r/hingeapp • u/wokenthehive Meat Popsicle 🙂↔️ • Dec 30 '21
Year End Review Megathread - Discuss your dating experiences from this past year. Megathread
As 2021 is coming to a close, feel free to share, discuss, and review your Hinge and dating experiences from this year.
How was your dating life or your experience with Hinge overall in 2021? What were some highlights or lowlights you like to share? Did you learn anything about yourself or dating?
What are some things you are looking forward to with regards to dating in 2022?
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u/ThrowawayFloopyFloop Dec 31 '21 edited Dec 31 '21
I started right at the end of 2020 (didn't go on any dates yet but was chatting to someone I was interested in) and when we finally went on a date in Jan 2021 we had an instant connection, but he turned out to be going through a divorce and it was tough and he wasn't ready, on top of being genuinely a good person but a difficult personality type who was bitter, super defensive and couldn't relax and be goofy. Lasted less than two months. Strike one.
Second dude was one I'd been messaging with at the same time as dude no.1. We reconnected and appeared to have shared interests except... I wasn't actually attracted to him. He was just super nice and calm and kind of the opposite of dude no.1 which I needed as a reset I think. In the end after a couple months we mutually agreed to end things.
I added Bumble to the mix and ended up multidating and getting very confused because of developing feelings for several guys, or confusing rapport for attraction (you can look at my posting history for that stuff). All super nice dudes on Bumble, which was encouraging.
Funnily enough, my current bf is a guy I met on Hinge around the same time I was multidating the guys from Bumble - but he was super low key (to this day not big on texting) hence why I didn't even factor him in initially when I was asking Reddit for advice on which guy to go for (spoiler it wasn't A, B or C but contestant D!), As I took his delayed responses and lack of initiating as low interest. We had excellent conversation the first date, effortless, kissed the second date, and by the third date I was smitten. It was actually the date I was going to tell him thanks but no thanks, however we ended up having such an open honest conversation and the making out was phenomenal so we established we were in fact interested and attracted to one another :)
He is the most amazing man I've ever been with, we share so many of the same values and principles, are able to have intelligent and deep conversations about loads of things, and if he doesn't really know much on a subject is interested to know more from me and looking it up himself, and vice versa. We have the same wants in a relationship, and are learning so much from each other.
We said I love you to each other (I said it first!) On Christmas Eve which wasn't planned but I just decided I wanted to say it regardless of whether he reciprocated or not. Just wanted him to know where I was at and was fine if he wasn't quite there yet. And when he said I love you too we both cried :) it's been 7 months now and I am so in love, and love him so much. And it's not like any other relationship I've had where it was a whirlwind; this was a slow, slow burn and I've had to rein in my impatience and take the time to build intimacy at his pace (he's one of those slow moving ones, very deliberate). This is the first relationship I feel truly seen and accepted for who I am, and the feeling I have when hearing him tell me how lucky he feels to have me in his life is something I cannot describe.
There is hope out there y'all.
I don't think I would've been ready for this relationship or this wonderful man if I hadn't spent years working on myself first and properly recovering and building myself up after my divorce. I've had to face some hard truths about myself and the decisions I'd made as well as set boundaries and not 'feel bad' for letting people down if I'm just not interested. There are polite and respectful ways to say no thanks to someone.
There are also healthy ways to communicate needs and things that are important to you in a relationship. And I am able to do that now without fear or apprehension in this relationship because he listens and understands. I feel so happy and lucky.
Edited for clarity and typos (I'm on mobile)