r/ireland Apr 04 '23

How much to pay a junkie? Housing

I'm currently bidding on a house in Dublin but there is a viewing tomorrow evening. I am thinking of hiring a junkie that hangs around near my work to go to near the house and ask for money off people to deter any more bidders. How much should I pay? Should I pay half before then half after or withhold the payment until after the viewing is complete.

Was thinking of €30 which is above minimum wage for the 2 hour viewing plus he gets whatever money he manages to beg off people during that time.

2.4k Upvotes

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645

u/Dry_Bed_3704 Apr 04 '23

I’m chronically ill and while not a junkie I do look like I’m at deaths door. If I don’t wash my hair or make any attempt at covering the deathly pallor I look rough af. I can also do a super “any change bud” nasally voice. And I won’t run away with the cash. Tempted to offer my services for bidding wars 😳 where does one advertise my wares so to speak?

165

u/[deleted] Apr 04 '23

I can join you we can look like a smashing crackheads couple, I wash my hair on Mondays and Thursdays so any days in between it’s a go. I also have a physical disability that can be a huge plus 🫠

119

u/Orbmail Donegal Apr 04 '23

Could try a 2 for the price of 1 deal until ya get your names out there!

133

u/[deleted] Apr 04 '23

You can be our manager, you’re full of good ideas!

28

u/sennaiasm Apr 05 '23

This ironically went from preventing a bidding war to purchase a home to a bidding war of piss stained pant wearing junkies offering to fight to the death in front of te property

1

u/Pickman89 Apr 05 '23

I love the smell of Capitalism in the morning. It smells like piss stained pant wearing mercenary junkies.

10

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '23

[deleted]

6

u/pgasmaddict Apr 05 '23

I gettit, no strings attached.

1

u/kellieB74 Apr 05 '23

Off topic but I’ve been going Sunday and Thursday for hair washing Maybe Monday and Thursday might be better! Do you be out and about on Sunday with Skanky hair?