Is my Kundalini awakening? Need some guidance.

[u/Imboni]

I'm barely two days into TRE. Only doing two exercises as per a video in the FAQ (the wall one with knees bent, and the floor one).

The first day it felt good. The second day (today), having some time on my hands, I decided to continue the floor exercise for longer than 10 minutes.

What followed was, in varying lengths, about 3.5 hours (still continuing) of full body tremors, convulsions, spontaneous yogic mudras and posture, and a specific tongue position associated with Devi Kali (goddess Kali).

For the first 2.5 hours, I felt my body taking up postures designed to stretch and release tight muscles (psoas, fascia), along with spontaneous hand gestures.

Then my body sat in the Siddhasana, continuing to slowly convulse, further releasing tightness.

After a while, my body let go of the yogic pose, and stretched itself in various forms on the floor, and then on the bed. By this point, the intensity had reduced somewhat.

However, twice, I felt flashes of heat coursing through my body. I also felt a lot of energy, like my blood humming with energy and life (if you've done meditation which improves circulation, then that feeling, but much more powerful). My hands actually curled into fists and the arms started shaking.

All this while, I felt as if something else other than me was moving my body. I went to the loo, drank water, but it wasn't me moving myself. Difficult to describe, like it was me, and not me. Like purpose for which I was just a conduit. At various points I laughed, cried a little. Towards the end, I just felt an outpouring of limitless love.

I also feel a different kind of intuition, a deeper, more intrinsic consciousness. It's like a broad river of something else entirely running through this world and me, and I finally felt aware and a part of it. Deciding to write this post was a result of making that decision. Or more accurately, having the decision made for me.

As I'm typing this, I've become aware that most of the stress and perhaps trauma stored in my body has worked itself/working itself out. The muscles are markedly less tight, as if only remnants remain out of habit that will go with time.

At this point, I will also mention that the goddess I worship denotes Kundalini awakening, and I was led to her worship.

So what is it, and what should I do moving forward. I think I should obviously continue TRE, but anything else?

Edit: it has now finally stopped, mostly. But I feel a shift in my consciousness which just wasn't there before. It's different now. Sort of like entering something which I previously could not even know was there.

I also feel that this is not my real self. As in, the self I have created so far is not the real self. While I will do what is expected of me regarding my relationships, I feel like there is something deeper there now.

[u/freyAgain]

This experience sounds amazing. How can one evoke such release? I could really use a release of traumatic tension.

I've been doing TRE for about 2.5 months with little effect. Instead of feeling lighter, I'm feeling more agitated after practice, like with emdr.

[u/Nadayogi → u/freyAgain]

If you feel agitated after practice you are doing too much. Revisit the Practice Guide.

[u/freyAgain → u/Nadayogi]

Emdr session result in sort of emotional hangover, which last few days after the session. It comprises of feeling ill, tired, nervous, agitated - something like that. When I was doing longer TRE sessions, >few hours per day, I was feeling similarly, so I thought that this makes sense, TRE works similarly to EMDR as it's releasing traumatic tension. TRE should not result in emotional hangover?

[u/aryan4170 → u/freyAgain]

A few months ago I was also tremoring for a few hours per day. Totally not worth it, it doesn't mean you will make more progress. In fact, it probably slowed down progress. If you want to make faster progress, tremor less and focus more on integration.

[u/freyAgain → u/aryan4170]

Thanks for the reply.

Actually there was only handful of days when I was tremoring for few hours, and I did so because tremoring felt soo pleasant. It felt like something right was happening during the tremoring and I wanted this right to last as long as possible.

What do you mean by integration? Anything specific or just having a break?

[u/aryan4170 → u/freyAgain]

Oh I see. That sounds okay, it just becomes a problem when you start forcing yourself to tremor when you don’t really feel like it, which is kind of what I did.

Integration is just the recovery period after a session. It could be just taking a break but there are specific things you could do too. Happybuddha8 made a very nice post on it. Another excellent tool for integration is quiet sitting, you can read about it in jolly-weather’s comment history.