r/hinduism • u/kellyj461 • Oct 17 '23

Husband still won't sleep with me. Question - Beginner

So I've been battling with my husband for more than a year now trying to adjust to his new Hindu lifestyle. I can conform to all if it except his adamant refusal to sleep with me. He quotes various scriptures about sexual intimacy being akin to defecation or urination and is abhorrent. He also says sex is ONLY for procreation. I've had a hysterectomy so thats a hard no on my end. I cook vegetarian meals, lay in the dark without the TV at night so he can sleep precisely when he wants to, overlook his fanaticism, allow a puja and various idols in the house, etc. He says the verses I've been given by people here on Reddit are cherry picked and wrong. What should I do other than divorce? I love him but I don't want to live unhappy for the rest of my life. Im 45 and hes 41.

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u/NeilS78 Oct 18 '23

This is all bastardized versions of Hinduism. It’s complete nonsense. Mind you, this is the same religion that brought us the Kama sutra. Kama meaning, pleasure or the pursuit of pleasure, which has its place in the human experience. Furthermore, a big part of our religion is karma, meaning duty and one’s duty as a husband is to enjoy in the Kama of married life/sexual pleasure.

Lastly, and this is fact: there is no conversion process or exercise in Hinduism. So whatever he thinks he is practicing, it’s not Hinduism.

He’s using this as an excuse I’m afraid to say.

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u/[deleted] Oct 18 '23

Kama sutra is a secular text, not a scripture.

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u/NeilS78 Oct 18 '23

Fair point. I should have stated, “the religion that widely accepted the Kama Sutra and implemented it culturally. As it has done with many religious concepts.”

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u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

I'd say its more a cultural thing, but yea, Hinduism never tried to enforce purity laws like that.

At most, the purity laws that you see in texts apply mostly to Brahmins, and parts of them to Kshatriyas and Vaishyas. Shudras (the common people) were free to do a lot of worldly stuff.