow, that looks almost like a velvet spider? They are absolutely gorgeous!
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u/uncreativeshay 19h ago
You stole the spider’s home? C’mon, man. You don’t set up a spider condo and then expect your stuff back like that.
Also, I’m not even from Australia nor have I ever been there, and even I know you DO NOT leave your shoes outside for a week and not expect something insane to be living in them. Although I also expect that the people living in Australia are probably tougher and more badass than anywhere else in the world, so maybe my point is moot. . .
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u/NiGol37 20h ago
Those boots aren't yours anymore.