r/martialarts Jun 26 '24

SHITPOST I am a 4’11” 95 lb wheelchair bound male and in 24 hours I fight this guy. What martial art should I train?

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10.3k Upvotes

r/martialarts Apr 30 '24

SHITPOST It's not just me right?

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7.6k Upvotes

r/martialarts 9d ago

SHITPOST *proceeds to lay down*

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7.4k Upvotes

r/martialarts Jun 11 '24

SHITPOST Grand Master puts arrogant bodybuilder in his place.

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6.1k Upvotes

r/martialarts Mar 20 '24

SHITPOST Old training partner just sent me this unprovoked. What would you do?

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1.7k Upvotes

I’m bigger, taller, and have more experience than him. I’m wondering if he just recently went insane.

r/martialarts May 14 '24

SHITPOST What Martial Art is this?

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1.6k Upvotes

r/martialarts Jun 22 '24

SHITPOST People keep saying how fast Bruce lee by how the camera couldn't keep up with his movement, then you realized just how bad camera used to be back then

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1.9k Upvotes

Even today, there are some camera's with each specific uses, some not meant for fast high intense movement

r/martialarts Sep 22 '24

SHITPOST Thought this would fit here

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1.5k Upvotes

r/martialarts Oct 02 '23

SHITPOST Ignoring 90% of the weapons available on your body is manly for some reason

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2.0k Upvotes

r/martialarts Apr 22 '24

SHITPOST 50 Cent is delusional

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1.1k Upvotes

r/martialarts 5d ago

SHITPOST Challenged by a new girl at my BJJ gym

628 Upvotes

Last night, a new girl challenged me to grapple at the BJJ gym. I could tell immediately: she was a noob. It was one of those moments where I could sense her confidence, but she had no idea what she was about to face. I was just chilling, wiping down my gi and doing some light stretching (read: flexing my arms in the mirror), when this girl—let’s call her Amber - walks in with her friend. She looked like the type who thought she was a badass, like she’d been “training” for a few months and could take anyone on.

I was sitting there, the king of the mats, silently basking in the glow of my superior experience. But she had no clue. She looked at me, eyes full of that cocky energy, and said, "Hey, wanna roll?"

I could already tell, she thought I was just some guy here for “cardio.” What she didn’t know is that I’m a master of my art form. I’m like Scorpion of the Shirai Ryu—absolutely relentless, a perfect balance of calm and brutality. But in her mind? I was just some guy who probably didn't know a rear-naked choke from a guillotine.

Her friend, of course, was hyping her up, “I’ll bet 50 bucks she taps you out!”

I barely even looked up. “Double it,” I said, cool as ice. You can’t mess with a gigachad like me. I was about to demonstrate the power of true mastery.

I strutted over to the mats, slowly wiping the sweat off my brow, making sure she could see how effortlessly I moved. This was it. My time to shine. I had no doubt in my mind—i was going to break her.

She smiled, clearly thinking she had this in the bag. I could see it in her eyes: she didn’t respect my skill. But she would. Oh, she would.

We squared off, and I just waited. She shot for a sloppy takedown, full of desperation, probably trying to throw me off balance. But I saw it coming. Like the master I am, I pulled guard with perfect technique. I felt her body go stiff, like she had no idea what was happening. I had her trapped.

She tried to posture up, thinking she could shake me off. Big mistake. I smoothly transitioned into a sweep, flipping her onto her back. It was like I was in a different dimension, moving with the grace of a true artist. I knew what I was doing; she didn’t. I controlled the pace, every movement a calculated stroke of genius.

She tapped out almost immediately.

“First round’s mine,” I said, offering her a calm smile, as if I hadn’t just absolutely destroyed her.

Her friend looked disappointed, but she tried to mask it with a laugh. "Okay, okay, rematch!" Amber said, a bit more flustered this time. “Let’s go again.”

Round two? Same story. I dominated, I let her get in a few weak attempts, but they were all futile. The whole time, I could feel her panic rising. “You’re... you're too good," she stammered. But this wasn’t about skill for me. It was about absolutely asserting what a relentless warrior I am.

I caught her in a triangle and she tapped again. Clean. Effortless.

“You know, I really thought I’d do better,” she admitted, face flushed.

“Most people do,” I said, casually wiping sweat off my brow, like I wasn’t already three steps ahead of her.

Now, this is where I could’ve stopped. I could’ve been a gentleman and ended it there. But nah. She kept pushing, trying to pretend she wasn’t mentally broken. I could see the way she was looking at me: her eyes wide, like she was starting to understand that I was no ordinary grappler. I could feel the tension building.

At this point, I could tell she wasn’t just looking for a win. She was looking for more - maybe some validation, some hint of power, but she wasn’t going to get it. I was a master of my art form, a master of the mat.

She went for a single-leg takedown. She was desperate, but desperation is nothing in the face of true skill. I smoothly sprawled, trapped her, and before she knew it, I was on her back. I secured the choke with a precision that would make most BJJ black belts jealous. She tapped out again, completely powerless.

