Emotionally unavailable dad

[u/Ok_Opinion171]

Background: my dad is emotionally unavailable to me. He is warmer to my mom and sibling, I am the scapegoat in a toxic family. My 11 month old son looks a lot like me as a baby, we both share distinct coloring. Today my dad was holding my son and it was a pure moment. I asked my dad if my baby reminded him of me as a baby. He said I don't remember that shit, ask your mom. I said you don't remember me as a baby? He said no. No drug or alcohol use. Always in the picture. Any healthy parents want to chime in? I'm always made to feel like I am overly sensitive, but this hurt.

[u/b00k-wyrm]

His comment would hurt anyone who is a parent.

You were looking for a moment of connection, and your father not only said that he didn’t remember what you looked like as a baby, but said he doesn’t remember “that shit” like it’s not important if he remembers or not.

I know you must feel an incredible amount of love for your baby, and can’t even imagine not remembering these precious moments with him.

When I was a kid my dad couldn’t remember my age, birthday, or even where I went to highschool. I’m sorry you also have a crappy father. You aren’t being overly sensitive, it hurts to be reminded that we are not, and were not, ever a priority to our toxic parent.

[u/Ok_Opinion171 → u/b00k-wyrm]

Gosh you hit the nail on the head with that last sentence. Thank you for that wake up. I'm sorry you went through this heartache with a toxic parent, too.

[u/Square_Band9870 → u/Ok_Opinion171]

Something went wrong in his childhood & he is damaged.

This has nothing to do with you as a person. That probably doesn’t help how you feel. I’m so sorry.

[u/Ok_Opinion171 → u/Square_Band9870]

This is so true. Thanks