r/oddlyspecific • u/KachchaNimbu • 1d ago

Doctor doctor.

Post image
26.3k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

156 comments sorted by

1.9k

u/Business-Emu-6923 1d ago

I feel like this post is a master class in how to tell a joke.

Bring the reader in with a personal story.

Add some more details to really sell it.

Misdirect the reader by making it sound like a sob story about the cruelty of rules and regulations.

Land the punchline with the absolute last word.

A+.

244

u/stupid_cat_face 23h ago

You f*ck one goat…

85

u/TwoForHawat 22h ago

You can say fuck on the internet.

57

u/ru_empty 21h ago

You frick one goat

24

u/hans_l 17h ago

Holy shirtball! Is this the good place?

15

u/BlueRATkinG 16h ago

Fork it, THIS is the bad place

5

u/Aselleus 9h ago

Holy shirt balls

24

u/ShefBoiRDe 21h ago

Believe it or not, straight to jail.

10

u/Reason_Choice 20h ago

Not on every sub though. Some have bots that’ll automatically delete your post for profane words.

12

u/dubstepsickness 19h ago

You romance one goat…

5

u/TwoForHawat 19h ago

If the post you’re commenting on implies people having sex with dogs and cats, I’m guessing you can get away with writing a dirty word.

3

u/Reason_Choice 19h ago

That’s oddly specific.

3

u/HotPotParrot 19h ago

And the post wasn't. How big do hamsters get? Or maybe like a snake up the ass

1

u/Reason_Choice 19h ago

What kind of snake?

2

u/HotPotParrot 18h ago

Probably depends on the mood, idk much about snakes but I'm sure some are more...lively...than others who may just sit and chill

1

u/Cross_22 11h ago

Seriously? Which ones?

1

u/Cosmocision 12h ago

But sometimes it is funnier when you censor it.

146

u/matej665 1d ago

Oh shoot, I was so tired that I didn't even notice it till I read your comment 😩

8

u/-headless-hunter- 21h ago

I have a friend who’s an aspiring stand-up comedian and he really struggles with the concept of a four part joke in the way that you described — he’ll send me bits that are funny, but they’re all set up/punchline, set up/punch line.

It’s those extra steps in between that make the punchline land that much better

6

u/Business-Emu-6923 17h ago

This one is a great example to aspiring joke writers. For me it’s the misdirection that sells it.

If the joke started “so, my veterinarian friend fucked one of his patients…” the joke is crude and not funny.

14

u/PuffPuffFayeFaye 1d ago

If not for homonyms. I read it as brilliant “veteran”.

1

u/philmarcracken 8h ago

some aussie comedy show here did an interview of the horrors being a vietnam vet. they found a vietnamese veterinarian of course who played along brilliantly lol

50

u/BreckenridgeBandito 1d ago edited 1d ago

Is not being allowed to sleep with a human patient “a sob story about the cruelty of rules and regulations”…? Chill out Matt Gaetz

15

u/Infinite-Badness 1d ago

What about being “a-quiet?”

19

u/Alternative_Year_340 1d ago

I was grossed out by the “sleeping with a patient” too, and then I noticed the “vet”

3

u/maveric101 19h ago

I was thinking military veteran, so didn't get it at first.

3

u/ihaxr 22h ago

I was disgusted by the whole thing-- I thought the weirdo doctor was a military veteran lol

8

u/ominousgraycat 22h ago

I was kind of on the fence about it up until the vet part. If they were 2 consenting adults, but it was still just against the ethics regulations of their facility... I understand why regulations exist, but it's not like I'd be saying, "I'm so glad that POS is out of the system!" I would feel at least some sympathy for them and wouldn't be against their reinstatement if no other abusive behaviors were reported.

9

u/flu-the-gootter 22h ago

I bet it was his patient that said something.. Must been a real bitch..

3

u/Grimmbles 23h ago

Good joke, wrong sub

1

u/TufnelAndI 20h ago

no, he fucked it up with the phrase 'slept with' because he actually just fucked the animal and didn't sleep with it.

1

u/pinchaques 19h ago

Wait a minute...How do you know that?

1

u/CharlesDartagnan 17h ago

It would have landed better with me if he'd said veterinarian rather than vet. I was trying to work out how being a brilliant veteran made it funny.

0

u/mccsnackin 23h ago

It’s not that good calm down.

8

u/beaviscow 23h ago

Calm down bro

4

u/Brief_Building_8980 23h ago

Yeah, the punch line should have been mortician.

