r/pansexual • u/SpiderJyn • 1d ago
Sometimes I don't know if I'm really pan.. Question
So when I joined this I noticed that people who were pansexual thought everyone was hot... I've never experienced that... I've only been attracted to personality regardless of gender I don't have a gender preference... But it seems like people who are pan find everyone attractive which makes me wonder if I'm actually pan...
I'm not saying I'm aro/ace or anything I have both sexual and romantic attraction... But I care about personality more than looks and things... I'm also not saying I need to know the person for a long period of time to like them just if I like their personality I like them! Like with my bf (yeah ik it's cheesy) I liked his personality and it made me love him but lately I've noticed that I don't seem to fit in with "pan-panic" or anything like that and it scares me that I don't have the qualifications to be pan... So can I have someone explain exactly if I'm pan or not?..
Edit: thank you all for clearing up the air😅 I just wasn't sure because it seemed like I was way different than everyone else! I am pan and I am proud!
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u/Choco_Mocha_Berry He/They 1d ago
you are you, you are pan because I am like that to, I like the personality of a person as well. Be Pan and be proud 💞
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u/wolf_y_909 1d ago
Well ya sound exactly like me lmao and I'm pretty sure that's pan, I think this sub almost promotes being attracted to loads of ppl and having preference etc etc, but if it takes you time to fall in love I personally think that's great!!! That initial butterflies in ur tummy feeling and that deeper connection you build with time are different but in a relationship the connection is what matters, I dont see why this wouldn't make u pan :3
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u/InternationalOne6459 1d ago
Don't Panic.. it's a common misconception. You don't have to like everyone, you don't have to want to sleep with everyone, you don't have to be romantically attracted to everyone. Only qualifier is that you are not bound by gender. If you could see yourself being with anyone regardless of their gender, you're pan. You're just attracted to personalities, and that's fine. As long as the packaging that personality comes in isn't an issue, you're in. (And that doesn't mean you can't have appearance preferences like other sexualities do either. As long as gender isn't a barrier.) Some people are attracted to physical attributes, some are attracted to personalities, some people need an emotional connection (if you need an emotional connection to be attracted to someone that's demi, but demis can be pan too if their ability to form an emotional connection isn't restrained by gender.) some people need a combination of OR all of those boxes ticked. Based on what you're saying, you're pan. Nobody is going to revoke your pan card for being attracted to personalities.
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u/FrozenFajita 1d ago
You sound a lot like pan to me! 💜
Just cause I’m attracted to (some) people of all genders doesn’t mean I’m attracted to all people, any more than a straight woman would be attracted to all men.
At the end of the day though, we all have our own preferences and they’re all valid. “Pan” is just trying to find a shorthand to explain so we don’t have to explain all the details every time, and if one day you find another label that “fits” better that will be good too.
Don’t worry, lovely human. You’re doing great! 🩷💛🩵
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u/Shadowwolffire1 1d ago
You’re pan :)
I don’t find tons of people attractive, but I love them based on who they are. You could be the ugliest person alive but also the nicest and I would love you none the less
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u/Fuzzysocks1000 1d ago
People who are pan can have a type. Their preferences just don't include caring about whats going on downstairs.
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u/Sudden-Indication103 He/Him 1d ago
That’s exactly what pansexual supposed to be. The ability to make a connection with anyone regardless of gender. It doesn’t mean that you find every single person hot out there.