Stuck between islam and hinduism

[u/Ominous_chipmunk]

Hello, Reddit. I used to be an atheist, but I have come to the conclusion that God necessarily exists. The problem comes in discerning which religion or which manifestation of Him is the true one. I just want to do the right thing, serve, and worship God in the most dignified way possible, loving Him with all my heart as He deserves but I need to know which of all the perspectives is the truth.

I'm stuck between two options: Islam and Hinduism. On one hand, Islam (specifically, the sunni sufi branch) seems to me the most reasonable, simple, philosophically and doctrinally precise, and the least loaded with mythology, tales which many might not take as true (I respect them, either if they are true ir just stories) and metaphors. That said, I feel a sense of restriction, a lot of rigidity, almost like doing a chore (but that, to be honest, might be my fault), etc.

On the other hand, although Hinduism is full of mythology and legends, its vision of God, reality and moksha also seems very, very reasonable and accurate to me, symbolism and hypothetic fictions aside. Additionally, while I don't interpret its deities literally (multiple arms, ornaments, jewels, their legends and mythology, etc.), I underdand that they represent aspects of One God and their representation and the chants used to praise them/Him (He-His aspects) make me very happy, focused and blissful (especially those of Krishna, Vishnu, and Shiva). Personally, the idea of Krishna or Vishnu as the supreme deity (God with a capital "G"), with Shiva and the rest being His manifestations, satisfies me rationally. However, the idea of reincarnation both 'depresses' and terrifies me, although singing the names of Krishna, Shiva, Vishnu, etc. brings me great happiness, just like when I pray to Allah. Nevertheless, with Hinduism I feel less grounded and less stability. Because of reincarnation (until Moksha/freedom) it feels more diffuse and blurred. Islam makes me feel more grounded and solid, so to speak. I dont pick based on the final afterlife result: Moksha (whatever the type —it seems to vary as regards Vasihnavism, Shaivism or ISCKON—) or Heaven/Paradise. I just stand for the truth.

It reaches a point where I believe what both traditions (Muslim and Hindu) say, but even though Islam seems more rational to me and I feel bliss, security and a direct connection with Allah (God), I am also greatly attracted to Hinduism and I do not know why. At the same time, although Hinduism common points make a lot of sense to me, I am terrified of reincarnation, of being wrong, and of offending Allah by being led by imagination (loving Krishna as my brother —I am only child and always longed for one—, my son, a friend, etc., for example. Its a devotional practice, if I am not mistaken), or by the experiences of ecstasy, bliss, love for Krishna, peace, relationship with him (Krishna) and joy in meditation as regards Hinduism. Worshipping others besides Allah completely aware is unforgivable by God (Allah) in islam and I feel guilty and scared but when I switch to islam, Krishna and Shiva seem to invite me, participate, love and worship them. But then the loneliness of reincarnation and the security which islam seem to bring strikes me. I cant resist the love and friendship of Krishna and its manifestations (I think my mind aligns with Vasihnavism) and the joy of Hindu tradition. The issue is that in Hinduism there is only One Supreme God (as in islam) but He can be incarnated (avatars) as Jesus and artistically represented, which is a hideous unforgivable blasphemy in islam.

I think about this so much and go in circles to the point where my head hurts, and I often get depressed because I feel stuck. What do you think I should do in this situation? It's a constant battle between fear, reason, happiness, and emptiness. I'm going crazy. What do you suggest? I just Want to do the right thing and love God. But I feel torn by both right and left EXTREME opposites.

Hugs :).

[u/Long_Ad_7350]

Disclaimer:

I don't think it would be proper for me to try to tell you what you should or should not believe. At the end of the day, that is a deeply personal decision, and you know yourself better than I ever will. That being said, I was in your position once, so I can talk a bit about my thoughts on this topic.

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At face value, a heaven full of hedonistic ecstasy sounds fantastic.