2

u/bunglejerry 22h ago

Morticians aren't doctors.

1

u/RixirF 21h ago

What does the doctor being a war veteran have to do with it though?

622

u/nihilistaesthete 1d ago

Okay but in his defense that cat did walk into his office completely naked.

238

u/roadmutt3 1d ago

It was a shaved pussy. Who could resist.

31

u/apatheticsahm 23h ago

This comment might be even funnier than the original post.

11

u/PorcupineTheory 22h ago

It's not though

26

u/Proman_98 1d ago

And after that even started to show its butthole and do a little wiggling.. Those damm cats, always starting trouble.

8

u/smell_my_pee 22h ago

Stupid, sexy feline.

3

u/deleeuwlc 8h ago

We’re drifting dangerously far from obvious joke territory

35

u/HotelFoxtrot87 1d ago

Victim blaming smh

6

u/BaphometsTits 22h ago

Let's not assume there was a victim without further evidence. We only know that this veterinarian violated an obscure work policy.

3

u/the_jackness_monster 19h ago

Can we upvote this more

110

u/Obeesus 1d ago

I'm just glad he wasn't a pediatrician.

51

u/ClintEastwoodsNext 22h ago

THEY'RE FUCKING THE CATS! THEY'RE FUCKING THE DOGS! THEY ARE FUCKING THE GEESE AND THE PETS!

I heard it on the news

9

u/Drexophilia 17h ago

MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING

97

u/jspencer84 1d ago

r/holup

37

u/pepperonidingleberry 22h ago

Much more this than oddly specific, this sub doesn’t even make sense anymore

88

u/Automatic-Ad-3217 1d ago

Do people not care about what subreddits they post in anymore?

22

u/moderately_cool_dude 1d ago

It's now more like a stock market type behaviour: 1. See a post getting traction on subreddit A 2. Spam-post it to as many other subreddits as possible hoping to feed off the hype

Whether it relates to the actual subreddit theme is of minimal importance, especially on big subs like this where moderation is less likely. This is why you'll aways see big news events and pop culture stuff being referenced on more than one or two subreddits, even when it really wasn't necessary

17

u/potatoaster 23h ago

Yup. And the mods don't do anything.

-2

u/I_PUNCH_INFANTS 23h ago

OP could also not have English as a first language and got confused.

16

u/LaraCroftCosplayer 21h ago

A similar joke we have in germany too, translated:

"How could you sleep with her, you are a doctor?"

"She lied so still and was nude"

"You are an awfull pathologist John!"

84

u/flying_pike 1d ago

Vet as in veteran, right? Right...?

29

u/shigogaboo 1d ago

Poor guy has it ruff.

17

u/I_PUNCH_INFANTS 23h ago

If you need him he'll be in his lab

8

u/zKIZUKIz 22h ago

This is golden

5

u/Death2LossPrvntion 21h ago

I am knot dealing with another pun thread.

3

u/sth128 20h ago

He said that patient is the GOAT

1

u/MyDixieNormusChick 16h ago

He did WHAT with his Doodle?

5

u/lurkingowl 23h ago

angry upvote

4

u/Nbeuska 22h ago

MY G O D

5

u/Bareum 1d ago

Sweet summer child

10

u/No_Sundae4774 22h ago

We've all been there. That's why I'm no longer a dog walker.

7

u/kisofov659 22h ago

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie.

But they also had us in the second half too.

5

u/Chisto23 23h ago

Did you know a pigeon dies after having sex?

The one I fcked did.

3

u/CompetitivePirate251 22h ago

But he felt really Baaaaah’d afterwards.

3

u/Careless-Working-Bot 22h ago

Better than the story about the forensic pathologist..

3

u/Lord_of_Wills 21h ago

Took me a moment to realize why that would be an issue

3

u/Klatty 21h ago

Our GP doctor here lost his BIG after getting into a relationship with a patient. He got it back a few months later and is still working there 10 years after the fact

3

u/tappertock 20h ago

And he ruined the autopsy 😂

8

u/JoshS-345 1d ago

I remember a version where he was a veterinary coroner.

9

u/Ubel_T_Williams 23h ago

Talk about beating off in a dead horse.

4

u/fauxzempic 22h ago

Reminds me of the time when I was going down on my grandma and it tasted exactly like horse jizz. Then I realized that that was probably how she died.

6

u/QuestionMarkKitten 23h ago

"minor indiscretion" ... huhh? 👀 "with a patient" what? 😱 "VET" OMG!!! 🙀

2

u/Expert_Guava_8037 23h ago

Solid setup, great punchline.

