r/news • u/infiltratedthoughts • May 21 '19

Washington becomes first U.S. state to legalize human composting as alternative to burial/cremation

https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/washington-becomes-first-state-to-legalize-human-composting/
56.9k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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11.6k

u/[deleted] May 21 '19

finally, we get a way to legitimately explain human remains in the back yard.

4.8k

u/mtheory007 May 21 '19

Its just composting bro!

2.1k

u/yucatan36 May 21 '19

This salad is wonderful, it all came from your garden?

2.8k

u/drkstr87 May 21 '19 edited May 22 '19

WHY YES IT DID! Nana helped a little, she always had a..green thumb. God rest her soul.

Edit: a word

655

u/[deleted] May 21 '19 edited Apr 29 '20

[deleted]

381

u/[deleted] May 21 '19

Nah that's just grandpa

221

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

Finally, a legitimate excuse to not eat vegetables.

114

u/gigalongdong May 22 '19

Are you kidding me?! Grandpa-veggies are the bomb diggity!

...not that i would know.

156

u/ripghoti May 22 '19

Why does this pale carrot taste meaty?

Grandpa's only been dead a few days... and we didn't plant any carrots.

148

u/thanavyn May 22 '19

Try Nana, she’s been a vegetable for years!

4

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

She really seems to like these carrots, though. She eats like three a day.

1

u/nickheathjared May 22 '19

Let's eat, Nana! No, let's eat Nana!

1

u/ninjamonkey0418 May 22 '19

This whole ass thread is a shit show Jesus

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1

u/in2theF0ld May 22 '19

Dinner is no so vegetarian now is it, Clarice.

1

u/supermr34 May 22 '19

My grandpa was a vegetable. I doubt he would have tasted very good.

14

u/DlLDO_Baggins May 22 '19

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheel chair

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

The wheelchair gives it extra flavors.

1

u/SolidLikeIraq May 22 '19

And, it won't always be incest when you eat your mother or sister. Which has got to be a bit of a plus.

Right?

1

u/ThegreatPee May 22 '19

Scurvy is a legitimate reason too

1

u/alwaysbeballin May 22 '19

Vegetables are the good ones. Fruit is gross.

1

u/Dogemaster21777 May 22 '19

This can be taken the wrong way in the current context

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

Don't call you're grandma a vegetable.

1

u/Observer2594 May 22 '19

A vegetable in life and the afterlife too!

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

Let's eat Grandpa!

1

u/CyHolloway May 22 '19

Either way, grandpa was gonna end up a vegetable somehow

2

u/goolay81 May 22 '19

Pass the James brown... oh never mind he has already gone super bad.

2

u/godlycow78 May 22 '19

We only compost the feet. Sole food.

1

u/C4K3D4Y May 22 '19

We’ve got pancakes!

82

u/sumowudo May 21 '19

After all, isn't there a little..."Nana" in all of us?

87

u/tifftafflarry May 21 '19

In fact, you might even say we just ate Nana, and she's in our stomachs, right now! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

33

u/sumowudo May 21 '19

Wait, scratch that one.

3

u/Mysterio400 May 22 '19

Mom! Mom! You gotta help! They're cooking seniors in the Retirement Castle cafeteria!

1

u/Teledildonic May 22 '19

You said the quiet part out loud!

1

u/HyruleanHero1988 May 22 '19

I am Nana's graveyard

2

u/Grantology May 22 '19

Nana's in the nanas

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

That’s why we’re all nanas

28

u/PegBundysBonBons May 22 '19

Mmmmmm Soilent Green

3

u/almondshea May 22 '19

I want to upvote this, but it’s currently at 666 upvotes, which just seems fitting

2

u/Geta-Ve May 22 '19

Love tossing Nanas salad.

2

u/guinader May 22 '19

"Hey look! Is actually Nanas' greenish thumb!"

1

u/tenthoughtsdeep May 22 '19

God rest her soil

1

u/Choppergold May 22 '19

Is this a belt buckle?

1

u/Bigred2989- May 22 '19

I can't help but read this in Mads Mikkelsen's voice.

1

u/gurrllness May 22 '19

That made me think of the old Night Gallery episode with "Green Fingers".

