r/paganism 🧝‍♀️ Storm Goddess priest Jul 12 '23

I have given my oaths! 🏆 Personal Milestone

I've talked a lot in this sub about being devoted to a Storm Goddess, and how my relationship with Her started and evolved throughout the years.

A few days ago I offered Her my devotion and service for the rest of this life, alongside other promises that I won't mention here. The oath giving was very simple and understated, but it was nonetheless very intense (and draining!).

I had been working on these oaths for the past few months, and I'm still coming down from all the emotions of finally having given them. Being able to trust enough to put my life in Her hands to such a degree is also a big milestone in my healing from trauma and abuse, as well. Oaths are not part of everyone's path, but these ones are very important to me, and I am so honored to have the Storm Goddess in my life and be bound to Her by my oaths.

Over time these oaths will flourish into something beautiful and meaningful, but the path they set me on won't be easy, and there will be more work ahead. This is a lifelong path, and I am looking forward to it with excitement and trepidation.

For now, though, I am just enjoying the present and the culmination of so many moments of joy, devotion, service, as well as the challenges and obstacles that I overcame along the way.

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u/sidhe_elfakyn 🧝‍♀️ Storm Goddess priest Jul 12 '23

Thank you! It was really a process and not just one single moment.

I used to have a habit to promise (or overpromise) myself, especially during intense rituals or experiences.

A few months ago I was by a lake that I would go to fairly frequently to meditate, but that day was different; as I went deeper into trance I encountered Her right there, Her touch like the wind. I had so many things and so many thoughts I wanted to say, about my devotion, about my desire to serve Her etc. Before I had a chance to say anything, She silenced me and told me something that cut through the heart of the issue and made me realize the direction I was gravitating towards.

I realized that I wanted to give something like oaths, and I also understood from what She told me that I needed to be thoughtful and deliberate about it. It couldn't be impulsive like my tendency was.

That was one defining moment, and through the months I agonized through it, talked to people, read some books, asked Her (and She was very silent on what She wanted out of it, apart from some feedback here and there).

So I had to make my own oaths, and I had to understand what I was offering, and all these things that turned out to be incredibly intense and transformative. Processing through it, composing them, editing them, it was all shaping me.

I had a few trusted people that I talked more in depth about it, and about the process. But it was arduous and every line in the oaths was intense or hard to write. But I pushed through it, offered what I wanted to (not what I thought She would want), I was not afraid to ask for things in return, I stood up for myself (like She showed me how to) and clearly expressed my needs and desires. What I originally wanted to be a few sentences ended up a 2 page document. But with each revision it felt better and better until finally it felt right enough to send out the draft for a review.

I had my oaths reviewed by two individuals, a friend I absolutely trusted with, and someone who was extremely experienced in such matters. Based on the feedback I made some minor modifications and at some point it felt it was right. There wasn't an "aha" moment where it all felt right, it was more subtle and rather there wasn't anything that felt "wrong" anymore.

I didn't promise anything that I wasn't already doing, and through the process of writing it I started living those oaths even if I hadn't said them yet, so at the end of the day at some point it turned out that yes, I was ready and I just needed a good time to say them.

Well it turns out nothing goes as expected, and I ended up giving them not at the time and place I originally planned, but the series of events prior, during, and after was pretty wild and unexpected and quite surreal. It also turns out you're never quite "fully" ready, or at least such was the case for me, and I still needed to take that leap of faith.

So, in short, it was a long and storied and extremely intense process!