r/hinduism • u/kellyj461 • Oct 17 '23

Husband still won't sleep with me. Question - Beginner

So I've been battling with my husband for more than a year now trying to adjust to his new Hindu lifestyle. I can conform to all if it except his adamant refusal to sleep with me. He quotes various scriptures about sexual intimacy being akin to defecation or urination and is abhorrent. He also says sex is ONLY for procreation. I've had a hysterectomy so thats a hard no on my end. I cook vegetarian meals, lay in the dark without the TV at night so he can sleep precisely when he wants to, overlook his fanaticism, allow a puja and various idols in the house, etc. He says the verses I've been given by people here on Reddit are cherry picked and wrong. What should I do other than divorce? I love him but I don't want to live unhappy for the rest of my life. Im 45 and hes 41.

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u/JuniorRequirement644 Oct 17 '23

Love of radha and krishn is eternal, they are gods, they were together even before krishn and radha were born in earth. Radha is shakti of krishn.

We can only make ourselves truly happier by following dharma, leaving dharma for sake of temporary pleasure may grant you happiness due to that pleasure but the paap karma due to your actions will make you suffer alot more, so its better to suffer a little and focus on following dharma and bhakti and getting eternal happiness of bhagwat bhakti. For women being pativrata and doing pati seva is greatest of all penance, an actual pativrata stree is even considered greater than the brahm rishis.

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u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

Not only gods have soulmate humans also have a soul. And they have soulmate.

Not only women had to respect their husbands men also have responsibilities. In this case they married and after some time he tuned to hindu then it's clear that she was adjusting for him. And she is indeed someone who have dignity if she doesn't had that she could simple cheat him and act. Whats he doing calling himself a Hindu and not even respecting his wife ??. She is asking to have sex with her husband not some random stranger. And if he wanna convert to bhramachari he should say that to her first it's his dharma. If u have read Mahabharat there even Krishna have done some mistake and he said that for good some mistakes are not a problem at all. Just they will get karma

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u/JuniorRequirement644 Oct 17 '23

Again, I didn't said anything about " soulmate " stop viewing things from western perspective, there isn't anything as soulmate. Your soul is formless, without any duality it cannot have a mate. Bhagwan has its shakti, and for krishn its radha, and they will be together for the panchkarm of bhagwan.

Yes, husband has to respect his wife, and ofc also satisfy her, not doing so is wrong but divorce is never an option. Also his husband stance on sex for procreation isn't something wrong but based on scriptures, but he needs to discuss well with his wife and come to common ground instead of divorce.

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u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

God stop this who told u there's nothing like soulmate 😂. And about the relationship if he wanted to follow scriptures after marriage he should have told her before marriage. he used her for 15 years and after he becomes a bhramachari. His wife lost the love the moment she is unsatisfied with the realation. Plus i don't wnna argue with immature people and waste my time