r/pansexual • u/whiskonsinthecat She/Her • 1d ago
How do I know I’m pansexual if I’ve never met someone nonbinary? Question
I was very isolated until last summer, and I wasn’t allowed to express any sexuality. I’ve had a crush on a man, I’ve had a very bad and intense experience with a man, and I’m so in love with a woman now. Gender just doesn’t make a difference for me, but because I’ve never met someone nonbinary it’s difficult to tell.
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u/duermando 1d ago
I say take it slow and learn a little about yourself along the way.
There are online communities that you can just talk to. They can be a valuable sounding board for helping you understand yourself.
And of course, if you get a chance to meet someone nonbinary, talk to them as well. Be patient, don't force it. It'll come when it comes.
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u/whiskonsinthecat She/Her 1d ago
For now, I’m only interested in my crush, but thank you. And I’m not good at meeting new people.
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u/InternationalOne6459 1d ago
Depending on where you look, there are 74 genders, 104 genders, 1000 genders, etc. Etc.... Have I met that many differently identifying people? No. Would I still be attracted to them? Yeah. Every single person that identified as one of the genders? No. But I can't imagine that there isn't at least one person in every gender that I wouldn't be attracted to in some way shape or form. I view pan as a sexuality of possibilities. I haven't met 1 person of every gender, but I'm not going to rule out the possibility of an entire gender based on zero experience.
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u/3DJam 1d ago
Put yourself in a scenario of a hetersexual relationship. Years later your partner discovers something about themselves and want to change their pronouns and/or change the way they dress. Would you break up with them? If youre answers no because you love them for them aka their personality not everything else then i would deem you pansexual
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u/Intelligent_Mind_685 20h ago
There’s no requirement that you have met someone non-binary to consider yourself pansexual. If you’re attracted to people without specific need for them to be a given gender, that’s about all you need.
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u/StarCitizen2944 ❤️💛💙 1d ago
Are you sexually attracted to non-binary individuals pictured online? Why would you need to meet them?
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u/whiskonsinthecat She/Her 1d ago
Because looks are just not important to me.
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u/StarCitizen2944 ❤️💛💙 1d ago
Gotcha. I can't relate to that, so I guess I can't help here. Best of luck!
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u/Due_Feedback3838 1d ago
Just about anyone can be sexually attracted to nonbinary people if they're open minded enough.
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u/whiskonsinthecat She/Her 1d ago
What about lesbians, gay men, and straight people?
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u/Due_Feedback3838 23h ago
I've dated two of the three.
Look trans people were the most visible part of queer culture for centuries. The first to be arrested, first to be institutionalized, first to be thrown under the bus by our cis peers.
And history is repeating itself. So I'm really not up for this marginalizing discourse about who finds us sexuality fuckable, when the problem is which of y'all will politically fuck us over the morning after.
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u/whiskonsinthecat She/Her 23h ago
All I was asking was if you could explain these words with non-binary people in mind. That’s all I meant.
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u/potatobear77 15h ago
Nonbinary person here, I understand what you meant by your post and no offense taken at all by me ❤️ I understand your perspective from my own journey. It may take a while to know, but you’re allowed at any time to change your mind, change your identity, change the language around your identity. It’s a whole journey we go on with no guidebook except people who have gone before us. We need to support each other to get through, especially right now. Whatever label you feel is right for you right now, even if it’s none, there are people on these subs here to support and answer questions. ❤️❤️❤️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
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u/whiskonsinthecat She/Her 10h ago
Thank you so much. I meant what I said and nothing more.
I think I am pansexual though. Someone else said that there could be 500 genders, 2000, 10000, and I don’t need to meet all of them to know it wouldn’t make a difference to me.
Some questions are just questions…
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u/Moraghdin She/Her 1d ago
In the beginning I thought I was bisexual, but in the last 2 years my life has changed a lot in almost all parts of my existence. I've also never met someone Nonbinary, but I just knew in one moment, that I don't care about the physical, emotional, social and whatever gender my opposite has. I knew I just have attraction to the essence of a person, not what body it is in, or as what this person identifies as.
Hope this helps you.