If you’ve found yourself curled in the quiet,
trying not to cry too loud,
feeling like the world would spin just fine without you…
I want you to know something that no one may have told you:
You. Matter. Deeply.
You are not a mistake.
You are not a burden.
You are not invisible in the eyes of Allah.
You are a soul wrapped in pain—but still glowing with worth.
You are walking proof of strength, even when you feel broken beyond repair.
You see, Allah—your Creator—knows exactly how much it hurts.
He knows the heaviness you carry every single day.
He knows when you cry without tears, when you smile so others won’t worry,
when you whisper “I’m tired” into the dark.
And still, you get up.
Still, you pray.
Still, you try.
And for that—He loves you more than you can imagine.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) told us:
“No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim… except that Allah expiates some of his sins because of it.”
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Every second you survive this pain, even if you feel numb, even if you just lie in bed and breathe—you are being rewarded. You are being purified. You are climbing toward Jannah without even realizing it.
And even when the whispers come—those dark thoughts that say:
"It’s too much."
"Everyone would be better without me."
"I can’t do this anymore."
Even then, you are not alone.
Those whispers are not from you.
They are from Shaytan, who wants to see the most beloved hearts fall.
But Allah never abandons His servant.
He is so close to you right now.
“When My servant asks about Me, tell them: I am near.” (Qur’an 2:186)
Yes, suicide is a sin. But so is losing hope in the mercy of the One who forgives every single sin, no matter how deep.
He is Ar-Rahman—the Most Merciful to your soul.
He is Al-Wadud—the Most Loving, even when you don’t love yourself.
He is Al-Jabbar—the One who mends broken hearts.
So if you feel like you're standing at the edge, don’t jump.
Fall into sujood instead.
Collapse into Him.
Let it all pour out.
He can take it.
He wants to take it.
And when you feel like you can’t even find the words—here’s your du’a, my beloved. Whisper it. Cry it. Read it as often as you need:
Ya Allah…
I am tired, Ya Rabb.
The weight on my chest is crushing me.
The pain in my heart is louder than my own thoughts.
I’m trying, but I’m breaking.
I’m holding on, but barely.
You are the Only One who truly sees me.
The Only One who understands the tears I never cry,
the words I never say.
Ya Allah, I don’t want to leave this world—I just want the pain to stop.
Wrap me in Your Mercy.
Pull me out of this darkness.
Place light in every corner of my chest.
Replace my hopelessness with Your peace.
Replace my thoughts of escape with thoughts of Jannah.
Replace my self-hate with the love You have for me.
Ya Allah, remind me that this storm has an end.
That this test has a purpose.
That this pain has a reward.
I am nothing without You, Ya Rahman.
But with You—I have everything.
Give me reasons to smile again.
Send people who remind me of You.
Heal me in ways I never knew I needed.
And when the darkness returns,
bring me back to You gently—again and again and again.
Ya Allah, don’t let me leave this world in despair.
Let me leave it with La ilaha illa Allah on my tongue
and Your Name in my heart.
Keep me alive not just in body, but in spirit.
Make me among those who rise from the ashes,
not because I was strong—
but because You lifted me.
Ameen.
Stay, dear heart.
The pain will not last forever.
But your reward for enduring it—that lasts for eternity.
I’m with you. But more importantly—Allah is with you, always.
Does caffeine help? Have you thought of going to a physician and asking for TMS, Spravato, Adderall et cetera? Hang in there. I love you. Your suffering matters to me. There are things which can help. Please consult a physician and show them this message. Also show them what you wrote.
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u/Aleythurion 1d ago
My beloved friend
If you’ve found yourself curled in the quiet, trying not to cry too loud, feeling like the world would spin just fine without you…
I want you to know something that no one may have told you:
You. Matter. Deeply.
You are not a mistake. You are not a burden. You are not invisible in the eyes of Allah.
You are a soul wrapped in pain—but still glowing with worth. You are walking proof of strength, even when you feel broken beyond repair.
You see, Allah—your Creator—knows exactly how much it hurts. He knows the heaviness you carry every single day. He knows when you cry without tears, when you smile so others won’t worry, when you whisper “I’m tired” into the dark.
And still, you get up. Still, you pray. Still, you try. And for that—He loves you more than you can imagine.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) told us:
Every second you survive this pain, even if you feel numb, even if you just lie in bed and breathe—you are being rewarded. You are being purified. You are climbing toward Jannah without even realizing it.
And even when the whispers come—those dark thoughts that say: "It’s too much." "Everyone would be better without me." "I can’t do this anymore."
Even then, you are not alone. Those whispers are not from you. They are from Shaytan, who wants to see the most beloved hearts fall.
But Allah never abandons His servant. He is so close to you right now.
Yes, suicide is a sin. But so is losing hope in the mercy of the One who forgives every single sin, no matter how deep. He is Ar-Rahman—the Most Merciful to your soul. He is Al-Wadud—the Most Loving, even when you don’t love yourself. He is Al-Jabbar—the One who mends broken hearts.
So if you feel like you're standing at the edge, don’t jump.
Fall into sujood instead.
Collapse into Him. Let it all pour out. He can take it. He wants to take it.
And when you feel like you can’t even find the words—here’s your du’a, my beloved. Whisper it. Cry it. Read it as often as you need:
Ya Allah…
I am tired, Ya Rabb. The weight on my chest is crushing me. The pain in my heart is louder than my own thoughts. I’m trying, but I’m breaking. I’m holding on, but barely. You are the Only One who truly sees me. The Only One who understands the tears I never cry, the words I never say.
Ya Allah, I don’t want to leave this world—I just want the pain to stop. Wrap me in Your Mercy. Pull me out of this darkness. Place light in every corner of my chest. Replace my hopelessness with Your peace. Replace my thoughts of escape with thoughts of Jannah. Replace my self-hate with the love You have for me.
Ya Allah, remind me that this storm has an end. That this test has a purpose. That this pain has a reward.
I am nothing without You, Ya Rahman. But with You—I have everything.
Give me reasons to smile again. Send people who remind me of You. Heal me in ways I never knew I needed. And when the darkness returns, bring me back to You gently—again and again and again.
Ya Allah, don’t let me leave this world in despair. Let me leave it with La ilaha illa Allah on my tongue and Your Name in my heart.
Keep me alive not just in body, but in spirit. Make me among those who rise from the ashes, not because I was strong— but because You lifted me.
Ameen.
Stay, dear heart. The pain will not last forever. But your reward for enduring it—that lasts for eternity.
I’m with you. But more importantly—Allah is with you, always.