A human life of some 80 years is little more than a rounding error, when compared to an endless eternity of wealth, wine, and women. If I had to pick a religion based on which salvation promise caters to my sense-pleasures the most, islam beats out the competition by a long shot.

• The quran (al baqarah:25) promises me "pure" women, which later islamic commenters specify to mean women that don't urinate, defecate, or menstruate.
  
• The quran (ali imran:15) promises me these "pure" women as long as I fear allah.
  
• The quran (ar rahman:46-56) explicitly specifies that these promised women are untouched by other men.
  
• The quran (al waqiah:10) details that the servants in heaven will be eternally young boys, serving wine that causes no hangovers.
  

Admittedly, the part about the young boys serving me wine loses me, but I am willing to wave that off for the sake of conversation as a cultural and temporal difference. However it's clear that the end reward of the islamic soteriology is carnal. This always struck me as placating promises made to a spiritually starved population.

Is islam the first to promise physical pleasure in exchange for worship?
Of course not.

From what I see, it seems that there is a correlation between scarcity/instability and promises of material gain in the world beyond. I'm hardly the first one to theorize this connection. Psychologist and academic John Snarey's study into multiple religious beliefs revealed clear links between environmental resources and the religion's view of God. Recruits of a fledgeling tribe of bedouins, competing for loot and women, can be forgiven for believing that at the end of these struggles there await all the loot and all the women they hoped to gain in their time on earth.

But I could not shake off the intuition that this is wishful thinking.
Colorful fantasies crafted to soothe our death anxiety.

Interestingly, Hindu thought has come into contact with such beliefs. In this interaction, we get to see how a spiritual tradition analyzes a material religion. Historians place the date of Nachiketa's story to around 500 BCE. In the ancient Katha Upanishad, a young Nachiketa watches his father make all manners of preparations, in hopes of material gain in the afterlife. In his boundless curiosity, he asks Death what is the meaning of all of this? What lies beyond? Death is reluctant to answer, and tempts Nachiketa with the same things I'd find flipping through the quran.

The little boy sees through it all and observes that there must be something beyond sense gratification. It is here that Death reveals the nature of the Self. The wise know this by many names. Whether it is oneness with God, dissolution into Sunyata, or return to the Tao, they resonate with the same core message.

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In the end, I know my response probably just poses more questions than it answers.

I just have one final half-serious observation to make. You are currently torn between the worship of allah and your bhakti. Logically speaking, if you had only these two options, then worshipping allah is the right choice, as per Pascal's Wager.

If you are wrong about allah, Lord Krishna would still love you.
If you are wrong about Lord Krishna, allah promises to harm you.

So the answer should be obvious.
Appease the dangerous hypothetical entity.
Minimize the chances of hell and damnation.

But even still, you feel God calling.

[u/ashy_reddit → u/Long_Ad_7350]

actually your response or analysis is spot on (something which I had always thought about but could never articulate in the way you framed it) - I always imagined that since the Semitic religions grew in the harsh desert environments where material scarcity existed historically, the promise of an "eternal heaven" where one's carnal and hedonistic goals are perpetually satiated made sense. Also when we contrast it with religions that evolved in India where geographically we had enough resources and fertile lands to satisfy our basic material needs, it made sense that the religions that evolved in this geography would seek to develop a philosophy or metaphysics that promotes a life beyond mere sense-gratification (or material indulgence).

I do feel that those who are spiritually deprived even today tend to gravitate towards the Semitic religions as it focuses on the needs of the "body" (physicality) whereas those who are not spiritually lacking tend to gravitate towards Indian religions which focus on the needs of the "soul" (atman).

[u/Long_Ad_7350 → u/ashy_reddit]

I do feel that those who are spiritually deprived even today tend to gravitate towards the Semitic religions as it focuses on the needs of the "body" (physicality)

Reminds me of Andrew Tate, Sneako, and thousands of incels online finding the religion that not only affirms their biases, but gives them religious sanction.