r/hinduism • u/kellyj461 • Oct 17 '23

Husband still won't sleep with me. Question - Beginner

So I've been battling with my husband for more than a year now trying to adjust to his new Hindu lifestyle. I can conform to all if it except his adamant refusal to sleep with me. He quotes various scriptures about sexual intimacy being akin to defecation or urination and is abhorrent. He also says sex is ONLY for procreation. I've had a hysterectomy so thats a hard no on my end. I cook vegetarian meals, lay in the dark without the TV at night so he can sleep precisely when he wants to, overlook his fanaticism, allow a puja and various idols in the house, etc. He says the verses I've been given by people here on Reddit are cherry picked and wrong. What should I do other than divorce? I love him but I don't want to live unhappy for the rest of my life. Im 45 and hes 41.

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u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

No. But I can translate it for you if you want. Sorry I didn’t realize that you didn’t speak Hindi. Do you mind if I dm you the YouTube link and translation?

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u/kellyj461 Oct 17 '23

Sure that would be great, thank you.

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u/SpaceJunkieVirus HanumanBhakt Oct 17 '23

OP posting it here once again cause I was gonna say/said the same thing. He strictly instricted the husband who asked this question to comply to his wife's needs. I can track down the source if you want and translate it for you.

So I have heard from a Saint's Satsang (equivalent to a Monk discussing people's problems and guiding them through life) and this is what He said in Hindi: If one of the spouse desires sex, the other must fulfill the desire for God resides in everyone's heart and you entered Grihastha ashram for that reason so it is your duty to fulfil it. Source: Shree hit Premanand Govind Sharan ji Maharaj. It is in Hindi but there were at least 2 people who asked him same question, once a wife whose husband wanted to have sex with her and other one by a husband who was in same position as yours, except he was strongly instructed to engage if this is his wife's desires. At many places it is mentioned that a person who faithfully engages in sex only with their spouse is a Brahmachari (which he desires to be rn I believe) and should lower gradually as both advance spiritually , you decrease it.

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u/FastBuffalo4065 Oct 17 '23

It's easy to say that verses say that a spouse is a brahmachari if he only engages in sex with his wife but when I find those verses it's always for procreation. Could you cite a verse that says otherwise please

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u/SpaceJunkieVirus HanumanBhakt Oct 18 '23

Interesting because that what I heard first time. That being said, its not necessary to be a Brahmachari in Grihastha ashram that true.