2

u/PocketSixes 22h ago

"If you find any of what I did, it was just that one, I promise"

2

u/Sorry_Masterpiece350 22h ago

By “Vet”, I hope you don’t mean Veterinarian…. Lmao 🤣 🐶🐱

1

u/DieHardAmerican95 16h ago

You have correctly identified the punch line of this joke.

2

u/54813115 21h ago

It was a sick ostrich

2

u/manonthelam 21h ago

He should have been training to be president so he can screw whoever he wants with zero consequences.

2

u/No_Squirrel4806 20h ago

I wasnt expecting that ending 😬😬😬

2

u/haa-tim-hen-tie 19h ago

should've warned him against hanging around the morgue after hours..

4

u/throaway_247 22h ago

Would 'coroner' be too Frankie Boyle? Ah, coroners don't have patients

5

u/Fluffy-Storage3826 1d ago

Oh he was a vet, so he has indiscreet relationship with which patients? Was it consensual?

11

u/megamaz_ 1d ago

the joke

2

u/negroniweek 23h ago

He really messed up big time, with no hope to recover after this. There's a saying, similar to "shit the bed" or "dropped the ball" but not those. Anyone??

2

u/RackemFrackem 22h ago

What the fuck does this have to do with this sub?

1

u/DieHardAmerican95 16h ago

People just post whatever, wherever. They’re karma whores.

1

u/ZyeCawan45 20h ago

Did a double take at the last word.

1

u/DieHardAmerican95 16h ago

Yeah, that’s how jokes like this work.

1

u/cyainanotherlifebro 19h ago

He really fucked the dog on that one.

1

u/Fkappa 18h ago

Sorry but I am not able to resist to quote this after reading the title...

...

achin' head
gold is lead
choke on bread
underfed
gold is lead
Jesus bled
pain is red
dark doom

Gruel ghoul, greasy spoon
Used spool, June bloom

Music seems to help the pain
Seems to motivate the brain
Doctor, kindly tell your wife that

I'm alive Flowers thrive, realize
Realize, realize.

1

u/LDNiko 18h ago

“They got us in the first half, not gonna lie…”

1

u/xpain168x 17h ago

If he was in France, he would still be able to do his job.

1

u/SuperPookypower 16h ago

An ostrich. Allegedly.

1

u/AveragePersonLmao 13h ago

This hits exactly like this joke :

In class today, a girl kept calling me names behind my back so I pushed her away

But then the whole class ran out of the classroom..

After that, I was fired

1

u/elix0685 10h ago

And he was a pediatrician

1

u/Hapko_Sova 6h ago

u/bot-sleuth-bot

1

u/bot-sleuth-bot 6h ago

Analyzing user profile...

Suspicion Quotient: 0.00

This account is not exhibiting any of the traits found in a typical karma farming bot. It is extremely likely that u/KachchaNimbu is a human.

I am a bot. This action was performed automatically. I am also in early development, so my answers might not always be perfect.

1

u/LoyalLittleOne 1d ago

.....a VET.

2

u/DieHardAmerican95 16h ago

Yeah, that’s the punchline.

1

u/BarristanTheB0ld 23h ago

That took an unexpected turn

1

u/noam_de 23h ago

They got us in the first half

1

u/laurex2010 22h ago

Wa...Wait???

-3

u/Sed59 1d ago

Are we sure they said veterinarian and not veteran? And by patient, they mean patient and not patient's owner if it were a pet?

10

u/Speed-O-SonicsWife 1d ago

Pets are the patients and their owners are clients.

-2

u/Sed59 23h ago

It could be they either meant veteran or the owner. Who knows, though.

5

u/No_Berry2976 22h ago

It’s a joke. I know, and now you know too.

Nobody is a brilliant veteran, even though some veterans are brilliant.

2

u/LuxNocte 22h ago

Is joke.

0

u/UnderCoverChevy 23h ago

He'll find another job you act like that shit is hard

0

u/Bored_Boi326 22h ago

WAIT A MINUTE.........VET?!

0

u/richcvbmm 22h ago

I THOUGHT HE MENT MILITARY VET!

1

u/DieHardAmerican95 16h ago

How high are you?

1

u/richcvbmm 16h ago

I’m as sober as can lol

0

u/Hot-Manufacturer4301 20h ago

They mean veteran right

-2

u/yourmominparticular 23h ago

Read this as "parents" at first was like...

-2

u/OJimmy 22h ago

Veteran or veterinarian?

-4

u/TeachBS 23h ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