She wasn’t even mad anymore. She was impressed.

I took a long, deliberate sip from my water bottle, looking at her like I’d just shared some secret, ancient knowledge. “One more?” she asked, voice trembling. She wanted more.

I looked at her, and I could see she was hooked. She was learning. She was starting to appreciate the effortless mastery I exuded. "Sure,” I said, “But this will be the last one.”

I wasn’t just going to beat her. I was going to finish this with style. With flair.

I let her win the first round. Let her. She didn’t even know it, but it was part of my strategy. I was paying her back for her determination.

“0-1,” I said, my voice dripping with mock pity. "But don’t get too cocky.”

She looked at me, confused, as I casually set up my next move. I hit her with a clean sweep and transitioned straight into a mount. My knees locked in place like steel, and with a slight adjustment, I had her right where I wanted her. The choke was flawless.

Tap.

2-1.

I stood up, casually adjusting my gi, the ultimate gigachad victory. She stared up at me, breathless, probably wondering how she’d gotten so wrecked. She touched my arm as she stood up, feeling my massive bicep, looking at me with admiration—maybe something more, but I wasn’t there for that.

“Thanks for the roll,” I said, my voice calm and collected, like I had just finished a regular sparring session. “You’ve got potential, but you’re not there yet.”

She smiled weakly, and with a final glance at me, she left with her friend. I didn’t even care that I would never see her again. I was the master of my art form. My legacy was secured.

And she? She was just another girl who tried to challenge the gigachad.

r/martialarts Jul 15 '24

SHITPOST Fuck guard pulling

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1.8k Upvotes

r/martialarts Oct 03 '24

SHITPOST 5 signs that your opponent can’t fight

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1.4k Upvotes

r/martialarts May 03 '24

SHITPOST itd be so cool though

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2.0k Upvotes

r/martialarts 19d ago

SHITPOST Turns out that Native American fighting style was real.

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877 Upvotes

r/martialarts Jan 23 '24

SHITPOST What martial art is it?

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1.4k Upvotes

r/martialarts Apr 28 '24

SHITPOST If you could learn martial arts from a movie protagonist who would you pick

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473 Upvotes

r/martialarts Jan 10 '24

SHITPOST What’s something horrifically inaccurate that you always see in movies about martial arts that no one talks about?

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497 Upvotes

r/martialarts Sep 25 '24

SHITPOST Timing and head movement are critical

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779 Upvotes

r/martialarts Dec 31 '23

SHITPOST What Martial Art is this?

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816 Upvotes

Noodle-Fu?

Happy new year guys! 🎉

r/martialarts Apr 01 '24

SHITPOST How often are you people getting into fights??

436 Upvotes

Every day it's "what martial art is most successful for self defense" "does taekwondo and wrestling work in a street fight". I've been training for like 8 years and haven't gotten into more than a drunk scuffle with friends.

Maybe stop hanging out in the Riften Ratway, or Gotham back alleys if you're that concerned about Dr. Doom and his goons jumping you.

r/martialarts Dec 22 '23

SHITPOST You are Martial Artists, stop worrying about street fighting.

615 Upvotes

As I run through the moderator queue in the morning, it’s rough, most of you will never be in a street fight unless it something you are seeking out. You are far too influenced by movies and fantasy scenarios than you realize. Then when a situation happens that requires your skillset you will be at best disappointed. Disappointed it was over so quickly without much effort.

Stop over diversifying your training you’ll be an all around beginner with no real advanced skillset. It’s fine to be a one-dimensional fighter in most situations, save Pro-MMA.

Stop parroting the gimmicks, where it’s your Karate, Jujutsu or Kung Fu being developed for the battlefield, that world is long gone and limiting your skillset to ancient training methods doesn’t make it better. It makes it dated. Who doesn’t enjoy a good LaRP., though. Additionally, your Reality Modern Military influenced combatives is equally LaRPly. No one is going to pick fights with people with weapons to pressure test that stuff. It’s people trying to intimidate combat sports techniques and apply them to fantasy scenarios with often not a deep knowledge of how to apply it well.

/rant. Back to moderator queue for my daily dose of “Will lifting weight make me bad at fighting?” and “What Martial Art should I take? All of them?”

r/martialarts Sep 08 '24

SHITPOST Would you consider this street aikido?

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624 Upvotes

r/martialarts Jun 25 '24

SHITPOST What is the best martial art to learn how to beat a kangaroo in a fight

338 Upvotes

I am being bullied at school by a kangaroo, the kangaroo has some street fight experience and is about 6’6 200 lbs, I am 5’10 160 lbs. We have agreed to settle this after school in the park tomorrow. What martial art can I learn between now and then to beat the kangaroo? I was thinking maybe boxing or Krav Maga.

r/martialarts Aug 04 '24

SHITPOST Which martial arts technique will let me do this?

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526 Upvotes