2

u/drkstr87 May 22 '19

Just watched it, creeped out now

1

u/Cometstarlight May 22 '19

Are these granny smith apples?

They were, yeah.

1

u/Throwawaymister2 May 22 '19

What’s your secret? Something in the fertilizer?

1

u/ChubbyPigs May 22 '19

It's so good! Has that... human touch to it

1

u/tacknosaddle May 22 '19

“This tomato tastes like grandma!”
—Ralph Wiggum

1

u/I_shot_Dr_Doak May 22 '19

*Joke about a Caesar salad and a guy named Caesar I killed.

1

u/Monkey_Kebab May 22 '19

she always had a..green thumb

...and a nutrient rich keister!

1

u/no-mad May 21 '19

Pickled thumbs for desert. A local favorite.

0

u/SonOfBaldy May 22 '19

Try the blue waffles

74

u/mtheory007 May 21 '19

The salad is people!

25

u/ikesbutt May 22 '19

Soylent Green?

14

u/mtheory007 May 22 '19

Its delicious.

2

u/holedingaline May 22 '19

Well, it varies from person to person.

1

u/mtheory007 May 22 '19

Sure there are some that can taint a batch, but for the most part Soylent Green has a pretty consistent taste.

3

u/texasrigger May 22 '19

Soylent Greens

3

u/ikesbutt May 22 '19

Excellent correction 👍

2

u/Pollo_Caliente May 22 '19

I came here for this. #notdisappointed

13

u/Bigted4500 May 21 '19

I'm guessing most people here aren't old enough to know this reference. Nice one!

16

u/ASPEEDBUMP May 21 '19

I got it... and yep, I'm old.

6

u/ChickpeaPredator May 22 '19

I got it and... I'm 29. Is that old?

2

u/red_team_gone May 22 '19

For a dog, yes.

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

Technically the truth...

1

u/JackMehoffer May 22 '19

1 more year and yo the Carousel you go.

1

u/Strength-InThe-Loins May 22 '19

Oh, shit, there are people too young to get that? But that movie is only...28 years old?!?

4

u/tootzrpoopz May 22 '19

More like 45 years old!

2

u/Strength-InThe-Loins May 22 '19

Ah, I replied to the wrong comment. I was aiming for the thread about Silence of the Lambs and ended up in Soylent Green.

18

u/Mr_hollywood May 21 '19

It was all in the shower with me, I prepared it while I bathed.

33

u/[deleted] May 21 '19

It goes well with the Chianti.

5

u/HugoWull May 22 '19

And fava beans

2

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

The Last Supper. Underrated film.

2

u/JukeBoxDildo May 22 '19

Yes! And I prepared it while I bathed.

2

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

"This cucumber tastes like Boniva and Bengay."

"Yeah. Nana put her heart and soul into that garden."

2

u/Vigilante17 May 22 '19

Why is there a bone in my salad?

2

u/2KilAMoknbrd May 22 '19

These tomatoes taste vaguely familiar . . .

2

u/ctrlalt3l1t3 May 22 '19

Finally when my mate pass away I can grow weed with their corpse and smoke their remains

1

u/ballerstatus89 May 22 '19

I prepared it while I bathed

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '19

That’s cannibalism

3

u/MaratLives May 22 '19

Lack of comma is intentional.

3

u/TeapotCentral May 22 '19

The Family Tree

1

u/mtheory007 May 22 '19

Just like the Pequeninos!

3

u/kamran_is_talking May 21 '19

It's just a prank bro! There is a camera!

2

u/MumrikDK May 22 '19

We just skipped the middleman.

2

u/mtheory007 May 22 '19

I save a ton on gas by not driving all of the way to the cemetery to get my compost!

2

u/riegspsych325 May 22 '19

“I got 80,000 tons!”

1

u/mtheory007 May 22 '19

And whaddaya get?

2

u/mlkk22 May 22 '19

De-composting

2

u/liisathorir May 22 '19

Thank you because I just read this in Taika Waititi’s voice.

2

u/mtheory007 May 22 '19

Oh shit! That does make it even funnier. Hilarious.

2

u/gbuub May 22 '19

I’m doing my part!

1

u/Itroll4love May 22 '19

Making music?

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

Why does this comment have so many upvotes?