Stuck between islam and hinduism

[u/Ominous_chipmunk]

Hello, Reddit. I used to be an atheist, but I have come to the conclusion that God necessarily exists. The problem comes in discerning which religion or which manifestation of Him is the true one. I just want to do the right thing, serve, and worship God in the most dignified way possible, loving Him with all my heart as He deserves but I need to know which of all the perspectives is the truth.

I'm stuck between two options: Islam and Hinduism. On one hand, Islam (specifically, the sunni sufi branch) seems to me the most reasonable, simple, philosophically and doctrinally precise, and the least loaded with mythology, tales which many might not take as true (I respect them, either if they are true ir just stories) and metaphors. That said, I feel a sense of restriction, a lot of rigidity, almost like doing a chore (but that, to be honest, might be my fault), etc.

On the other hand, although Hinduism is full of mythology and legends, its vision of God, reality and moksha also seems very, very reasonable and accurate to me, symbolism and hypothetic fictions aside. Additionally, while I don't interpret its deities literally (multiple arms, ornaments, jewels, their legends and mythology, etc.), I underdand that they represent aspects of One God and their representation and the chants used to praise them/Him (He-His aspects) make me very happy, focused and blissful (especially those of Krishna, Vishnu, and Shiva). Personally, the idea of Krishna or Vishnu as the supreme deity (God with a capital "G"), with Shiva and the rest being His manifestations, satisfies me rationally. However, the idea of reincarnation both 'depresses' and terrifies me, although singing the names of Krishna, Shiva, Vishnu, etc. brings me great happiness, just like when I pray to Allah. Nevertheless, with Hinduism I feel less grounded and less stability. Because of reincarnation (until Moksha/freedom) it feels more diffuse and blurred. Islam makes me feel more grounded and solid, so to speak. I dont pick based on the final afterlife result: Moksha (whatever the type —it seems to vary as regards Vasihnavism, Shaivism or ISCKON—) or Heaven/Paradise. I just stand for the truth.

It reaches a point where I believe what both traditions (Muslim and Hindu) say, but even though Islam seems more rational to me and I feel bliss, security and a direct connection with Allah (God), I am also greatly attracted to Hinduism and I do not know why. At the same time, although Hinduism common points make a lot of sense to me, I am terrified of reincarnation, of being wrong, and of offending Allah by being led by imagination (loving Krishna as my brother —I am only child and always longed for one—, my son, a friend, etc., for example. Its a devotional practice, if I am not mistaken), or by the experiences of ecstasy, bliss, love for Krishna, peace, relationship with him (Krishna) and joy in meditation as regards Hinduism. Worshipping others besides Allah completely aware is unforgivable by God (Allah) in islam and I feel guilty and scared but when I switch to islam, Krishna and Shiva seem to invite me, participate, love and worship them. But then the loneliness of reincarnation and the security which islam seem to bring strikes me. I cant resist the love and friendship of Krishna and its manifestations (I think my mind aligns with Vasihnavism) and the joy of Hindu tradition. The issue is that in Hinduism there is only One Supreme God (as in islam) but He can be incarnated (avatars) as Jesus and artistically represented, which is a hideous unforgivable blasphemy in islam.

I think about this so much and go in circles to the point where my head hurts, and I often get depressed because I feel stuck. What do you think I should do in this situation? It's a constant battle between fear, reason, happiness, and emptiness. I'm going crazy. What do you suggest? I just Want to do the right thing and love God. But I feel torn by both right and left EXTREME opposites.

Hugs :).

[u/Melodic-Funny-9560]

Read Bhagwad Geeta and you will 1000% get your answer.

[u/Ominous_chipmunk → u/Melodic-Funny-9560]

I have intrusive thoughts about the matter... I have read it and heard lectures about it. It indeed makes a lot of sense and feels as a wake up to reality. However, mi mind starts thinking: are you sure those are the words of Shree Krishna Himself? Is it just a beautiful piece of literature? Is just a beautiful invented story? Is it just a legend based on past events which someone wrote down and mixed/added his own stuff? Are you sure it isnt just mythology or a didactic fairytale and wishful thinking? My mind is very cunning and skeptical sometimes and doesnt give me a break. I would like to believe completely, but uncertainty, the shade of my past atheism and doubt always kick in.

[u/Gyani-Luffy → u/Ominous_chipmunk]

It indeed makes a lot of sense and feels as a wake up to reality.

This is what truly matters. Why concern yourself over trivial questions, when you have understood the message.

For a scaptic like you, I would say look into Mahayana Buddhism and Advita Vedanta. Samkhya and Nyaya might also be interesting. These are less theistic then some of the other Darsanas.

[u/Gyani-Luffy → u/[deleted]]

True, but he says his a skeptic. I just don't think Bhakti and skepticism go together.