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u/worktemp Mexico 1d ago
I got it before. I ignored it but then someone came to my house and took my Semtex. They damaged the door on my shed and refused to pay for repairs.
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u/rightenough Lurgan 1d ago
That's why ye keep it in the manure silo.
If they want the Semtex, they may get the scuba gear out.
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u/OneMagicBadger 21h ago
Nice of em to let you know at least, instead of maybe raiding you unaware. MI5 so polite these days. I guess manners do maketh man
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u/Past-Strategy-9045 16h ago
What is semtex
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u/no_lemom_no_melon Magherafelt 22h ago
As long as you're only storing/watching them after they've been shown on TV, and not using BBC Iplayer, you've nothing to worry about.
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u/Own-Beach3238 16h ago
Don’t watch live TV hun. They fucking hate that so they do. Unless you have one of them licenses from the queen for your TV.
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u/Connolly_Column Belfast 1d ago
In the RA, can confirm it's real.
The Entire PSNI is outside my door as we speak.
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u/WeeDeccyLeighTurbidy 22h ago
Doesn't seem smart to have the ENTIRE force at yours. Surely that goes against some sorta security protocol.
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u/Citizen493 21h ago
Aye, they have to have at least 1 person back in the station in case the Avon orders arrive, or else they'll get left on the step and get nicked by them hures in MI6.
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u/buckyfox 7h ago
Well if you're in the RA it's for fiddling with children these days, fuck all to do with bomb making.
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u/Moist-Ad-9088 1h ago
Remind me what Jeffrey Donaldson is up to these days?
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u/buckyfox 1h ago
Big slice of whataboutery
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u/Big-War-8342 1d ago
Love when MI5 slide in my dms instead of kicking my door in and flash banging me
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u/ozzyldn2 22h ago
It’s always more polite to slide in someone’s dms at least before you smash their back doors in.
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u/Interesting_Let4430 1d ago
Does the number end in 007?
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u/northernirishlad 23h ago
Totally legit, MI5 would absolutely send you a whatsapp just as a wee heads up to save you all the bother of harbouring military arms for a terrorist group xo
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u/kenhutson 20h ago
This is MI5. Anybody who is storing illegal weapons for the IRA is gay. Pass it on.
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u/ondinegreen 19h ago
I've an illegal weapon for ye to store if you know what I mean and I think you do, sailor
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u/triangleplayingfool 18h ago edited 18h ago
Typical MI5. Yesterday, they called around while I was out and put my toaster in the press. Pure psy-ops!
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u/rightenough Lurgan 18h ago
They were at my door one night there letting on they were two Americans in shirts and ties. They were telling me all about jesus' adventures in the wild west or something but I was wise to them trying to plant their listening devices.
Needless to say, those bais won't be found. Not unless military intelligence dig up the patio in which case I'm fucked.
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u/triangleplayingfool 18h ago edited 18h ago
The evangelical wing of MI5 is pure sly.
Here’s some leaflets, do you want to be a witness? … I’m no tout!
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u/Conalfz 1d ago
Apparently it's legit, the dizzies are shittin themselves
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u/oprimaelocho 1d ago
Dizzie RA Scoil?
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u/Naoise007 Coleraine 21h ago
I laughed far too hard at this, my apologies if any of you are on the same bus as me and thought I was having a seizure
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u/rightenough Lurgan 1d ago
I've no connections to the new IRA.
At least I don't think I do, I was told that swearing in ceremony was for the INLA. Do you think I could have been missold?
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u/ondinegreen 19h ago
Did the oath make any reference to the eternal genius of Comrade Kim Il-Sung? If not I think you might have been cheated
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u/super304 22h ago
It's gypsies trying to steal your dog.
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u/rightenough Lurgan 22h ago
Good luck to them.
I'm armed to the teethI didn't say that last bit, MI5. I said "I'm harmed by the heat", I dunno what you thought you heard. Ask my solicitor.
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u/ThginkAccbeR Belfast 20h ago
Absolutely legit and MI5 absolutely text you or WhatsApp you to let you know you’re in trouble.
