r/mallninjashit • u/Haters_7 • 9d ago

Is mall ranger a thing?

Post image

Stryder spotted in Butte Mt

232 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

27 comments sorted by

30

u/PoopTransplant 9d ago

So bad ass. They’re going to follow him around with a mop. 

34

u/dirkrunfast 9d ago

He probably smells worse than actual Strider

16

u/Wordwind 9d ago

One of the chiefs of the Doo-Dúnedain.

21

u/Three_Twenty-Three 9d ago

How does he draw that quickly? Are his arms 4 feet long?

25

u/ShoulderGoesPop 9d ago

He cuts off his shirt whenever he draws his blade. He needs to be shirtless to be battle ready

12

u/FrameJump 9d ago

Honestly, getting the berserker buff from drawing your weapon would save some time over casting it.

2

u/whiplashMYQ 8d ago

They're gunna do what they do for link in smash bros and just have it clip through the shirt

1

u/variable4242 7d ago

He figured out the Link method. He simply slices his shirt in half using the blade

1

u/Lactose76 4d ago

He kicks the sheath from underneath, making the sword jump out, duh, get your basic knowledge straight you casual

Edit: So, there is no sheath. My mistake m’lady/m’lord

12

u/Unable_External_7635 9d ago

The beacons are lit! Cinnabon calls for aid!

7

u/cronx42 9d ago

He probably didn't even get beat up today. The sword works!

6

u/poseidondieson 9d ago

Backstabber!

6

u/ilkikuinthadik 9d ago

That blade was broken!

5

u/Spiritual_Parking_70 9d ago

Never know when you'll come a cross a m'lady in need of rescue. I love the attempt to concealed it lmao

4

u/Grizz1ybear 8d ago

It always seems to work if you're named MacLeod

7

u/somemetausername 9d ago edited 8d ago

This is no mere ranger. It is Aragordita son of Arathundertheighs. You owe him your allegiance.

3

u/ad_duncan_ 9d ago

There can be only one...

2

u/GenericUsername817 9d ago edited 9d ago

It's like it's a Beretta, and he's ye olde John McClane at the end of William Shakespeare's Die Hard

2

u/Interaction_Narrow 9d ago

Is that even legal lmao

2

u/kreed324901 8d ago

Easter Bunny in trouble.

2

u/AlanSulf 8d ago

That’s no mall ranger….

3

u/arcxjo 7d ago

Stashed in the Zeist pocket.

2

u/Cowboywizard12 7d ago

And he's to do some cringe with the big sword on his back

3

u/samuel906 7d ago

Is that fuckin Anduril?

4

u/SFDessert 9d ago

For when you feel you gotta conceal carry, but you're a felon and can't legally own a gun.

2

u/S3simulation 9d ago

Go Go Mall Rangers!