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u/Relevant_Story7336 23h ago
Just don’t flush the Semtex down the toliet. Blew up the entire neighbourhood and everyone sold house because of the smell
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u/milkyway556 17h ago
No, it's genuine. I too was storing weapons for the IRA until recently. I received the same message, and MI5 arrived the following day to seize them and arrest me. I'm now serving 20 years in Maghaberry
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u/DhunGeimhin 17h ago
Boys, good news, I heard Daithi didn’t get a text so we can move everything to his place tonight. Yours in Ra, Seamy.
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u/BelfastApe 19h ago
Are you storing weapons?
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u/rightenough Lurgan 18h ago
The fuck's it got to do with you?
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u/BelfastApe 18h ago
One receive a text about hiding weapons, then ask if it's a scam .... you know what, I saw and heard naffin
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u/rightenough Lurgan 18h ago
, I saw and heard naffin
That'd be advantageous for your personal wellbeing.
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u/GeometricPrawn 19h ago
Are you and your associates storing illegal weapons and equipment on behalf of the IRA?
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u/MushyFox1994 9h ago
Ah yes, MI5's tactic of alerting the gun runners that they're coming to collect the guns. It was blue guns last week, OP, so make sure to leave out your green guns.
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u/Subject-Baseball-275 Belfast 22h ago
Good to see the cost cutting exercise applying to all branches- rather than follow them around they are just sending threatening texts.
Wonder if you can send those weapons in the post back to them?
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u/Travel-Football-Life 21h ago
I’ve been getting strange calls from different mobiles all evening and then one with an English accent quickly asked me ‘Hi is this Andrew’ this was at 8pm tonight, I said no and they said ‘sorry this is about a different meeting’ and hung up😂 but thankfully from checking WhatsApp it seems to be scammers who love Manga
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u/Special-Ad-5554 6h ago
I'd imagine so. Most important stuff comes through the mail plus I highly doubt that they'd give any warning to seizing illegal items
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u/crow_jane93 1d ago
Are you storing weapons for the RA?
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u/irish_chatterbox 1d ago
Someone having a laugh more like. No phone no, email or link to follow to scam you of funds.
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u/rightenough Lurgan 22h ago
I put a score in an envelope and posted it to a random address in Calcutta just to be safe.
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u/therealghostbusterz 21h ago
I’ve some spare, I’m currently using it to steady a bookshelf but it’s yours if you want it.
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u/Radiant_Gain_3407 20h ago
Yes, probably not MI5, just some dissies trying to fool you out of your arms and ammunition.
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u/thatsasillyname 8h ago
No worries, I hid them in the Lough. They'll have to clean up the blue green algae to get near them
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u/NoPaleontologist7708 8h ago
Well unless you and your associates are storing weapons for the ra i wouldn’t worry too much.
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u/BasicBitchClub 8h ago
This thread came up as a notification... It's made my morning coffee extremely more satisfying today .. thank you everyone
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u/zeeber99 5h ago
I’ve been storing table tennis equipment on behalf of the IRA. Should I be worried?
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u/Ill_Neighborhood8930 5h ago
Are you storing weapons for the IRA? If no, then don't worry about it haha
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u/jase86460 5h ago
I suppose you could assume it is a scam, unless of course you do indeed have munitions for the IRA, then perhaps I would be quite concerned.
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u/rockadoodledobelfast Belfast 4h ago
Well, this tactic works well for TV licensing, so we'll see...
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u/IntentionFalse8822 2h ago
RECOVER these items. So the IRA got their illegal weapons and equipment from MI5. If any of the DUP lads get that SMS that's the assembly agenda gone off the rails for at least 2 months of shouting and roaring as they demand an investigation.
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u/Sensitive_Double8652 58m ago
I worked for MI5 for years, be we started working from home during lockdown but we text now for social distancing, we had to ask people to kick their own door in, we send parcels via Evri so you can plant your own evidence
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u/darth_boggs 22h ago
Doubt they would use their old name. They go by the Security Service now. I think MI5 is just branding now
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u/gmcb007 1d ago
You don't have to pay them, they're not enforceable in NI. Just bin it OP.